Relationship

The Dying of a Relationship : A True Incident

By Aditya Praveen

I was in class two when I got the news of my new born sister. It was 9^th July, 2003. Everybody in our house was happy after listening the news. I jumped in and over the house. I told my father to take me to hospital so that I can see my sister. When we reached the hospital,

“Bitu, here hold your sister,” my mother said softly.

“Maa, what is her name?”

“You name her.”

“Seemran”

“Oh! Nice name. What will be her nick name?”

“Guddu”

“Good name indeed. How are feeling while holding your sister”

“I am feeling like heaven, Maa.” I said.

Maa took her back into her arms and kissed her on her forehead. I was happy to see that. I went home.

 

“How is your younger sister looking? What did you name her?” My grandmother asked.

“She is very cute mama (referred to my grandmother). I instantly fell in love with her after seeing her. I named her Guddu. She will be called Seemran by her friends. Aren’t the names lovely?”

“Yes. Very lovely names.” My grandmother was very happy. My grandfather was also happy after hearing this news.

When Guddu was 3 and a ½ years old, my grandmother died due to a heart attack. The date was 17^th December, 2006. She was then just 70 years old. When her dead body was brought home, Guddu cried a lot. That time my mother was bed ridden as she was involved in a car accident. My father would go for his work and my grandfather would be there in his room playing cards and watching television. There was a maid servant who would come, do all the works of the house and go back. But she left the work soon because she had to do to other works of other houses also.

Since then, I took care of little sister as well as the whole house. I would do all the work of the house and specially hers. She had become my little sweetheart and my life. I took care of her till she was 7 years. Since then we had come too close to each other.

I was a lover of books. I used to tell her stories from my books. From that time my passion of storytelling started. I would either read a story for her or would create a story for her.

“Bhaiyya, I want to tell you one thing,” Guddu said once. She was then only 7 years old. Her birthday was coming near.

“Sure sweetheart. What happened? Is there any problem facing you or anything which makes it difficult for you to do?”

“Nothing like that, bhaiyya. Just want to give and tell you something.” I was then just 13 years.

“Yes. Surely. Why not? Give me.”

She handed me a paper and a gift beautifully wrapped. She told me, “Bhaiyya read the paper first and then open the box.” I replied “okay” with a smile.

I unfolded the paper and started to read the paper. It was written,

 

Dear Bhaiyya,

I know you have suffered a lot to take care of me. I know mother is not remaining well and father is always busy in official works. He works outside and visits us once in two weeks. You mean a lot to me. You are my father. You are my mother. You are my elder brother. You are my everything.

I feel very bad when I see you crying alone in the room. You think that I am sleeping. But I also cry when I see you crying. What have you not done for me? You teach me. You help me in doing my homework. You study your own study material. You take care of me when I am sick. You take care of Maa and Baba. You take care of the house. You do not sleep in the night when any three of us is unwell.

I Love you Bhaiyya. I don’t know what to say but I just want to say is that you are the one who is the controller of the house. If Maa or Baba needs medicines you rush to the medicine store to get the medicines. Even though papa is the only person who earns in our family but you are the one who does almost all the things of the house. You always support the family. Your support is what we need in our family. I Love You Bhaiyya.”

Your loving sweetheart sister,

Your Guddu

 

When I was reading the note given by her, tears were rolling down from my eyes. She was also crying. I kept the note and the gift aside and hugged her tightly. She started to cry like hell. Even after 5 years we remember the deadly incident of our mother’s accident and its aftermath.

****

 

6th August, 2006.

Mother and father were returning from a meeting. They had gone for a Jindal Steel Plant meeting held in Bhubaneswar. They had gone by road on 3^rd of August, 2004 and were returning to Rourkela after attending the 2 and ½ days program. They were returning at night accompanied by a driver.

“We are returning tonight, beta. What do you want from us?” Ma asked me. I simply replied, “Get a story book for me.” I was happy that they were returning from the meeting and would reach home by the next morning.

Mama denied my father to travel at night but he didn’t listen of her. He told that there is a meeting in their office tomorrow and the office staffs want him to remain in the office.

At night 2am at our residence, the landline rang. I got up and went to pick up the phone.

“Hello.”, I said sleepily.

“Hello. Is this Mr. Anshuman’s house?” the person on the other side of the phone said.

“Yes. But papa is not at home. He had gone for a meeting and he is on the way to reach Rourkela. You can find him tomorrow.”

“Can you call anybody elderly near the phone? I have something urgent to talk.”

“Wait a minute. I am calling my grandma,” I said sleepily, kept the receiver near the phone and went to my mama’s room.

