Surrender To Love!

What is love? This question is really famous when it comes to the person who has not experienced it yet. Is love always like red hearts and rainbow unicorns? 

Just like life, love also being one of its parts, has hardships and failure, some have experienced it and some have not. For every person on this planet, the definition of love varies. Love can be of various types- cuddle, possessive, aggressive, lovey-dovey, cliché, etc, but sometimes we forget love can also be different from this. Love can be far apart from all these concepts too.

                                                              ~

I waved at her, and she waved back. The ‘Lata building’, not more than four floors, consisted of various types of people, from small children to old people to bachelors like me. Being 28, and still a bachelor is what bothers everyone apart from me, where my mom is telling me to get married soon, my dad is kind of chilled about it, but what was the reason for not marrying someone lies in front of me.

She ran towards me, her long hair fluttering behind her back, and her skirt swinging in the wind. Her top hugging every curve of her torso, and her beautiful skin glowing in the moon’s light, my gaze not leaving her, as every moment stood still. My heart jumped out of my chest, while I continuously patted it and said, ‘All is well! All is well!’, the butterflies in my stomach now trying to escape the stomach making it more ticklish.

Everything collapsed, when a hand touched my shoulder, “What the heck Rahul! You scared me!” I said while taking a huge breath.

Rahul started giggling, and slapped my back, “such a pussycat, Varun!” and started laughing again.

“What happened?” Sia said in her soft squeaky voice. I kept staring at her, but not being called a freak, I looked at Rahul and started laughing with him.

“Tell me no, what happened?” Sia’s tantrum made me want to say ‘awe’ really loud but I controlled myself. Rahul immediately took the cue, “well we were just talking about you!” Sia blushed, “oh! What were you talking about me?”

“That you are like a sloth, coming slow and late every day!” I said, Rahul started laughing, I could see Sia controlling her laughter, scrunching her nose and bringing her brows together to show that she was angry.

“Come on now, let’s go! Or we will be late again” Sia said. We booked a cab and waited for it.

 Rahul was on phone talking to someone, whereas Sia was reading a book. She looked at me and smiled, now there were birds along with butterflies in my stomach, and made it more difficult for me too, I clenched my stomach, and smiled back at her.

The cab arrived, saving me from further embarrassment. I hopped in, and sat on the driver’s seat, as much I want to sit beside her, I want to give her some personal space. After two hours, we arrived at the office, which was buzzing with workaholic people, well, we too were one of them. We got out of the cab and rushed to the front gate, I looked at my watch, “It's dot 11 guys” I shouted. We increased our speed, and there he stood, our giant boss, we never saw him as a boss, but as a ‘Khalnayak’.

“You are 5 minutes late!” we all stood silently, the ringing of phones echoed across the office, it was not something unusual or new if you standing in a call center office.

‘Sir we-” Rahul tried to make an excuse, “SILENCE!” the Khalnayak shouted. Everyone from the office started looking at us now. Wow now, this moment was something that reminded me of school.

“You find something funny, MR. VARUN?” he shouted my name. I nodded my head. Sai took a step, “sir, we are extremely sorry, the cab was actually a bit late, so we-”.

He explained to us how we were so irresponsible and to come on time the next day or he will remove us.

Sai turned back and gave us a cheeky smile. Oh no! Here it goes again!

~

“So you still haven’t confessed to her?” Puneet asked crevices on his forehead. Apart from Rahul and Sai, Punnet was my only friend in the call center.

Sitting beside me, he handed me a cup of coffee. I took it and the warm cocoa hit my throat calming everything down in my body. “I want to take it slow” I replied. He scoffed, “slow? I am damn sure someone will take her away soon, not to mention I doubt your friend Rahul” I looked at him, the despise in his voice for Rahul, indicated that he still hated Rahul. There was a huge fight between them, and being a common friend between them, it was difficult for me to cope with both of their fights. But both of them being my best friends, I try to stay with both of them as much as I can.

But what Punnet was saying was not wrong, I could sense Rahul too having a crush on her. Well, just like how a woman has an instinct even men have something similar like that, but it was not as strong as a female.

