Where The Monster Lives

I heard that voice again over the raging storm.

The hypnotizing words luring me towards them. Insulting and verbally abusing me. "Stop", I told myself, "Don't listen to them. Just ignore them the way you have been doing for the past three weeks." Since the day I turned thirteen.

But this time I just couldn't. I had to look for the source of the voice. It was driving me insane.

I did an extremely thorough sweep of my three-bedroom house, looking in every nook and corner for any unexpected visitors lurking around. I even checked the attic but returned unsuccessful.

There were only a few mice none of which were very friendly. One even tried to bite me.

My next step, like any other smart detective, was to ask around. I made the mistake of asking my mother who immediately called the hospital to book an appointment with a therapist for me.

All this while the storm raged on. The voice mingling with the sound of the clouds clashing. The feminine tone contrasting with the sound of the sky's tantrum.

All this detective work along with the abuses fatigued me and I sat myself down on the couch. Automatically, my mind went to the voice and all the instances where it had mocked me.

*2 weeks earlier*

My friends and I were sitting in our favourite fast-food joint, casually conversing and looking at the menu. I ordered a burger, some fries, a soda and a slice of cake which was my typical order.

Once the food arrived, I heard the voice again. On looking up, I was shocked to see my best friend Kanika mouthing the words.

"Should you really be eating this?", she sneered giving me a once over.

"I normally eat this", I choke out, stung at her choice of words. 

However, the voice didn't sound like hers – it was deeper and huskier. A week prior when I had gone shopping a similar incident had taken place. I was trying on clothes in front of the mirror when I heard it again. The clerk was talking in that deep, husky voice telling me to size up as I looked horrible in the dress.

Another occasion was my sister telling me to stop drawing as I was apparently a terrible artist.

Looking out of

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the window, I saw that the rain was letting up. And then out of nowhere, I saw something move. On looking closer, I realized it was a girl about my height. She was completely washed in black, so it was an impotent task to figure out who she was.

Her stark white eyes hypnotized me. Slowly she raised one of her hands and pointed right at my head. Suddenly a flash of lightning struck, and the girl disappeared. I stood there benumbed till my mother came.

"Raina, you've been acting weird all day. Go to your room and sleep", My mother said after seeing me looking out of the window in a trance.

I went to my room and lay on my bed. By now the rain had reduced to a drizzle. And then suddenly the voice increased its volume!

"You should lose some weight."

"Are you going to eat that all by yourself?"

"Don't you think you've wasted enough paper?"

"Are you sure you'll fit in that?"

"Isn't that a little too tight for you?"

"Shut up shut up shut up" I chanted with my hands on my head. But I noticed one striking thing. The voice was always female.

When I finally got sleep at 1 am, I was plagued with a vivid nightmare. In it, I was sleeping when I heard a low growl come from somewhere. I opened my eyes and looked around but saw nothing but pitch-black. An air of melancholy surrounded me. I felt drained. I heard the voice again, but this time it whispered just twelve words in my ear before the obsidian mass surrounding me entered my body through my forehead while my body writhed in agony. A big jerk followed and then I lay still. All this while the degrading remarks dripping with contempt echoed. Those demeaning words bouncing off the walls.

"The monster doesn't live under your bed; it lives in your head."

When I woke up the next morning, the only thing I could think of was those twelve words. Those twelve words that sent a shiver down my spine. What did those words mean and why did that creature enter my forehead? And what about that girl I saw?

After hours of pondering, it finally struck me- the voice was not coming from around me, it was coming from inside me, manipulating me and creating self-doubt within me.

It was always just the voice inside my head.