ALWAYS WITH YOU

“Shiva … you should pay a visit to temples regularly. Seek blessings from God than only things will move smoothly. Come with me to the temple. It is going to be at 4 pm. It is time to open the temple for darshans.” – Raghav told to Shiva.

“Time to open means?. Your God sleeps from 12 to 4. If God starts sleeping then who will take care of this world. Please ..I don’t believe in this. And don’t force me to go to the temple. I am not a strong believer in God. Let Him do something great then only I will change my mind.”- Shiva.

Raghav and Shiva were college goers. Best friends. Raghav was the son of the local temple priest and Shiva belonged to a business class family. Where Raghav was a follower of religion Shiva was more of an atheist. Raghav tries every bit to make Shiva follow God. But right time was still to come. They were living in a hill station. The region was mostly covered with snow all the time. Shiva’s father was running his business from a big city and used to visit the family regularly.

Shiva mother Ketki was a religious lady. Shiva was the only child of her. Once an astrologer visited their house. Though Shiva was interested in getting himself predicted by the astrologer, on request of his mother he showed his hands to the astrologer.

“God has showered all his blessings on Shiva. He has very strong lines. There are Chakras in all of his fingers, which make him Chakravarti – the one who conquers the world. Such people rule the world; people follow them in whatever they do. They earn a good name and fame. They also seek knowledge. You are very lucky Ketki ji for having blessed with Shiva.”

Ketki was overwhelmed on hearing astrologer’s prediction.

Shiva- “ though I don’t believe in all these kinds of stuff, one thing I know. I will definitely conquer this world and people will admire my achievement. I will take father’s business to new heights. I will be a business tycoon one day.”

Shiva was very fond of wondering and seeing new places. He used to bunk classes and going for an outing. Again he bunked classes. As the exam was approaching he had to prepare some notes. He went to Raghav to copy the notes. But this time Raghav put one condition. He asked Shiva to come tomorrow at 4 pm at the temple, then only he will give notes. Shiva was reluctant but he agreed. Next day he reached the temple. It was just opened. Aarti was going on. When Shiva asked Raghav for notes, Raghav asked to take Prasad first. Unwillingly Shiva put his hand forward when his hand touched another hand, raised for taking Prasad.

Shiva looked at his side. A beautiful girl was also waiting for Prasad. Shiva observed her carefully. She was dressed in a light pink suit and also wearing a pink woollen cap, which was giving her a cute look. Shiva pulled his hand back but that girl insisted on him taking Prasad first. After taking Prasad from Raghav she left. Shiva was mesmerizing watching her.

Raghav shook him. Shiva told that girl has something in her. He was drawn to her. Shiva asked Raghav about that girl. Raghav told that she comes daily at 4 pm to have darshan. But he did not know much about her.

After that, there was a change in Shiva’s behaviour. He started visiting temple daily at 4 pm to catch a glimpse of that girl. That girl used to give smile to Shiva. Daily that girl would wear beautiful woollen cap matching her dress. That cap gave her different but attractive look. Raghav and Shiva started betting on which color cap she would wear the next day. Shiva wanted to talk to her but never muster the courage. On the other side, Shiva’s parents were also happy that he has started having faith in God.

One day Shiva went to temple little early and requested Raghav to let him sit at his place. He wanted to give Prasad to that girl. Raghav agreed. Shiva was eagerly waiting for her. That day she did not come at 4. Shiva was restless. People were queuing up for Prasad but he was not in a mood to give Prasad to others. Raghav asked him to distribute Prasad to people but he told first it will be given to that girl. People did not understand what was going on. Suddenly that girl came. Shiva was relieved. She was going to stand in the queue but Raghav requested her to come in front and take Prasad from Shiva. She did not understand. She came to Shiva. Shiva gave her Prasad and asked why she was late today. She just smiled and started to leave. Shiva jumped from there and asked Raghav to sit at his place and distribute Prasad. Shiva was following that girl.

