And Love Is Redefined

My alarm clock struck six and I stood up as usual. I made my callous effort to open my eyes and moved sluggishly to my window. I gazed out of the window. From the forehead of my seven storeyed building, I could sight the flowered Gulmohar trees heading high in lane. The royal tree and its umbrella shaped leaves bowed to the people passing by. The gratifying morning mist greeted me with love and compassion. The timid and timorous sun was trying hard to peep out amidst the fog and smog. I took a deep breath. Cool and gentle breeze swept around me with the most magnificent vibrant notes. The serene lustre of early morning fades in Delhi within an hour. Unlike Kerala which offers ravishing and untarnished gesture year round; Delhi seems to be merciless, which outpours pollution in extreme configuration.

My string of conversation with cosmos shattered as I heard my phone bell ringing. I swiftly moved towards the phone to hear some familiar voice. It was Shalini didi, my cousin sister. I was at my wit’s end.

“Yesterday only I came to know about your adventures.” Her soft and polite voice hit my deranged ears. She continued “Tell me your address. I shall come to pick you. Today is an off day for you right?”

My voice shivered as if I have lump in throat “Yes..” I was left with no option than to detail my address.

“I will reach there by 8 am. See you then.” Shalini didi hung the phone without waiting for my reply.

 It has been one month since I reached Delhi. Honestly I never had a plan to be here. After completion of my Masters, I was pursuing for a bank job which a typical Indian girl aspires for. From all point, I wanted to be on safer side financially and socially. My parents also wanted the same from me. But to my ill omen even after successive tries for three years, I couldn't hit the hard core. The queries of relatives and friends taunted me. Getting a job and becoming financially independent became a nightmare for me. Once I overheard my Amma whispering “We should think about Remya’s marriage. What about the proposal Krishna told about? Did you enquire? “

My father replied in a low voice “I thought we should give her some more time to ascertain her career”. My mother’s anguish knew no bound.

“She is already 26 and you are talking about more time” Amma murmered fiercely.

 I understood my father couldn't with stand the pressure of social stigmas for long. I cannot be granted more time for trial and error. If I stay here my marriage proposals will take erratic chaos and I will not be left with reasons to resist. My unfathomable grief of being an jinxed overwhelmed my esteem. I made up my mind to take up any job however menial it may be for the time being. Moreover I needed a change from the depressive and gloomy environment.

Without seeking anyone's consent, I applied for the job of an executive assistant in a multinational company with headquarters at Delhi. Within a week, I had an online interview and the board was impressed. I got appointed. But my decision to join and work at Delhi hit my home hard like a Tsunami. My parents wanted me to deject this job and they were seriously hunting an alliance for me. I was determined and stood hard like a tough rock. My amma’s tears, achan’s castigation nothing deterred my firm resolution. At last with welled eyes, I left my home without the blessings of my parents.

 I realised no one loves me. They wanted me to strive for something unaccomplishable and end up as a dutiful housewife. Neither my amma nor achan has called me since a month. At least to know where I am. Even my brother Deepu who was so close to my heart didn't turned up. My resentment overflew as tears. The job here was tough and it times embarrassing too. The climate, food, language and hectic job nature left me broken. I was struggling like orphan with no one to even enquire for goodwill. I sought the remnants of my broken confidence from within and stood stern. It was then when Shaili didi entered the scene unexpectedly.

Shalini didi is a pediatrician in a Medical Institute. Perhaps role model for being an ideal student, daughter,, wife, doctor, mother and what not. Her father is a renowned Businessman and her mother Seema aunty is a leading advocate of Kerala High Court. I have always heard them speaking high of their daughter’s laurel and accomplishments. How she stood state first in 12th standard, how wisely she secured 13th rank in all India medical entrance and all. I guess they were very proud parents to have such daughter to bestow upon. she was a gems of odds. Her life partner Ashok Bhaiya is a neurosurgeon in the same Medical Institute where she is working. He is also an empahetic and admirable personality. Now they are having a 6 year old daughter too.

 Shalini didi was very particular about time and came to pick me from my hostel on time. She seems to be unchanged in all the autumns that have passed out. Serene beauty which intensifies with her laughter. Slim, fascinating and charming as always. I felt envied. I was hesitant lest she asks me about my contention with parents, but she kept asking me about my job and friends.

