Black Hole

 My head feels as if it is literally shrinking time,

But it is time that I finally face up to my fears.

Still, here I am writing even more dark rhymes,        

Just like I have been doing for years.

 Past my even my best yesterday

And I am going to do my best

To not ever start to look back

 Because I spent years in a black hole

 While everything that I loved

Was always under constant attack.

But I found a way for me to dispose

  Of the feelings inside of my gut.

 But here I lie down in my own rut.

Love is never coming my way

 And I’ve accepted this as fate.

Broken all my hearts I created

  Since the very first date.

People think to themselves,

I can’t live a lie like that.

  They polluted my heart and soul,

 Now they have faded to black.

My fingers press on buttons

But there’s no signal to be found.

I lost motivation

 When their love put me into the ground

  I’m alive inside this suicide

 And I’m not recognized as a great.

I have nothing left to try,

But the fear I contemplate.

             

 Once upon a dream

 There were wishes dancing by.

 Now there is nothing

   And I’m staring at the black sky

Your god never loved me,

 So I never loved him back.

I’m running in circles,

But it’s really the hope that I lack.

  

Pandora stole my heart from me and replaced it with a brick.

Inside I am ripped apart, feeling nothing except for feeling sick.

In a world like this how did you expect me to survive?

I’ve learned my lesson’s but never reached the other side.

 

 My black hole soul is no longer a picture of youth.

I lost my innocence, when I left it in you.

If I could say, then I would have said it long ago.

You broke me into pieces when you decided to go.

 

 Now this life is just a memory, that I suffered through another time.

I wish I could have painted it pretty, but now that would be a lie.

It’s the pain that heals, but it never cures the sin.

I’ve written in symbol’s, but I’ve never been able to fit in.

  

If this hole will never heal, then how the Hell am I supposed to live?

You took every piece of me and more, when I had nothing left to give.

If this soul is truly shattered, then why the Hell did you give it to me?

I never wanted to be any more than I could have truly been.

  

I hate your lies and the feelings you convey.

You paint me a picture of a perfect day.

Love is just a lie that you use to get your way.

The truth is disfigured and puppet’s do as you say.

 

 Your love is just a fantasy of what could have been ‘Her’,

And all the words you use are beginning to sound misheard.

I hear the lies and I wish I could turn deaf.

Now all I hope for is the road to my death.

 

 This life I have, I’d give it away for a simple piece of truthful love.

This heart I hold, it’s fading away, I don’t think it will beat anymore.

Why can’t I find one soul who is honestly and truly good?

I’ve searched every inch of this Earth and all I found were more doors.

 

 If life is black and no more colours do arrive,

Then how am I supposed to, supposed to have second sight?

If all is dark and the light has committed suicide,

Then how am I meant to, meant to look alive?

  

I’ve lived this life and I did the best I could.

It left me with war wounds, love bites, life sucks.

I’ve tried to live in the happy world but I exclaim,

There’s nothing out there! Nothing but pain!

 

 Your world has left with me nothing but more tears.

I don’t cry in joy now, because I’ve suffered for years.

This life has left me now, with nothing more.

If love is the riches, then why am I forever poor?

  

Can I not be another being in another world today?

If this is who I am, then why can’t I just put it all to an end?

Surely there has to somehow be a better way,

For me to live and love and not be condemned?

 

 Black hole sun is shining down on me.

It leaves me to suffer for eternity.

I sit in silence, gun in hand, contemplating,

But this story has been told before and I am still, left with waiting.

  

Why can the end not begin and all others disappear?

Why can I not fall down alone, now nobody is near?

Why can I not hope for the end, is it because I could escape?

Why can I not face the end? Is there really no way?

 

 It’s getting dark in the recesses of my mind.

I’m slowly fading, running out of time.

My eyes are closed but I just can’t turn off my brain.

Please press the death button now and just send me away.

  

Clock strikes again, all I want to do is go to sleep.

My eyes are closed but I can’t help but take a peep.

Will somebody be there the next time I open my eyes?

It’s the hope that kills me, let the pendulum strike…