“Excuse me miss. Wait… I want to talk to you. I am seeing you daily. Are you new to this place? Your name please. “—Shiva.

That girl stopped and turned to Shiva. Shiva was mute.

“Your cap is very beautiful. I see you with different cap daily. You are very fond of it. It looks great on you and and …..- Shiva

“and?????- girl.

“You are very beautiful. May I know your name” – Shiva.

“Gauri. Yes, I like wearing caps.”- girl.

“Nice name. can we be friends? I am studying in college. Do you study.”

“No after 12th I stopped the study. I give tuitions to poor kids. I live with my mother and grandparents. Ok bye.”- Gauri.

“ Hey, I will wait for you tomorrow sharp at 4.” Come on time. Bye…”- Shiva.

Now Shiva used to wait only for one moment – 4 pm. Gauri and Shiva had become friends. They used to talk, wandering in parks, going for tea. Raghav also accompanies him. Shiva had a liking towards Gauri and he told Raghav about it. But he never spoke about it to Gauri. One day Gauri told Raghav and Shiva that next day it is her birthday and she would give a treat to both of them.

Shiva thought of gifting her beautiful cap on this occasion. Next day Raghav and Gauri were waiting for Shiva at the temple but he did not turn up. He comes after one hour. When they asked why he got late. He told.

“My father has come suddenly and he asked me to come along with him to look after his business. He was sitting in my room. I was looking at my watch constantly as I knew I was getting late. He asked me to arrange some papers while he returns. I observed him carefully as he walked to the door. I knew that time was running out but suppressed the urge to check my watch. I took a deep breath and started counting in reverse under my breath. “Ten, nine, eight, seven.. I jumped out of the room and here I am.” – Shiva

“Are you going with your father.”- Raghav

“Yes, I have to go for some days. Tomorrow I am leaving.” –Shiva

There was silence for sometimes. Shiva could easily saw tears in Gauri eyes. Suddenly Raghav stood and told that he had to leave as had some work in the temple. Shiva understood that he wanted to give some space to him and Gauri.

Shiva told Gauri that he was going for a few days and would be back soon. Then he told that he likes her very much and has brought a gift for her. Gauri did not speak anything. Shiva handed over the cap to her. Gauri took it and started to leave. Shiva asked her to wear the cap. Gauri said she is already wearing a cap. Tomorrow she would wear it. But Shiva insisted.

“Are you sure?”—Gauri

Gauri pulled her cap. The moment she removed her cap her beautiful hair rolled down. She had long hair till waist. Shiva started looking her hairs from waist to up. As soon he looked her face he was lost in intense eyes. He took the new cap and moved his hands to put on her hand.

But suddenly his hands freeze. He could not believe his eyes. He could not speak even a word. Gauri was also standing like a statue. She stood there for some time then she took the cap from Shiva's hands and left. Shiva was still standing. He was thinking that this could not happen.

“No, no,no……” please God do not do this to me”.- Shiva cried in pain.

Shiva went to the temple. He was sitting on the staircase for hours. It was at 10 pm. Time to close the temple. Raghav was closing the doors of the temple when he saw Shiva sitting on stairs.

“hey its 10 pm, you are here. Still time to 4 pm. She comes that time only.”- Raghav.

Shiva was still. He did not speak anything. He asked Raghav why they close the temple. Was God really sleeping? Raghav could sense something amiss. He asked Shiva what went wrong. Shiva started crying.

“Why God is doing this to me.”- Shiva.

“what happened to you. Why are you so dejected? Did not Gauri like your gift? Did you propose to her? Did she say anything? “- Raghav.

“I could not propose her. When I tried to put that cap on her I saw……….- Shiva

“What you saw.”- Raghav.

“When I was putting the cap my hands froze as I saw sindoor(vermillion) on her head. I was a standstill. She is married.”- Shiva.

“OMG, she never told. That’s why she is wearing a cap all the times. She was bluffing you.”- Raghav.

“No no, she is not like that. She has not betrayed me. We never spoke on this matter. But is she is married, why she is living with her grandparents? Where is her husband”- Shiva?

