School And Love

NEW PLACE

High school In India is not as we see in Western world movies; it comes with a sense of challenge followed by a bag of pressure on pretty minds. I never knew what stress was until I took admission at Saint PS junior high school, Ramprastha. But there was someone that made me cope up with those days. She was Jasmin, her mere existence in this world made me fly like a bird, and my head felt as light as a feather whenever I saw her. Was it her beauty or her ways of doing things? 

I had no idea, But one thing I knew was that I felt something like that for the first time in my life. And I wanted that feeling to stay with me. I wished for her to stay with me forever.

Our family had just moved to Ghaziabad, a district of Uttar Pradesh. My dad always said it was in the NCR region. In my childhood, I never had a curiosity to enquire into things. So I never asked why it was called the NCR region. Jaipur was a much better place. It was less crowded. I was missing my days when we used to play football in the Jaipur university ground. It was a beautiful place, an aesthetic view of the Aravali hills. The backside of the university did not have a wall, just a fence to stop the animals from the low ranges of the mountains from entering the campus. The feet of the Mountain used to be our bench, and for some, it was a dating spot, picnic spot, and everyone must have some memory of that place if ever someone visited it before. If I define it in feelings, It was heaven. Okay!! Let us come back to NCR that is the abbreviation of National Capital Region. It is a planning region that aims to promote economic growth and development of districts from UP, Haryana, and Rajasthan that encircles the NCT of Delhi. And NCR sounds better than UP. It was a crowded place and the air smelled of the refined and processed fossil burnt by the vehicles. These various kinds of pollution are a byproduct of development. I missed the fresh air. We rented a LIG flat In the Ramprastha colony located just along the Delhi-UP border. There was a park at the center of the Rectangularly arranged houses. This park was an escape from my Jaipur memories. Even the best of memories can make us sad when we want them back.

I had completed my 9th standard at Jaipur, so my admission to a school was the utmost priority. So within a few weeks, I got admission into Saint PS junior high school. It was within walking distance from our house. Life sucks when we do nothing. I was eager to go to school. 

FIRST SIGHT

7th May 2010: It was 6 AM; I woke up earlier than the alarm. I never wake up that early unless I have a football match. But that day was my first day at high school. I was damn excited as I watched a movie, "High school musical." I was not expecting our school to be exactly similar but something like that. The school was at 8 AM, So I had 2 hours. I switched on the TV and started changing the channel. I suddenly stopped switching when I heard the name Ajmal Kasab.

 

AZAD News: The special anti-terror court sentenced the death penalty to Ajmal Kasab on 6th May. He is guilty of 80 offenses, including murder, waging war against India, possessing explosives, and other charges. He is one of the terrorists who was involved in the Mumbai terror attacks.................................................... After a while, I switched the channel. I preferred 'Captain Planet' an animated series on the channel cartoon network. 

Mom and dad entered the room. They always wake up early in the morning, go for a walk and do yoga every day. I turned off the TV and went to get ready for school. Although I prefer going alone, my dad did not listen. He explained that He had to submit some documents to the Principal.

We reached school at 7:30 AM. We entered the school, opened the reception gate. A lady of about 35 years of age was standing behind the desk. My dad enquired the receptionist about the Principal's cabin. The receptionist guided him to the office. Dad went into the office while I waited for him in the waiting area. The Lady at the reception was beautiful. I liked her lips that were shining. I was looking at her. She looked at me and asked me to stand. My face went pale when she started talking to me. Without listening to what she had said, I replied, 'Yes! madam.'

Madam: What is your name?

Me: I am Rahul Kumar! Ma'am.

Madam: So Rahul Kumar, tell me, are you giving CBSE boards next year?

Me: Yes! Madam.

Then she started asking questions on mathematical formulas. I had no clue what she was asking. 