“Mama, there is somebody on the other side of the phone. He told me that he wants to talk to some elderly person in the house. Can you please talk to that person?”

“Ok. I will see. You go and sleep. If there is any problem, I will wake you up. Now quickly go. Else you will not get the story book which your Maa will bring.”

I went to my bed. I saw Guddu before going to a deep sleep.

The next morning when I got up, it was already 7a.m. and it was time for me to get ready for my school. I was happy that Maa and Papa were returning today. When I went outside, I saw Mama was crying. With her, my Nani (mother’s mother) was also crying.

Then I saw Baba and Dadu (mother’s father) coming out of Baba’s room. They were worried and Baba was very much tensed. Dadu was a doctor. He has done specialization in ENT. I went to Dadu and hugged him tightly. I was frank to him. I took him aside.

“Why are Nani and mama crying? Where are Maa and papa? Why are you and Baba so worried? Is everything alright, Dadu?” I asked without stopping.

Dadu replied, “Your Maa and Papa met with an accident. The driver who was driving died on the spot. Your mother is seriously injured and your father is not so seriously injured but he is still badly injured.”

I started crying. Dadu tried to console me but I was crying inconsolably.

“Where are they?” I asked Dadu, chokingly.

“In Birla Medical Hospital” Dadu said. Tears were coming into his eyes.

I went to mama and asked her how they knew about this all.

“Do you remember the person who had called the last night on the landline?” mama asked still crying.

“Yeah, which I had picked up and handed over to you! Who was that person? Why had he called late at the night?”

“That person was a policeman. He had called us to inform us that your Papa and Maa were involved with a serious accident.”

Mama narrated me the incident of the accident in which my parents were involved.

 

“They were in the state highway where there was no light. When they were near Sambalpur, near about 1:30 at night, a truck was coming at full speed. The driver tried to save the car from coming down, but he couldn’t succeed. The truck driver was driving after drinking a lot of wine. He couldn’t balance the truck and he collided the truck with our car. The truck driver was not found after the accident. The whole incident was seen by another truck driver and he reported it to the police.”

“When will papa and Maa return to our house?” I asked impatiently.

“Don’t know, beta. Your mother is in a coma. She was critically injured. And your father was badly injured. His right leg has multiple fractures and 2 of his rib bones are broken. The driver died on the spot.” Dadu said, crying as he couldn’t control himself. That day, we all were crying.

I went to school. When our Hindi teacher asked me about my parents’ health, I cried on the spot. I told them the whole incident about what had happened on the previous night. She was also shocked after listening to that. She was my father’s childhood friend and knew my Dadu very well.

After 15 days, my father was discharged. He requested the doctors of the hospital to shift my mother to home. They agreed after much difficulty. My mother was shifted to home where my Nani did all her works for a month. As my father used to work outside Rourkela, he joined the company after 2 months of their accident.

After 2 months, Nani said to me “I cannot do more work now. I have my own work to do. You are much grown up to do the work of your mother. You can take up the responsibility. I know it would be difficult for you to manage all things at a time. But you have to take all the responsibility.”

I nodded in dissatisfaction. Even if I did not agree, I had to do all the works, after Nani went away to her home. I started doing all the things of the house. I was so indulged in doing the works of the house that I had forgotten my sleep, play, watching TV and all those which I used to do in my leisure time.

This became an addiction. As people had addiction towards whisky, dancing or cigarette, I got addicted to pain and struggle. But I was addicted to love also. My sister’s love.

Father would come regularly to meet us and he used to do all the work of Maa, but I had to do other works of the house. I had to take care of my sister, I had to give medicines to Baba and Mama, and I had to bring all medicines and grocery from the market.

“Bhaiyya, what has happened to Maa?” Guddu asked one day. She was only 3 years that time. I could only reply “She was involved in an accident”. Guddu was just an innocent child. What will she understand about all these things?

In some time, all my friends came to know about my mother’s accident. I thought they will never be supporting me, but they supported me all the time. They supported me every moment of my life. I was really happy when they would help in my homework’s, projects and many things.

But my family members did not support me. Nani always used to criticize me saying “You never do anything. You are just a duffer. You only stick to your sister and take care of her. Do you have any feelings for your mother? Go and do some work for her. Why are you sitting lazily?”

She would not see the pain which I would undergo. I was doing the duties of my mother, my sister, my Baba, my papa and myself. I had forgotten my sleep. If I did any mistake, all would beat me or scold me like anything. But if I did any work worthy of praise, they would not say a single word. Father would beat me for the slightest mistake I did.

