A Habit

I was very insecure once

I didn’t find a friend that I wanted to be

Had the immense fear of losing everyone around me,

I could feel the pain and cried to get everybody back

But it’s a past now; being alone is a habit I made. 

I was the boy of thousand dreams

Found some fireflies also, that kept me inspired

But they’re just pretending, faking the smile of being together,

Now I can realize the inherent nature of mankind

Because it’s now a habit to have a cloudy face all the time. 

The solitary dark ambience is my forever friend

She always hears my soul, divides the pain that I have

An unknown lady keeps warming my blood to see them dead,

She murders everybody in silence with the time and patience

It is peaceful to see them in pain that they gifted me in silence.

I wanted to be a friend of everyone

Needed someone to have his hand over my shoulder every time

But no one was there to come beside, everybody passed by.

Hence it’s turned into a habit now, I’ve passed the while  

Anti-body is being made against their quizzical smile. 

Now, I’m smiling at them hearing the buzzing of that group

They all say I get attracted to the boys

And it is because holding their hands I tell “I’m with you always”.

But today, these don’t make me dusky

Because my ears are getting habituated with their controversy.

It’s now a habit

Looking at stars praying to have a new life 

Want to get myself killed and come back with new life.

I keep staring at my unhappy face

Can’t I wait to have someone else?

Life is like a soil-made pot

It’s shaped in the way, what around me I’ve got

Let’s just break this eternal shape and get a new pot.

I've chose those to whom my presence is important

And keeping the habit, it’s time to make myself dominant.

Now, I don’t need to stand among the crowd of boys

It’s now the world where I have to build my existence

It’s not the time to sit and cry but to wake up and see the high

Keeping the same innocence, I want to wear the crown of importance

It’s time to turn their ignorance into the reason my success.