Meanwhile, a girl came to the reception and asked for a box of chalk. [Yes, you got it. It was Jasmine. I saw her for the first time. I looked at her. I had never seen someone like her. She looked skinny wheatish complexion and her chin slightly longer, her nose was a bit parrot beak-like, and she had tiny hairs above the upper lip area. Her large eyes gave a sense of warmth and made her face look innocent and charming. It was like her eyes overtook every other feature of her face. Those eyes were some sorcery. I felt something for her. It was different from what I felt for other girls. Something inexplicable, as if the butterflies were migrating from my stomach to my chest. 

She took the box and started walking towards the corridor. Madam asked her to wait.

  

Madam: Jasmine, please answer these questions. What is the value of cot 60?

Jasmin: It is one upon root three. Ma'am. 

Madam: This is the answer. You are not a studious boy. How are you planning to pass the Board exams?

 I was unable to utter a word and felt ashamed. But I did not show it on my face, yet that day I felt the pressure. These two words Board-exam itself were heavy enough to weigh me down.

Suddenly the telephone rang. Madam received it, after saying yes Ma'am several times she hung the phone. She looked at the Register and commanded both of us to proceed to the Principal's office. 

We went inside the office. Madam Principal asked me to give an intro in English. She asked me five questions, and I was blank and covered with sweat. And I could see my dad's face covered with mixed emotions of anger, disappointment, and shame. By the way, Jasmine answered every single question. 

Ma'am: You must know at least something!! Do you read the newspaper? Okay, tell me what was in the news yesterday?

Me: Ajmal Kasab got a death sentence in case of the Mumbai terror attacks. 

I explained everything I heard on the TV.

I could see the disappointment disappearing from Dad's face.

I was more concerned about what the girl standing next to me was thinking. It was the teen blood that cared more about what an unknown girl thinks of him than his father.

Madam Principal asked Jasmine to guide me to my class. So we walked out of the office. She started asking questions about what happened during the 26/11 Mumbai attacks. I told her everything I had watched on the news. I boasted that I read the newspaper daily and I played football. Then she started talking about subjects that I had chosen. I had chosen commerce while she was a science student. But we had two lectures in common, Mathematics and Computer science. It was my lucky day. The 1st lecture was mathematics.

We entered the classroom. The first bench of the first row was vacant. Although there were more empty seats, I still wanted to sit with Jasmine. Then the bell rang. TRINGGGGGGG!!!!! It pierced through my ears. It was so irritating. The teacher entered the class. Everyone stood up and greeted the teacher in a symphony, "GOODAMOOOOOORNINGGG SIR" it was as if we were singing in chorus to praise the teacher, to go easy on our pretty minds, and fragile hearts. He gave us a piece of paper and ordered us to complete the questions. While Jasmine was busy in her notebook, I noticed that a boy sitting on the second last bench was staring at her. 

Me: Jasmin!!! The specs boy is staring at you.

Jasmin: Really? Let him. He is not saying anything to you, is he!! by the way, why are you looking at him?

Me: These types of people are psychos. 

Jasmin: He is not a psycho! His name is Ritik. 

Me: Is he your friend? Do you talk to him? 

Jasmin: No! I do not talk to him, But I know him. He Plays Kho-Kho for the school team, and I think he is the best player on the school team. 

Me: That is interesting. Even I play Kho-Kho, and I play football as well.

Jasmin: Too bad! We do not have a football team, but the management has decided to Include football in the curriculum activities by next year. Till then you have to wait to show your skills.

The bell Rang again, Piercing through my eardrums. It was so damn irritating, And the worst thing was I had to go to another class as we only have two lectures in Common, computer science, and mathematics. Only maths and computer classes were combined, for science and commerce students.

I started to like her from the first day at the reception. I have that memory engraved in my heart. And older memories tend to have more value than new ones. That is why everyone treasures the first-ever moment of a person they love. I can say that because I have revived that first-ever moment with her more than any other moment I will ever spend with her. 