All my friends would scold me, “Kya yaar, kitna dubla ho gaya? You were 45kgs last year. Now you are 37kgs. Just grow up dude. Aise karega to kaise hoga? Entertainment kaun karega bhai? Do you remember you have friends also? You need only call once, we will be at your service. Teri halat dekh ke taras aa raha hai humlog ko! Bhai aapne aap ko sambhal. We are always there for you.” My friends consoled all the time. My sister would come to me and console me after I got scolding or beating from any member of my house. My sister came closer and closer to me after this incident. We loved each other deeply and she cried whenever she saw me getting any type of physical or mental torture. She had become my sweetheart and I had become her superhero.

This was just the starting of my pains. I was in constant and great pain from the age of 9. But this had led me to learn many new things like cooking, moping the floor, taking care of somebody and the greatest thing, taking care of the whole house.

I was struggling with taking care of the whole house and completing my studies. I was doing my studies after doing the house hold works and this continued up to late at night. When I had exams, I would ask Nani for help. But she would deny telling that I have to control the house and do my studies.

This was the only reason why I was getting poor marks. And for this also I was beaten mercilessly. I was like a puppet that would do the entire thing perfectly. I was not failing in any subject, but I was getting not more than 65%. For that I was beaten by Papa and Nani.

 

I didn’t protest that I would not do this or would do that. If I had prepared food, Papa would throw it and beat me. If he would prepare and it would be tasteless, he would blame me that I was the one disturbing him all the time while he cooked. But I never used to tell anything. This was all the pain I was going through all the time while mother was in coma.

*******

 

She hugged me tightly and cried loudly. She was uncontrollable. By seeing her, my eyes got tears and some drops fell on Guddu’s head. I gave her a note in which I had written. It contained a sad poem which I used to write in the little free time I got. It was written-

 

“Na jane kyun meri zindagi me tum aaye the, 
Na jane kyun mene tumhe chaha tha,
Na jane kyun mene tumse milne ki bekarari dikhai thi,
Na jane kyun mene tumhe apne sanson me basaya tha,
Na jane kyun mene tumhe zine ki wajah banayi thi,
Na jane kyun tumhe pane ki chah jagayi thi,
Na jane kyun mene tum se hi dil lagaya tha,
Na jane kyun mene tumse hi pyaar kiya tha,
Jab chhot is dil ko hi khana tha,
Jab sansein meri hi thamni thi,
Jab ansu mere hi behne the,
Jab alag yun hi hona tha.
Na jane....Na jane....Na jane kyun”

 

While she was reading this poem, she was feeling little uncomfortable. I asked, “What happened, dear? Are you facing any problem?”

She was about to speak when she fainted. I called father and Dadu both. Dadu sent for an ambulance. I locked the house and went with her to the hospital. By the time her check up was going on, I called Nani to come home and take care of Maa.

“Why can’t you take care of your mother? Why should I?”

“Because Guddu is admitted being in hospital. Dadu is checking her up.”

“So why should I take care of your mother? You have taken the responsibility of handling the whole house. Now, don’t interfere in my matter and do your work.”

I was very sad. Dadu came out of the ICU.

“What happened, Dadu” I asked. He gave me a tight slap on my face.

“Can’t you to take care of your sister?  Are you a human being or something else?” Dadu said angrily.

“What have I done, Dadu? I have given my best to take care of my brother and my sister. I never left an opportunity to take care of my sister. What has happened to her?” I said shockingly.

“Lungs Disorder. She will die in next 3-4 months. There is no chance for survival. You are responsible for all this. You idiotic brat. Just don’t show your stupid face here. You are just a stupid idiot boy. Just go away. I don’t want to see your face. Just get your face out of my view. Quick, else I will give you another slap.”

All the staff over their were witness to the scene. I made an oath never to come to that hospital. I started hating myself. I was responsible for everything. If Guddu was going to die between next 3-4 months, it was my mistake.

How did this happen? I never left an opportunity to serve her. I always served my best. Still I couldn’t save her from this disease. I came out from the hospital, disappointed

I knew what I had to do. Suicide. There was no other alternative. But I had to leave. I had taken up the responsibility of taking care of the house. My mind was going towards Guddu. When father got the news, he was very sad. He spat all his anger and loneliness upon me. He started beating me with his tennis racket and after that with my bat.

Dadu discharged her after one week and told me to give this medicine to her timely. The disease from which Guddu was suffering had no cure but the medicine could relieve her pain. He told me sorry for the incident that took place in the hospital that date. I didn’t mind that.

Papa and Nani did not understand the pain I was going through. But Dadu understood it. He understood my mental pressure I was going through and after that he supported me every time. I became happy when one of the family members started supporting me.

 

After 3 and ½ months.

