The Monsoon
The Monsoon
Now how I feel to be the last person to understand how loneliness feels,
It was those days when I wake up early to see the sunrise and sleep on time, the time has changed I hardly get to see anything except for laptop screen, the deadlines, and trying to be polite to people who I report to,
I wonder if I ever will understand where I will end up; it seems everyone knows where they are going except me
I was late to work, the bus arrived late and I stood downstairs to have a smoke to get a respite from what I will see upstairs, while I was at, I saw someone lighting cigarettes’ I smiled casually
When I looked at her, her bright eyes and the shape of her lips just struck me, its usual to see a beautiful girl in a commercial building but sometimes you see someone and you can’t stop thinking about them,
I looked again she was gone
I hurried upstairs and called on the briefing for the day, the room was full various fragrances blew across the room since it was morning time everyone looked fresh except a few who did overtime,
Everyone was strewn, I saw a familiar face standing near to the window, her face glittered like an early sunrise,
I gawked at her and she understood this is the guy I should stay away from.
The meeting ended
She stepped in and stood in front of me folding her hands,
Her presence made me nervous, I got dumbstruck, I ran my dialogues in my head to tell her I am sorry for staring at her like that and it was unintentional she is just beautiful
She interjected
I am in your team; I looked around and calm myself
And ate my words and told her to follow me,
She was the new team member assigned in my team without my notice maybe my boss saw my burden of work.
While we peruse the work assigned to her I kept slipping into how beautiful she looked, the way she wore that light lipstick, and her perfume
The whole premise of she been assigned to feels like a controversy
Initially, it was difficult to dictate her, as she was repeatedly looking at me for a response,
But it became strictly professional and she turned out to be a normal employee,
I kept my distance from her and she didn’t reflect any signs of discomfort,
There were rumors that she is in an affair with me, which made us the water cooler topic of the office,
I and Shreya laughed at the hearsay but deep down I cried
Because I abhorred the idea that she and I are impossible
Sometimes when she is not looking, I quietly observed her, her small acts are so comforting, the way she keeps her desk and applies the light lipstick,
It turned out that I was falling in love with her
I remember it was a Friday evening and it was the month of July in Mumbai, heavy downpours clogged most areas and she resides in the harbor which is hard to commute.
Most of the employees decided they halt in the office until the rain recedes,
She looked nervous like a school kid who is waiting for her mom, who isn’t on time
Do you wish to go home, it’s dangerous out there, I explained in a grave tone
I can’t stay here, she said been perturbed
Anyone at home who doesn’t know you are not coming, I questioned?
Out of nervousness, she did not respond to me,
And called someone,
She kept walking helter-skelter,
I did not disturb her and went about attending to other colleagues at work
The rain became more torrents and now everything is closed, red alert announced
I couldn’t see her around,
And then came running from the washroom,
Her eyes looked grave and she mumbled something I want to go home, I can’t be here,
Her request was a sign that someone at her place needed help
But how can we step out we might die,
She realized I will not help so tapped her foot and veered towards the entrance
I stood there in silence, I let her go for my safety this mere realization I ran behind her.
The city was clogged, and there was panic all around- as I ran towards the water was about waist deep-
When she saw me she looked content I held her hand and ironically she did not shrug me off,
We finally reached the clear highway, I tried stopping trucks or any taxi which will drop to her house which was 6 km away there was no way we would reach there
But the incessant rain and uneasiness of the situation made me keep trying and she stood there across the road and smiling back at me,
A mini truck halted accepted our offer and kept staring at me for no reason
Shreya was repeatedly kept trying to reach her mom,
The impatience in her made me forget my house, no one called even to ask where I am i
The heavy downpour became denser, not it was a situation of a flood and somewhere I too panicked looking out
The driver dropped us without taking any money and said this is the time we should help each other
The tire screeched and he left
Upon her place, I saw it’s an old dilapidated building and there was no light
Shreya ran upstairs, I followed her – her house looked like it was closed and hardly taken care of
She kept calling her mom; the house reeked of piss,
Where is she?
Shreya kept searching for her mom and went inside the kitchen
My head ached, and it looked blurry
I collapsed on the floor the sound of the rain ebbed and nothing made sense
As I woke up, I saw a security guard watching me from close and holding a water bottle
Are you okay, are you drunk?
He kept hurling questions at me, an old man chewing tobacco and wore a saggy security guard dress
Who Shreya, you were from last 2 hours, I noticed when you ran upstairs I came here to smoke
Who are you?
The guard repeating questions and I was in a stupor in realizing what happened here
Who was here? Where did she go?
Taking his help I stood up on my feet and brushed all the mud
Saab, this is a haunting house- I don’t dare to come here at night, although I have been told to keep this place safe
But at night I hear crying voices from here
Let’s not stand here more let us go downstairs
He continued
Years ago one girl killed herself I don’t know her name some say she was poisoned and some she lost a job and killed herself
Her mother died after a week from her
The rumor is both of them stay together
My heart pounded with fear but my mind couldn’t believe
I stayed there in one of the lodges that night till the night the rain receded
The next day at work, HR department called me stating they need to speak to me
As I entered the room, the hr. manager and my manager seated together
I was wishing worse,
How you are feeling, he asked with a concerned face
I am alright please tell me
We have noticed and your colleagues that you have been heard speaking alone
And walk along like someone is there with you
We follow a strict mental health protocol
It’s a sign of mental breakdown please take a rest for a week and see a psychologist
We wish you well and come back soon
It’s been a year and now I don’t feel the fear, but somewhere I have this notion she wanted me to see something, somewhere in that flat she kept something
As I sat on my chair I saw her near the ladies washroom smiling at me