“Maybe some mystery, now just forget about her. Now you know the truth. Pay attention to your studies and father’s business. Tomorrow you are going to the city. Best of luck.”- Raghav.

Next day Shiva was at the temple around 4 pm. He was waiting for Gauri but she did not come. With a heavy heart, he left for the railway station. He was sitting on the train with his father. He realized that Gauri passed by the train window. He told the father that he is getting down to get some refreshers as there was quite some time to move. He got down the train. He saw Gauri. She came near to Shiva and gave her a piece of paper. The train whistled. Shiva got back into the train. He read the paper.

“Dear Shiva. I never meant to hurt your feelings as I could not understand your feelings towards me. I am not fortunate enough to come in your life as you thought. Now you know that I am married. But actually, I am not married I am a widow. I was married when I was a kid but after some time we received a message that my husband has died. I had already lost my father. My mother thought that it would be difficult for me to live as a widow, so she decided to present me as a married woman. Remarriage is an offence in our community. Please forgive and forget me. I have decided to live like this and I am happy.”

Shiva was heavy hearted. It was not easy for him to forget everything. He decided to put himself wholeheartedly into his father’s business. He worked like a robot and took his father’s business to new heights. But he was restless. He was looking for peace which he could not find anywhere. He never went to meet his parents, quoting his busy schedules. His parents would often come to him. Years passed. He strictly told his parents he would never marry. As his parents grew older, it was not possible for them to visit him. One day they received a letter from Shiva that he is going abroad for a few times and would be connecting with them via letters. His father went to meet him but he had already left.

Days passed, months passed, years passed but he did not come back. He was regularly sending his messages by some trusted people. Though he was not looking after his business physically everything was going well.

Around thirty years passed. Raghav was taking care of Shiva’s parents. One day Ketki was crying. She was remembering Shiva. She told Raghav that she wants to end her life as she has not seen her son for thirty years.

Raghav told her to meet great saint Gyanendra Maharaj as he is visiting the town. He may be helpful in depicting Shiva’s whereabouts. Ketki had a firm belief in religion and astrology. She decided to meet the saint.

The saint was staying in the temple where Raghav was a priest. When Ketki arrived temple, the saint was in meditation facing idol of God. Ketki sat there patiently. Raghav went near to saint and whispered in the ears of the saint. The saint turned back and called Ketki near him. He asked her about the reason for her worries.

Ketki told with folded hands – “I have lost my only son years back. People say that he would have died but I believe that he is still alive and knows very well how we old parents are living. Why he is not coming before us. Once an astrologer predicted that he would be very famous but he is lost. Please tell me where my son is. You are omniscient. Please tell me about my son.”

She fell in the feet of the saint. The saint holds her and made her seat near him. He holds her hands tightly and asked her to close her eyes and think of Shiva. She closed her eyes and smiled. She opened her eyes. Tears were rolling down her eyes. She said.

“Shiva, Shiva………. My son. Is that you. Ohh… you have grown so much. “

“yes, mother it's me. See I have become so famous. I have earned a name but a different one. I find solace in renunciation. But I have not abandoned you and my duties towards my parents. Raghav is taking care of you as your own child. Now you know me. Don’t worry. We will be regularly in touch.”- Shiva

“yes I want to be your disciple. Accept me.”- Ketki

After some good time, Ketki returned home. The temple was about to close. It was very cold. Chilled winds were blowing. Shiva was standing outside. He asked Raghav to get him some shawl or muffler to cover his head. Raghav went inside.

“Please cover your head with this cap. You will feel better.”- A voice

Shiva turned. He saw an old lady carrying a woolen cap. He took the cap in his hand and watched carefully. It was the same cap which he gifted to Gauri. Still, the cap had new look. He looked at that lady. It was Gauri only. Old but graceful. She asked for Prasad.

Shiva went inside the temple and brought Prasad for her. He gave her the Prasad and blessed her- “Always remain married.”