“Where is Ashok bhaiya” I asked.

“He is having a conference at Bangkok. He will be back by next Sunday only”

We reached Shalini didi’s Villa. A perfectly square shaped Villa with patiently artified topiary and neatly maintained lawn.The right side oriented fruit trees grown in lane starting from guava, West Indian cherry, Jamun, sapota etc. she had maintained a small kitchen garden too. in the left side the gardening skills are deciphered, perhaps a Rock Garden. I entered the home and little Ammu came running and hugged me. I looked around. The home has been explicitly designed and artistically touched heaven. I heard a familiar voice from inside. a lady of late sixties appeared.

“ do you remember her?” Shaili didi asked. I couldn't recollect.

“This is Rohini maayi.” I remembered her who took care of Shalini didi when her parents were out for work during her childhood. I have seen her many times when I visited Shalini didi’s home. she is a distant relative of her father. perhaps a widow.

“ Rohini maayi is my mentor. I thought Ammu should also get such a guide, so she is with us only.” Didi explained.

The home smelled flauntingly with mouth-watering sambar and chutney. It has been a month since I tasted my favourite breakfast. I devoured them like elixir. Rohini maayi kept me serving more and more till my bowel nodded disagreement. I noticed that Ammu was reluctant to eat veggies like usual kids but she dared not get up once she saw the frosty nosed stare of Rohini maayi. The baby popped vegetables in her mouth as if eating poison.

 I stayed at their home for few hours. I was muddled seeing How Rohini maayi kept on scolding and redressing Ammu for silly things like not keeping toys in proper place, exceeding time limit for watching TV, not completing portions for exams and so on. the baby was ardoured by Rohini maayi extremely, and the baby too seems to be compassionate who obeys every command like a cat in front of a tigress. how could Rohini maaiy be so rude and ruthless to this little damsel. I couldn't resonate it.

 

after lunch Shaili didi proposed for a shopping. little Ammu also wanted to join but Rohini maayi dissented pointing out the allergic syndrome the baby is suffering from and her medication. Outing may aggravate her illness. I felt pity on baby ammu who was caged amids all fortunes.

 on the way to mall I thought for a moment and shooted my query “isn't Rohini maayi harsh on Ammu. She deserves a lot of affection.” Shalini didi didn't responded. just smiled as if I poked some joke. I felt awkward. after a moment only she spoke “you have seen your Seema aunty boasting high for the applaud her daughter brought. but you never know the entire effort, pain, inspiration and attribution of my victory goes to the unsung hero Rohini maayi. she taught me to dream, to be ambitious, to be dignified, to be considerate and to be positive. all the vibes you see in me are inculcated in me from my childhood by my maayi. ,there had been times when I was broken and shattered perhaps my parents do not even know what are physical and mental agony I had gone through. at my tender age she was my mentor and at my teenage she became my friend. I Too Had times when her scoldings made me feel wrecked. At your age of 25 love means hugs, kisses, promises, gifts, smile and compassion. but at my age of 35 i realise love is always unconditional. at times love means scoldings, disagreements, no’s. if you would have realised this truth you would never have done this to your parents.” Shaili didi made me burst into tears.

“I….I….” my words struck in my throat.

“My parents could have at least called me once.” I protested.

She ignored me “you need to change your perspective to understand the depth of their love. the very next day of your arrival at Delhi, your parents reached here. they met your office HR and get to know about your where about and stay. Your father took a long leave from his office and they hired a flat very next to your hostel, so that they can behold you atleast from a small distance. At late night, when you come back from office in your office cabs, you never know you achan waiting for you in the bus stop amidst all odds. He would follow you to your hostel to make sure you are safe. They are concerned because many a times, news headlines have added to their apprehensions. Your parents are gracious” Tears rolled down my cheeks in the shade of remorse and lowliness. I felt transfixed and my raspy breath turned uncontrollable. I mused about the benevolent and joyous moments of my family which I have pulveried in the tint of pride and ego. My assumptions need ratification. Before I beg sorry, I realised every perception and perspective is mutable. Love, the mighty and zealous spirit which conquers the universe, needs to be redefined.