February 22, 2010

Afternoon 2:15 pm.

 

“Bhaiyya, what has happened to me?”

“Nothing sweetheart. Nothing has happened to you. You are absolutely fine.”

“Am I going to die? Bhaiyya, please tell me. Am I going to die?”

My eyes started to get wet. Tears rolled out of my eyes. How could I tell her the truth?

I called Dadu.

“Dadu, what can I do for Guddu to save her?”

“Why? What happened?”

“Today Guddu was asking to me whether she going to die? What will I answer that small kid? What is the ultimate medicine for this disorder?”

“There is no cure for this now. How much you try, it will not cure anybody. Her lungs are fully damaged now. No one can make sure that she will leave or she will be alright. I know that within this 5 and ½ years you have grown too close to her. But we cannot help this out. Sorry.”

I disconnected the call and cried. When Guddu saw me crying,

“Why are you crying, bhaiyya? Please don’t cry. I know that I will not remain alive. That which must happen, will happen. Please don’t cry.” She consoled me.

I saw her eyes. They were small, innocent and full of tears.

“Don’t cry my sweetheart. If you will cry then I will cry. And you cannot see me cry, correct?”

She started crying. I know she would not stop now. She hugged me tightly. I planted a kiss on her cheeks and her forehead. Her eyes had become red. Suddenly,

“Bhaiyya, something is happening. I am not able to breathe properly.”

 

“Wait. I am calling Dadu. You lie on the bed.” By telling this I made her sleep on the bed and called Dadu. I also called Papa and Nani for this. Papa quickly left his office and booked a bus for coming to Rourkela.

 

Evening 5:15 pm, at our residence.

 

Nani arrived at our house with Dadu; she gave me a tight slap on my face. Dadu called for the ambulance, took Guddu to the hospital and returned back to our house.

“This happened all because of you. You are not taking care of your house properly.”

“I have done whatever I could. I have my own life. For the last 4 years I have suffered a lot. And for the slightest mistake you blame me. Have you ever seen me wasting my time here and there? Have you ever seen me playing with my friends for these last 4 years? Have you ever seen me watching TV more than 15 minutes? Then why should I be blamed if someone is suffering? No one is seeing from what extent I am suffering. But all are seeing from what extent Maa and Guddu are suffering. They are suffering from physical disorder but I am suffering from both physical and mental torture. For a slightest mistake, I am blamed. I am beaten mercilessly. But I do not protest ever. This has become a chance for you to dominate over a child like me!” I cried, Dadu consoling me.

Nani’s head was down with shame. She realized that she had done a great mistake. She came and hugged me.

“I am sorry, Bitu. I am very sorry. I didn’t think of what mental pressure you must be going on. I always thought that a child must be perfect in all sphere. But now I understood that that no person is ever 100% perfect. And you are a child. How could you be 100% perfect? You have done everything you can do for your house. I regret it now.”

“What is the use of saying  sorry now, Nani? Can you return me those 4 years which have made my life hell? If you could have done that, I could have been a child again and could be playing with my friends again, watching films and studying properly. I would have been getting good marks in my exams. On one hand you tell me that I should get full marks in my exams and on other side, I should be responsible in all the house works. If I don’t do my studies, you and Papa beat me like anything and on other side if I don’t do the household work properly, both of you beat me mercilessly. You beat me like I am a donkey. Do you know that? I too have a life to live? If I don’t study properly, I will not get a proper job. And for that you will blame me. How will I adjust my time? I do the household work, my studies, Maa’s work, Guddu’s work and maids work.” I said stammering.

“Bitu...” Nani said

I continued cutting Nani in the middle, "I cook the breakfast and lunch daily, make Maa ready and make her eat breakfast, wake up Guddu and make her do all the works and when I sit for breakfast at 6 am , Maa’s medicine eating time approaches. After I give it, I sit to eat at 6:05. By that time, my school time approaches. I go to school and when I reach home at 3:00, I help Maa eat and serve Guddu. When both of them eat their lunch, I eat my lunch at 4 in afternoon."

"I give Maa her medicines, do my homework, cook dinner and teach Guddu. I go for my tuitions, I teach tuitions to juniors so that I could have my pocket money. I do my self studies, serve Guddu her dinner, make Maa eat her dinner and make them both sleep. I revise my studies and by the time I go to bed it is almost half past midnight. Now you tell me, you have done more for our family or I have done more for our family.”

I couldn’t control my emotions. I started crying. I couldn’t control my anger and started hitting my head furiously. I listened the opening of the gate and the door of my room. I saw Papa coming inside the room. He was totally shocked by seeing me in this condition. Blood was coming out of my forehead. He gave me tight slap on my face and I fell down, unconscious.