I could see Rahul bringing coffee for Sai from the corner of my eyes while talking on the phone. I tried not to show my jealousy in front of Punnet, but yes I was jealous, but the thing is I couldn’t do anything. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

 A soft hand touched my shoulder, I turned my head back at once, and I was so familiar with this touch that I knew whose touch this was! Sai stood there, paper in her hands and smiling sheepishly. A strand of hair fell in front of her face covering her beautiful light brown eyes. I wanted to put it back, but I was not in the position to do that yet, she pushed the strand behind and leaned forward.

 I gasped. She was just inches apart from me. She explained what she wanted to do while pointing at the computer but I was not able to get anything as I was continuously staring at her lips, which was coated with red lipstick, a sensation for every Indian boy.

“So can you do it?” Sai asked. I looked at her confusedly and then at the computer, I didn’t know what happened, but I nodded in affirmation. She smiled and said thank you, and hopped away. I looked at Punnet, and he lip-synched something, I knew what he said and I deserve it – “you are hopeless!”

~

I got up for a minute to take a break. Punnet raised his one eyebrow questioning me where I was going at this hectic working hour, I said hurriedly, “Nature’s call!” He sighed.

I rushed to the bathroom, and before I could open the door to the men’s washroom, I stopped abruptly, someone was murmuring really intensely and loudly. I didn’t want to eavesdrop but I can’t help it, the voices sounded too familiar to me,

“Why did you drag me here, this is the men’s washroom!” a voice said

“I wanted to talk to you about something” another voice responded

“We could have talked somewhere else, why here” the voice answered back

Another voice started stuttering, “well-its, uhm, because, I wanted some alone time with you, ahmm, just you and me, I don’t want anyone else, not even Varun”

The mention of my name startled me. My brain started to narrow down the names automatically, and the result was scaring me – was it, Rahul and Sia? What was Rahul going to say?

“What?” Sia was confused, “why didn’t you want Varun?”

Rahul now frustrated, “Just get a hint, Sia!”

Sia was not answering anything now.

Rahul took a deep sigh, “I LIKE YOU! There I said it”

My chest began to ache, I wanted to dash through the door and stop all this, I wanted to freaking ruin their moment, but something stopped me, a force far stronger than my desire kept my feet steady on the floor, and I can tell you it was something else than friction force. 

Sia was speechless.

Rahul responded, “well, I thought you liked Varun, and Varun liked you back, Sia I was so bloody confused, and I wanted you all by myself, it used to make my blood boil whenever you giggled at his jokes or talked with him flirty, but I didn’t do and say anything because- because he is my best friend”

“Exactly!” Sai said, “What do you think might happen if I said yes to you, what would happen to your friendship – our friendship, I can’t deny it, but yes I do like you too, but for Varun-“

“-For Varun” Rahul replied with disappointment in his voice.

I rushed back to my seat, tears rolling down my eyes. Everything was hazy, the computer’s screen, Punneet’s worried voice, my thoughts! I was having mixed emotions, should be happy that they were not a couple now or should I be sad? Is it ok to be selfish and confess my love to her now? Or should I just act as if nothing happened?

Punnet passed me a tissue paper, and I readily took it. “Are you ok? What happened-” Punnet started questioning.

All of a sudden a spark happened inside my head. I knew what I had to do. I knew what I wanted to do. It’s ok however I feel, I will deal with the consequences, it doesn’t matter what will happen in the future, but my present- I will make my present good!

By the time I was formulating my thoughts they both were back at their seat. I shouted, “Sia, can you with me for a bit?” everybody was confused. I clenched her hand started dragging her. I don’t know what I was doing, but at that time it was the most right thing to do.

I mustered up the courage and said, “Sia, I-”

~

It has been a month since that incident, everything was now back to normal, but as you know life is just like a roller coaster, it was kind of amazing to see and feel the ups and downs of it.

“Varun!” Sia shouted from distance. There she comes again, wind flowing diaphanously behind her and butterflies following her sweet smell, I can never forget this feeling. I smiled and opened my arms wide open, she hugged me tightly and I hugged her back. I tickled her back and she started giggling.

She took something from her purse and shoved it into my hand, “do you like the design or should I change it?” It was perfect, the embroidery, the design, the colour, the lettering, and even the names – ‘RAHUL WEDS SIA’

Sometimes giving up is also love, sometimes sacrificing something for else happiness is also love. Love doesn’t have a constricted boundary, it’s a parallel endless dimension, where one gets lost and is never able to come back, but stay in love forever!