The Boy Who Doesn't Live Next To Me

The soft pattering of the rain against the windowpane had subsided, leaving the traces of its existence as the tiny droplets on the glass. The room was cold, the bedsheets felt damp, a tumultuous silence had kept me captivated as I dreaded facing the window that gave the view of living another day. Another day, another twenty-four hours- fighting and surviving through nothing but the ghastful chaos of my insides.

I reached out to grab the device lying across the bed, and there it was - my savior resting vividly on the blank screensaver of my phone. There it was, the reason that had me swimming through every ocean of the chaos that dwelled inside of me - the text from the boy who doesn't live next to me, but lives in my heart. "Get up you sleepyhead. " - the text said to me, imparting the strength to face the sunlight sneaking into my eyes through the window.

I walked through the morning bustle, weaving my own path into the cafe amid the millions living for a purpose. The chatters and rattles dissolving somewhere in the background, as the chaos began to gnaw at my insides and causing my mind to let go of whatever shards of peace it had found earlier. The sudden joggle of my phone saved me from the claws of my demons, and there it was, the anchor of my sinking soul - the call from the boy who doesn't live next to me but lives in my heart. "We'll be meeting in ten minutes. " The voice said to me, lulling the chaos back to slumber in the depths of my mind.

I paced around the empty hall, staring hard at the clock. My insides felt clammy, my soul felt parched, the shadow of loneliness was creeping its way back to my soul - when the doorbell rang, and there he was, wearing the smile that filled every chamber of my heart with the power to beat. He draped his arms around me, lifting the pile of dread, disappointments and hopelessness off my soul. He held my hand in his, causing the lurking shadow of loneliness to vanish. He babbled a string of words, at times with laughter, at times with annoyance, and all of a sudden the weight of the life went easy on me, erasing the existence of the chaos breathing inside of me bit by bit for the rest of the day.

I pulled the duvet over me, staring at the ceiling as the sun sank somewhere behind those bushes that were visible from the window of my room. The abrupt plink of my phone caused a smile to erupt on my lips- the notifications of him, tagging me in memes. My insides felt at ease, acknowledging that despite being alone and defenseless in the storms of my life, there was someone rescuing me every time I fell weak on my knees or faltered in my steps while fighting my way out of the storms. And that someone was the boy who doesn't live next to me, but lives in my heart.

Darkness blanketed me, crawling it's way back into the empty pits of my soul, as I tried to slip back into the dungeon of slumber without succumbing to the chaos now storming inside of me. The night stretched on, spreading its darkness in every fibre of my being, resuscitating every dread, every disappointment, every devastating snippet of my life. The claws of my inner chaos tightened around my throat, snatching my share of the air; but then something brought me back to the surface of positivity, strength, and willpower that laid under every uproar of one's life- a single goodnight text from him. "Keep swimming, my love. " - the text screamed, scaring the darkness away, causing it to hide back in the forbidden and secluded nook of my mind.

And again, life wasn't hard on me. And again, fighting and surviving through another twenty-four hours felt worthwhile. And again, it felt peaceful to close my lids with a smile, and breathing silent thanks to the universe with folded hands for keeping that boy in my life, through my thick and thin. Perhaps, that's why I love him, I adore him- for he's my sole anchor to my sinking soul in the ocean of the chaos that still resided inside me; for he's the boy who doesn't live next to me, but lives in my heart.