Mental Space

Savithri was with Dr. Balan a Psychiatrist, she was diagnosed for a Depression and mental illness issues. Dr. Balan was around 60 years old and had a immense experience in treating patients with mental illness. He was passionate and never gave up on the cases that he studied. Though he was one of the busiest doctor, he ensured he give sufficient time and ear to his patients.

Savithri was aged around 38 years old, She was married and had a son of about 14 years old. Her Husband was into business, traveled to other cities for business purpose. It was he who discovered the changes in behavior of his wife and sought medical help to resolve the issue. Her Mother-in-law was an old lady of 70 plus years. Who was always glued to TV serials.

Dr. Balan made savithri feel comfortable by asking her about her hobbies and interests. Slowly he changed the topic towards her problem. he wanted to know what is stressing her so much that she is into depression.

Initially Savithri hesitated to answer Dr. Balan, but slowly she was confident that Dr. Balan could give her some advice that might bring her out of the depression state. Dr. Balan was successful in making her believe in him.

Savithri took a sip of water and continued, Dr. Balan, I am very much disappointed with the way my mother in law treat me or talk about me. I take care of the entire household work and kids. I ensure I give my best to my family, but yet my mother in law always put me down. It's been more then 16 years we have been married and still she don't understand me. My Husband would not lend an ear to me if I complain about her. I cannot share how much I am hurt by her behavior to anyone else, since its my prestige issue. She always nag me in front of relatives and her friends.

Dr. Balan, listened to her carefully and gave a warm smile. He tapped her hand and said "This is very small issue Mrs. Savithri Rajan, why do you worry so much for this??".

Savithri was staring at a table mat close by, something was running in her mind. Dr. Balan noticed it and cut her thoughts short.

Dr. Balan said "Savithri, if your mother in law says bad about you,it doesn't mean you are bad. Isn't it?? your mother in law judge you based on her views on you. Not only your mother in law, human beings judge people based on their views. If their thoughts towards you is positive then you are their favorite. If its negative then you are their enemy. So that should not make you worry. Why do you bother about what others think about you based on someone else opinion??

Savithri looked at Balan and wanted to know hear more from him.

Dr. Balan continued, "Let me tell you a small story, we had a dhobi in our village, very hardworking fellow but he could not afford a donkey to carry the load to nearest lake. So he carried the entire load or burden on his head and walked everyday for 4 kms to reach lake. It continued for more than 2 years. Somehow he managed to save money and brought a donkey to help him. People were shocked and had a laugh at Dhobi's stupidity because he left Donkey to graze and follow him and carried the load on his head as usual. When someone questioned him, why he is not using donkey to carry load. He said its become a habit to me to keep load on my head, without that now my head would shake like a doll. So I am unable to keep the load down and not able to use donkey as well.

So here you are carrying the load just like Dhobi and it has become a habit to you. Savithri felt what Dr. Balan was telling is true.

You overheard your mother in law few times complaining about you to others and your mind got into habit of thinking that when ever she meet people she will only complain about you. So please come out of this vicious circle. People talk as their mood depends like when you are happy and if I ask you how is life??? Your answer will be It's great and wonderful. When you are sad, your answer will be its hopeless, I wish death take over me. When you are in OK..OK..mood, your answer would be its going on... let it take me where ever it's going. Similarly when people talk about others again it depends on their mood. So never be bothered about what others talk about you, be yourself. Think positive and bring positive changes.

Savithri was listening to Dr.Balan and felt bit relieved. Yes she was overthinking about few scenarios and over imagined the rest and that pushed her towards depression.

Savithri smiled at Dr. Balan and said yes I was overthinking about a small issue.

Dr. Balan smiled back and said, one more thing savithri "Everyone need their Mental space, they should be allowed to talk whatever they feel. We should not judge them based on their words. There is nothing wrong in speaking to friends or close aides about something that worry you, just that you need to trust a right person. The same applies to your mother in law as well. I have prescribed few tablets, please take them on time and let me know the progress in a week. Next time when I see you, I should declare to stop medications to you. good luck lady!!!!

Savithri smiled and thanked Dr. Balan and left the room.

She came home and went to see her mother in law, who was worried for her daughter in law. She asked what did Doctor say?? How many times I told you to not to work from daylight to dawn?? I was worried a lot... why can't you take care of your health?? What is it that's worrying you tell me...I am like your mom.

Savithri just gave smile and hugged her mother in law. Tears rolled down from her eyes.