I was happy that day. I went home wearing a big curvy smile. My mother asked me how everything had been in school. I told her about the school, the teachers, and the scene at the Principal's office, how 15 minutes of news helped me save my family name in front of Madam Principal. I told her everything except about Jasmin. I did not talk to my Mom and Dad. I just replied to whatever they asked me. And I avoid conversations on liking girls, or feelings, Love, etc. I do not know why. It has just been like that since I have known of my existence. Maybe it is because our culture pronounces this gap between parents and children. We never actually read these things, And neither are we taught. It gets engraved on our subconscious mind. And it follows from generation to generation. But I have to say that technology, TV, globalization, etc. have penetrated these cultural drawbacks by creating a bridge between the parents and children. 

So, from that day onwards, I had decided to watch the news every morning. It is a natural human tendency to find motivation from the opposite sex. It applies to most of the organisms living on earth. The only difference for homo sapiens is that we have a conscious brain and a thorax brimming with feelings. So we have lots more to motivate ourselves for, rather than just teenage Love. 

NEW FRIENDS

7th July 2010: Two months passed since I joined Saint PS Junior High school. I had made new friends and forgotten about the old ones from Jaipur; Ritik, Kush, Pihu, and Pawas were the people I connected well with. 

Ritik was dark in complexion, skinny, and wore glasses. His spectacles made his eyes look tiny compared to his face. And you never see him chatting and boasting around. He was an introvert. He was the best runner on our team; I had started talking the next day I saw him staring at Jasmin. I asked him why he kept staring at Jasmin and told him how Jasmin thinks he was a psycho. He always said that he just liked her and had no bad intentions. I never had positive vibes for him, but later we became friends when I realized he would never talk to Jasmin.

Ritik, Pihu, Kush, and Pawas always sat together. I rarely saw them apart during lectures. Pihu was the only girl that Ritik talked to; I never saw him talking to any other girls. Pihu had a fair complexion, big brown eyes, and Yaeba Japanese teeth that made her look unique. She maintained a Blog. She wrote all sorts of things on her blog. I liked reading what she wrote. The first day I noticed her, she was with Jasmin, Nikarika, and some other Girls; playing truth or dare. 

Kush had a well-built physique and green eyes. Everyone called him the green lantern. He was the captain of the Kho-kho team; This guy was someone with whom any girl would want to be. He was good at dancing, he played chess, and he played the guitar. He seemed so perfect. The best thing was that Jasmin called him her brother. 

And Pawas, who had a wheatish complexion, was slightly obese and had hanging cheeks, due to which he always seemed lazy. He was the politest guy I ever met. He talked slowly, and we called him the bag of depression because he always looked as if he was sad. There were other people as well, but these were the mains. 

I started playing for the kho-kho team. Later I started playing as the captain of the kho-kho team since kush was injured. The coach said I have good leadership qualities, so he offered me to continue as the captain for that year. Everything was going perfectly. They were the happiest moments of my teenage years.

Jasmin and I were bonding well. We talked about everything and anything. She told me about how she had had a crush on a teacher in class 9th, and how she hates the maths teacher while loves the biology madam. She was a studious girl. She always praised her father as he was a retired Air Force officer.

She was my favorite girl. I had no idea If this was Love, But one thing I knew was that I felt something like that for the first time in my life. I wanted that feeling to stay with me; I wished for her to stay with me forever, not merely as a friend but as a Lover. I desired to touch her, explore and feel her body and kiss her. My heart was satisfied, but my brain was craving for more. So I decided to tell her about my feelings for her.

THE PROPOSAL

8th July 2010: I decided to talk to her during computer class. It was the 3rd lecture; I was seated to the left of Jasmin. I was afraid that day; My heartbeat was out of rhythm. I could hear it below my ears and feel it vibrating outside my Rib cage to my checked shirt. I told her that I needed to talk and started writing on little pieces of paper torn out from the back of my notebook. 

Me: Hi! Why not write notes to each other. 

Jasmin: No! I am working on my computer! Can you not see! 

Me: Please! Just this once. 

Jasmine: Okay! You write notes, But I will not reply.

