The Dark Love

"Do you fall in love only once in your life?" You asked while sipping the coffee from the mug that had your initials engraved at the bottom. "Or twice? " - you prompted. I drummed my fingertips along the rim of my mug, nonchalantly shrugging my shoulders. The glimmer of the stars shone across the window behind you, casting a soft glow on your face while you tried to hold back the words forming inside of your mouth.

"They say, such a thing like true love happens only once in your life. " - you continued. " You know, the kind of love that's unforgettable, and remains imperishably etched across your heart. The love that makes you dream of a future filled with togetherness without even closing your eyes. The love that makes you halt in whatever you're doing only to seek home in that one person. The kind of love that makes every nerve of your mind to twist and turn before riveting your thoughts on that one person..

You know, the love that enlivens the hidden butterflies dwelling in the pits of your stomach and cause them to flutter every time that one person takes your name. The one that makes your air passages intertwine, depriving you of the air you need every time that one person smiles only because of you. The one that causes your heart to thud a bit more violently against your ribs every time that one person makes the proclamations of love to you.

The kind of love that makes you fall in love with every single thing that one person likes or adores. The one that fills you with warmth every time when you're engulfed in the confines of the arms of that one person. The love that holds your hand tightly, rubbing slow soothing circles on your palms and pulls you through every storm and hurricane of your life. The one, that brings the capability out of you to love that one person, unconditionally and utterly from the deepest bottoms of your soul; They say, that kind of love, as honest as a mirror, happens to cross the threshold of your life only once, only once."

A faint smile erupted on your lips, as you wandered in those lanes of memories of that kind of love; the one that happens maybe only once in a lifetime. I brought the cold rim of the mug to my mouth, shivering from the slight chill of it when I glanced at the sky.

A storm was coming, my gaze ran across the blackness of the sky, amazed how it was forming into the shade that depicted my kind of love. The clouds were rolling and rumbling, turning the once starry sky into a dark canvas on which I could see the reflection of the kind of love that I know...

Rubbing my palms, I brought my knees together, slightly brushing against your ankles while doing so; another shiver coursed through me, realizing the slight proximity of us. "But what's that when you fall in love with that one person over, again and again, every day, every night, every second of the time you find yourself breathing alive? " - I pondered aloud.

"You know, the kind of love that shakes you from inside with trepidation and also shields you from your own demons, without actually being with you. The love, that stares you right in your eyes and fills them with countless dreams that you know would never be realized. The one, that leaves your hand amid of the storms and gales so that you could find your own way out of them, on your own merit. The kind of love, that becomes the source of air that your lungs need when they're too debilitated to suck air in. The one, that fills every nook of your heart with the ability to beat, continuously and tirelessly.

The kind of love, that pushes you to stand up without wobbling or wavering under the weight of life. The love, that builds you after piercing every inch of your body with its thorns and bleeding you with the shards of memories that it left behind. The one that incorporates strength in every fiber of your being after forsaking you in those cold, bleak nights filled with wails and whines, only to fight for your own warmth. The one, that teaches you an invaluable lesson of your life, a worthy lesson to not love with your everything until you're left with nothing but numbness and hollowness residing in every depth of your soul. The love, that makes you valiant and dauntless only after leaving you all defenseless and hopeless in its aftermath of perpetual darkness.

Does the love of this kind happen only once?" -I asked.

"Or does it happen to cross the threshold of your life every time you see yourself in the mirror? Does it happen every time when you breathe and survive through another day of your life with a ceaseless darkness that keeps protruding from the corners of your empty soul? Does it happen every time when life pushes you down but you defeat it right at its face? Does it happen every time your heart slows down in beating, every time your inner chaos tries to strangle and choke the soul out of you? Does it happen every time when the memories of your past come to twist a dagger right in the center of your heart? Does it happen every time when you come across the truth of that unrequited love, that one person who shattered you yet morphed you into the person you've become today? " - my mind screamed, but the words never came out of my mouth.

A peaceful silence stretch on, a shade of confusion and dubiety drawn across your face. A sudden bolt of thunder shook me from inside, bringing me back to the truth of my unrequited love, making me stand across the truth of us, the truth of you - the truth that you would never be mind, because you wouldn't be able to bear this dark side of love, that now resides in every inch of my soul. You only deserve the happy one, the all vibrant and dandy kind of love - not the dark, cold and numbing one.

"The storm is almost on its way, I should get going now.. " you mumbled while throwing the mug into the sink. I smiled and draped my arms around you. "Did you feel the warmth soaking up your insides? " - my mind questioned, while my heart knew that you didn't.

"Good night.. " I whispered as you rolled down the window of your car and flashed me the smile, causing my heart to thud a bit all of sudden; and all I could do was to stand by the door, watching the unrequited love of my life, the love of my kind leaving me amid the approaching storm, to fend for myself while I beheld from falling in love with you, again.