I was going through a very dark phase of my life. The little energy I could save in this journey told me to walk further as I would experience something wonderful.
You know what ? The energy never lies. There are many insecurities, uncertainties, unknown anguish and fear haunting me. Something I'm not used to. Is it because of this dark phase ? May be.
My path is so dark that I'm unable to see anything around me. I'm walking like a blind with my arms stretched forward in my path. The path I'm walking on is like a dessert. Am I lucky enough to see the Oasis in this dessert ? An Oasis like hope ? Will I ?
My thoughts went on and as I blind walked a few meters further step by step, I saw a small opening through which the light entered. This light was not sufficient to see my entire journey but this light will help me to walk for some distance. I saw a little kid of around 3 years old. Why this toddler in this path ?
The kid was trying to figure out the black formation on the ground which looked exactly like him. When this kid moved, it moved. When this kid sat down, it shortened. This kid was so scared to see this black formation that he began to sob. Soon he began to cry a river. This little kid doesn't know that it's his own reflection formed due to the light. We call this black formation as Shadow.
I understand, this kid would have thought it as a ghost trying to scare / chase him. Isn't it silly ? This kid, inexperienced, immature lovely creature wouldn't have got scared if it knew that it was his shadow. His despair would come to an end and he would be happy again. I laughed, laughed , laughed hard after a long long time at this silly kid.
I heard someone chuckling louder than me at my back. I thought, again another traveler in my path ? I turned back. It was my shadow laughing at me. I looked at it with curiosity. Really ? My shadow can laugh at me ? Or am I having any hallucination because of my suffering ?
It called me. This call shook me. It said, "Maya, you are silly too." I have brain and it works. Does this shadow have any such organ ? I was angry and asked, " Why do you think I'm silly and why did you laugh at me ?"
It said, "Were you not laughing at that kid a little while ago ? "
"Yes, I was because it was silly. This kid didn't know that it was his own Shadow. He's too young to understand the concept of shadow and this kid began to cry. He's unaware of his shadow."
"What about you ? This little boy was unaware of the truth. At such a tender age, this little kid could not question this situation in his life. How can a little boy think practically ? He doesn't have knowledge, intelligence at this age. So, the kid was scared."
"Yes, I agree with you but what are you trying to tell me ?"
"Maya ! Are you not scared ? Don't you have insecurities, uncertainties in your working brain ? "
"Yes, but why are you comparing two different situations?"
"Mayaa.. how can you say that the situations are different ? The boy didn't know what it was. The boy didn't know how to think. The boy didn't have the knowledge or intelligence to understand the situation. On the other hand, you have all the knowledge, intelligence to understand your life situations but still, your so called 'working brain' is covered with the clouds of fear, anxiety and other negatively mixed emotions"
"So.. Mayaa.. try to understand the truth. Try to understand the reality, the situations of your life. Try to take only the lesson and not carry the negative emotions from any situation. We have to face worse situations. You need not get affected by its negativity. You need to continue the journey to know the truth, your strength, the reality.
Try to understand that you need to find the gold from the mud. You need to extract the diamond from its ore and polish it. Would you carry the mud after you extract the gold or diamond ? Would you ? Life is never easy. Is it not silly when you have the potential to fight but are anguish and distressed ? Is it not silly to feed your negative emotions when you can try harder to become conscious ? The mud is nothing but the negative emotions surrounding your gold / diamond like consciousness. Like your name, these insecurities are Maya. Why don't you take charge of your life ? You have the capacity to remove this darkness from your life. You can !!"
"Yes, the kid with his shadow and me with my uncertainties are no different. I'm just surrounded by the negativity because I'm unaware of the truth and my potential to fight back just like the kid who was scared on seeing his own Shadow."
"Yes! You got it now. Go! Tell the kid that it's his own Shadow and not any ghost."
I went to the kid and showed him my shadow. The kid became calm. We both played. The kid laughed, giggled and all his despair was gone.
I turned back in gratitude towards my shadow, "Thankyou! Will you be always with me ? To strengthen me when I'm lost ? Will you be there with me all long to see if I'm walking in the right path ? Will you guide me through this dark path, dark phase of my life ?"
"Maya! All is within you. Clear your mind. Become conscious. Then, you will become the light. Your intelligence can guide you in your dark phase. If you become the light, I'll always be behind you to support you. Always strive to be the best version of you. Carry the Gold/ diamond but not the mud. Remember this."
A talk with my own Shadow made me feel better. I'm gathering energy. This was the Oasis. I see everything dark ahead but I'm not despair this time. I'm content. I can become the light. I put my foot forward and began walking further.