The Perfect Date

I stood in front of the mirror and tucked in my brand new red shirt loosely. My messy hair half-combed, rimless spectacles sitting snug on the tip of my nose; I practiced the art in the mirror: much like those tacky movie heroes trying to propose to their girlfriends. I knew I could never do all that. Yet, I planned.

A perfect café, it was, chandeliers half-lit, jute-dining sets adorned with terracotta richness, Madhubani art caressing the walls. I just needed to buckle up and speak, for once, looking into her eyes without being lost in them. Parthivi was unusually playful, frolicking and jovial. She was gracefully decked in a beige one-piece teamed with stilettos and diamond ear-pins. I couldn't take my eyes of her.

I finally spoke. For the first time in life, I was stammering. Pre-exam tension, stage fright, adrenalin rush, whichever affected me before, all galloped like the escaping horse of Lockinvar, to my dismay. I had to say this. "Listen Parthivi, we cannot give it any more time. It is not about the wait; but about the land that waits. Not that I have greener pastures, not that I think or feel any differently; but I cannot keep on ploughing barrenness within. I accept defeat for the first time; I accept that what I took for love was your kindness of not refusing my adoration for you. I accept that the pedestal on which I enshrined you made it difficult for you to chuck me off like a discarded vegetable. But, I cannot be pitied anymore. I cannot live with this uncertainty; neither do I want you to fumble with your choices. I never wanted to make life difficult for you, but unfortunately, I did.

I cannot see you fluctuating in compulsion; I give you the choice of free will. You wanted that? You wanted to live a secure life of monotony, where you might not have your freedom to choose but neither will you need to make a choice. You wanted certainty, decided destiny, nemesis. I had been a fool to extract the truth of happiness from within you; I failed to realize that you lack the courage to fight for it. It is difficult to be smart and brave together! We will surely keep in touch, the bond we share is ethereal, fortunate; but probably not what something that would give you peace. About me, I know not."

I stood up, I was already late, and my train was due in an hour. I knew I had to leave. She had to lose me now. She had to move on. Parthivi finally spoke, her eyes sparkling more than her ear-pins. I knew I could not save this drop; I had to let it fall.

Parthivi just said, "Come back soon." I knew I could never lie to her. I kept quiet. Bade her goodbye, hiding my desires to kiss her lips as always.

Running out of the café, I threw away the pouch where I had treasured the ring since school life. I knew nobody else would be the right choice. Nobody could be. I had to leave.

A perfect date indeed………I still live with its memories. My first and last date; till date.