Growing up without a dad wasn’t so bad.
I mean, you can’t miss what you never had.
It wasn’t until I got a little older
That I felt that soft tap on my shoulder.
That had me looking back on the past
Wondering where my dad was at.
I see my husband with our kids and I
Sometimes blink so that I won’t cry.
As I begin to realise
And start to ask why
I never had a dad to hold my hand
To show me what it’s like to trust a man
To walk me to school or yell at my games
I’m left incomplete without even his name
I see my daughters with their dad
And start to recognise what I never had
Wondering what he might be like
If his name is Tom, Bobby, Dennis or Mike
Do I look like him?
Would he recognise me?
I wonder if I have his eyes
Or maybe I have his teeth.
What would it have been like to have him around?
I wonder what he’d think of me now
I wonder if I’d make him proud
Would he tell me I’m beautiful and smart?
For his empty mantelpiece I’m his work of art?
Daddy I’ve missed you all these years
I’ve thought about you and shed some tears.
I wish I could have known you
Had you there to tell me what to do
Daddy I wish you were there to hold me
Keep me close, maybe console me.
I wish you had been there to protect me
Hug me kiss me and never reject me.
I know you didn’t know that I longed for you
And maybe you would have found me if you knew
I wonder how it feels to be held in daddy’s arms
Where I could feel safe and far from harm
To have you give me away on my wedding day
With all the words of wisdom I’d hear you say
I missed you on graduation day too
I looked into the stands but didn’t see you
I missed you when my children were born
I keep looking, waiting for you to walk through that door
But you didn’t come because you never knew
And Daddy, wherever you are – just know I love you.