Me: Come on! Please do not ruin this. I need to talk now. 

Jasmin: Okay! Go on.

I took out the little paper notes from the notebook.

Me: Hello! Do you remember the first day we met?

Jasmin: hmmm! Yes, I do remember that day. Why?

Me: I started liking you from the first moment I saw you. When you entered the reception; and asked Madam for a box of chalk.

Jasmin: OKAY! So? (making a weird face at me) 

Me: Now we are good friends. And I feel something special for you; To me, it is Love I think. I love you, Jasmin.

She gave the note back to me and started talking in a low tone. She looked in shock and a little bit of anger.

Jasmin: What is wrong with you? We are good friends! Why do you have to say this and ruin what we have! 

Me: Alright! Just listen to me, please.

Jasmin: You know we are good friends, and I only like you as a friend. I never had any such feelings. 

I thought the conversation was not going on as planned, so I decided to change my stance.

Me: Okay! Relax. These are my feelings for you, And this does not mean that you have to feel the same. 

Jasmin: Okay! Make sure you don’t annoy me like this in the future. We are friends and will remain so. 

I got a little pissed that day because I thought she loved me as well. I did agree with her to stay as a friend. But, my little heart did not agree with that, So I had to keep trying. 

After some days, she told me that she likes Ritik! I was vexed and angry; You cannot fall in Love merely by looking at someone. That was the most perplexing and indignant moment of my life. That was something limited to Bollywood movies. Later in December that year, she asked me to convey a message to Ritik to meet her after school. That day I gave an assurance to Jasmine that I would help you guys meet. So when I met Ritik at the canteen that day, I lied to him that Jasmin had accepted my proposal. I told him that we have been dating since last week. 

So, the next day when I saw Jasmin, she looked sad. She narrated how Ritik just went past her without talking to her. I lied to her as well. I said that Pihu has been dating Ritik and was not interested in her anymore. I did all this because I wanted her to be mine. I did not want anyone to even talk to her except me. 

That day I realized I was becoming someone I had never been. I was becoming shrewd and evil. I was never such a guy. But as long as I was with Jasmin, I did not care what I did. I just wanted Jasmin to love me one way or another.

PAAN PETHA

7th April 2011: CBSE board result was out. I got 63 percent. I was happy that day because I did not think I would pass in Mathematics. My Mom and Dad were happy, but I could not find that satisfaction on their faces. My dad asked me to get some sweets from the AZAD Restaurant. I went down, took my bicycle, and reached the AZAD Restaurant. It was a fancy place; I liked the theme. It looked like an antique book shop clubbed together with a restaurant; the Interior made of wood. Paintings on the wall and books on the shelf. I liked that place. I, Jasmin, Pawas, Kush, Pihu, and Ritik had already decided to meet there on the next day, 8th April 2011. But I was in for a surprise the day before.

Meanwhile, I reached the AZAD Restaurant to get my favorite sweet, Paan petha. I entered the restaurant; I ordered the sweets and stood there. I turned around to look at the paintings. I saw Ritik, Pihu, Pawas, and Jasmin; I was surprised to see them. I was confused. I walked up to them.

Me: Jasmin! What are you guys doing here? I thought we were meeting tomorrow. 

Pawas: Yes! We are supposed to meet tomorrow. But today We are on a date.

Me: What! What date?

Jasmin: I did not tell you. Pawas and I are in a Relationship. He proposed to me last month after the final exam. You went early that day.

Ritik: Pihu and I are a couple now. I will tell you our story tomorrow.

Jasmin: I already knew about you two. Rahul told me a long time ago. 

Ritik: Join us. We have ordered your favorite dish. Pasta!

I felt Numb and cold. It was a gloomy day. That day I learned that we can only control our emotions and actions; we can never trick someone to love us back. We can only love and expect nothing back. That is the best way. 

The man called me from behind, "Sir! your Paan petha is ready."

Me: Okay! guys; Enjoy your meal. I will meet you guys tomorrow.