Part Three: The War of the Eggs
I now asked the Emperor for permission to visit the capital city of Lilliput,
which is called Mildendo. The Emperor allowed me to go, but he told me to
be careful when I was there. He did not want me to frighten the people. I
was very happy to see the city, and particularly to see the Emperor's
palace. I could not enter the palace, of course, because J was too big. I
could look in through the windows, however, and I was delighted by what
I stayed in Mildendo about two weeks. One of the Emperor's ministers
came to see me one day. He looked very worried, and he said he needed my
help. Then he told me that there was going to be a war with the country of
Blefuscu. He explained the reasons for the war.
They seemed very strange reasons to me, because they concerned the
correct way to eat eggs. In the past, the people of Lilliput and the people of
Blefuscu had agreed about this. They had both believed that eggs should be
broken at the bigger end.
One day, however, the Emperor's grandfather had an accident while he
was opening an egg. He cut his finger. He ordered all Lilliputians to open
eggs from the smaller end in the future. The people did not like this order,
and many of them refused to obey the Emperor. There was a civil war in
Lilliput, and many people were killed. The Emperor's minister explained to
me that Blefuscu supported the rebels in the civil war—many rebels went to
live in Blefuscu.
The situation was now very serious because Lilliput and Blefuscu were at
war. Thousands of people had been killed in the war of the eggs. The
government minister told me that Blefuscu was planning to attack Lilliput.
The Emperor wanted my help. I told the minister that I was ready to help the
The Blefuscu navy was planning to invade Lilliput by sea. The distance
between the two countries is about three hundred metres by sea. All the
Blefuscu ships were ready, and they were sure they would be victorious in
the war. I told the Emperor of Lilliput that I had a plan of my own to help
him defeat the enemy. I waited until it was dark. Then I took some rope
with me, and walked into the sea that separated the two kingdoms. The
water was not deep.
While I was walking in the sea, I put on my glasses to protect my eyes
from the arrows of the enemy. I tied a piece of rope to each of the Blefuscu
ships. The Blefuscu sailors were terrified when they sawme. They jumped
into the sea, and swam away. I took the pieces of rope in my hands, and
pulled the Blefuscu navy towards Lilliput.
When the people of Lilliput saw the Blefuscu navy, they thought the
invasion had started. They were very frightened now!
Then they saw that I was pulling the ships, and they were happy. It was a
great victory for Lilliput, and the Emperor said I was a hero.
The Emperor of Lilliput asked me to go on with the war against Blefuscu,
I did not want to go on with the war, because I did not want lots of people to
be killed, The Emperor listened to what I said, but he was very angry with
me. Now he did not like me.
Some government ministers from Blefuscu came to Lilliput. I spoke to
them, and they invited me to visit their country, I thanked them for their
invitation, and I decided to ask the Emperor for permission to go there.
'The Blefuscu ministers have asked me to visit their country,' I told him,
'May I go there?'
The Emperor looked at me very coldly before he replied. Then he said, 'Of
course. You're free to go.'
I was surprised at the Emperor's coldness towards me, because I thought
we were good friends. Soon I had an opportunity to help him once again.
One night I was woken by a great noise in the city. Many people were
shouting and calling for me. Several of the government ministers came to me,
and they told me there was a fire in the palace, I ran to the palace, and I saw
flames everywhere, People were trying to extinguish the flames with buckets
of water - but the fire was a big one. It seemed that the whole palace would
Then I had an idea, I had drunk a large quantity of wine that evening, I
urinated over the palace, and extinguished the flames. This act saved the
palace from destruction. I was pleased at what I had done.
Then I remembered one of the most important laws of Lilliput. Urinating
in the palace grounds was a crime punished by death! I was now worried,
but the Emperor sent me a message, He said that he would order the court to
pardon me for my crime, I learnt later that the Empress hated me for what I
had done - she was very angry, and she decided never to return to the palace.