Till Death Do Us Apart

To my beloved,

“I'm sorry.”

Wasn't that how we started off? I'd accidentally bumped into you and spilled my hot coffee onto your frilly white blouse. You fell to the ground with your hair a mess and your bag clutched tightly in your fist. As I mumbled a frantic apology, you picked yourself up and dusted the dirt off your skirt. We both looked down at your newly coloured blouse. My facial expression, apologetic; whilst yours twisted into a scowl.

And yet, you ignored my existence and click clacked off with your black heels upon the ground. Had I turned into a ghost? It’s kind of ticked me off but… I was finally knocked out of the monotony I felt in my daily life. And I wanted to know if those lips that had situated themselves as a scowl could actually turn into a smile. But what I always wondered the most about, was if I would ever see you again.

A week passed and I did see you again. It was in the park. You were sitting on a dew-covered bench by the fountain with your face lost deeply in the book you held; your scowl was more prominent than ever. And maybe, meeting you there that day was fate or just blind luck and maybe it was stupid of me, but I felt happy that we did meet again. Was I weird for feeling this way?

And then something weirder happened. It was a good weird. Your eyes lit up and your lips curled themselves and you smiled. It was breathtaking. The little butterflies that were in my tummy raged around into fire breathing dragons and I fell in love. And I wondered, what was in that book that could make you smile like that? Could I ever do that? Could I make you smile like that every single day of our lives?

I did realise one thing that day. If I ever wanted a chance to be with you, I would have to gain the courage to strip my heart bare and show each and every one of my vulnerabilities to you, and you would have to do the same. So, I did something only an idiot in love would do. I bought another coffee, iced this time, and bumped into you again. Your fists clenched and you ground your teeth together looking at your newly wrecked rose-pink blouse. You probably hated me then, because you ignored my existence again and left the bench without saying a word.

I stood there disappointed and just as irritated. And maybe it was because third times the charm or maybe it was my charm, but it was the third time when we bumped into each other that you finally spoke to me. The fair was a beautiful place with its little rides, stalls, families, and couples. It was a time for happiness. So, why weren't you smiling? Why did your eyes glisten with sadness instead? Why did your heart look like it was more broken than it ever was before?

I preferred your scowl and furrowed eyebrows. I preferred your clenched fists and click-clacking heels on the ground. I preferred your messy hair and the look you had when you got lost in reading that book. That very same book that showed me your beautiful smile and bright soul. I'm guessing he never saw the same smile that I did. Why else would he have left you there alone? He was an idiot; an idiot I wanted to thank because when he treated you like trash and threw you out of his heart, I had finally found my most precious treasure.

I had bought another coffee and you furrowed your brows in confusion when I offered it to you. Your eyes had caution spelled in them as you took a step back whilst looking down at your pristine blouse. But I was happy because you accepted it. Well, it also made me a bit worried. I was still a stranger after all. But you laughed it off and I sighed in relief because I had just learned another thing about you. You had an amazing laugh. Was I the only one who noticed these things?

I drowned myself in your chocolate hues that night with fireworks lighting our way at the top of the Ferris wheel and with you finally smiling at me for the first time. And after so many years my heart still beats for you. It pounds so furiously hard in my chest that my running thoughts are drowned out and the only thing I can think about is you. The doctors say its high blood pressure because of my old age but maybe it's because every time I looked into your eyes; I was reminded of that night.

This was the very first letter I wrote to you and it's also the very last letter I'm writing to you and I can finally say the words that I've always wanted too. I can finally put into words how utterly and irrevocably in love with you I am.

Thank you for letting me love you till our very last breath, my dear heart.

Love

Yours Always