 

Night 7:15 pm, at Dadu’s hospital.

 

When I regained consciousness, I found that I was admitted in the hospital and my forehead was bandaged. Papa, Dadu and Nani were standing near me and Guddu was sleeping on the bed next to me, watching me happily.

“What do you think of yourself? Have you ever understood what will happen when you do this? Do you understand how I feel when I slap you or beat you? I feel guilty that you work so hard for us. I never knew that you gave tuitions. I did not know that you do not sleep before midnight. And Guddu also didn’t tell me anything. Because she herself didn’t know all this. I am sorry beta, I am really sorry. I shouldn’t have tortured you.”

 

I was sure that Nani had told him everything when I had lost my unconscious. She was still feeling ashamed for her behavior towards me for the last 4 years. Papa was also ashamed. His hand had blood from the last time he slapped me.

I closed my eyes and a tear rolled down from my eyes on my cheeks. Papa cleared out my tears. Guddu eyes were full of tears. She also cried. But then something happened which made all of us cry till now.

“Bhaiyya, I am feeling uncomfortable. I am feeling like somebody is picking me up. Please help me Bhaiyya.” Guddu was telling breathlessly.

“Nurse, quick. Take her to ICU.” Dadu shouted.

They took Guddu to the ICU. She was breathing heavily. They put on the oxygen mask on her face. Still then she was breathing heavily. They passed electric currents through her chests. After some time, Dadu came out of the ICU.

“What happened? Is Guddu alright?” Papa asked him.

Dadu hanged his head down and said “I am sorry, we tried our best. But we couldn’t make her survive. After all she had to leave some day. I am sorry.”

Papa cried. Nani cried. All our relatives were called. But I was not told.

 

Night 9:15pm. At hospital.

 

Dadu entered my room.

“Hey, Dadu. Is Guddu alright? Can I talk to her? I know she is alright. Please take me up to her.” I said. I was happy that time because I got my family back. But I saw Dadu’s head hanging down.

“What happened, Dadu? Is everything alright? Is Guddu alright? Tell me Dadu. Please Dadu. Please.” I stammered. I could sense something bad.

“Sorry Bitu. We could not save her. Guddu is no more with us. She died 2 hours ago. She will be taken after 30 minutes to the graveyard for burial. We are sorry, Bitu.”

I was shocked. I didn’t believe him. But I controlled.

“I want to see Guddu for the last time before they bury her. Can I Dadu?” I said controlling my emotions. I was feeling angry and emotional at a time.

“Yeah. You can see her. But not more than 15 minutes.  We have to follow some rules and regulations. We don’t allow anybody to see a particular body for more than 15 minutes. I am sorry, Bitu. I can’t do anything for her.” Dadu said almost crying.

He took me to the room were the body of my Guddu was kept. I saw her. As I was in shock, I thought that she was in a sleep and she would get up. I didn’t see who all were standing in the room. I went straight up to her, sat on the bed and kissed her forehead.

“Guddu. Get up my little sweetheart. I know you are in a deep sleep. Tomorrow is the day when you were to start going to school. Don’t you want to celebrate this? I will call your friends and we'll celebrate. Day after tomorrow our school’s new session will start. Don’t you want to go to see your friends, want to know who are you class teacher and subject teacher? Get up my angel.”

I couldn’t control the shock now and started to cry.

“How can you do this to me Guddu? How can you? You had promised me that you will never leave me alone. Then how did you leave me alone? Hadn’t I taken much care of you? Hadn’t I loved you more than my life? Hadn’t I done everything you like? Then why did you leave me alone my sweetheart? Why? Why? Why?”

I was uncontrollable. The whole hospital staff was gathered to see this. They were seeing the sadness which a brother feels when his sister dies.

I thought,  “I can’t live anymore. My life is shattered now.”

I shouted aloud “Bhagwan, yeh kya kar diya tune? Mujhe maut dede. Nahi jiya jayega yehi dukh bhari zindegi. Nahi jiya jayega. Hey God, can you hear me? If you hear me, I give three options. First, give my Guddu’s life back. Second, take me to you. Kill me. Or third, give me enough power so that I can increase my will and strength. Can you hear me?”

I became uncontrollable. I cried holding her body. By seeing me crying like hell, all thought that I had became mad. Who can make them understand that when you lose somebody you love deeply and you are informed ½ hour before the last rites, how would someone feel?

“Dadu, please come here?” I said controlling both my anger and tears

“Yes, Bitu”

“Can I go with you to the burial ground for Guddu’s burial?”

“No beta. Children cannot visit burial grounds.”

“Who has told this to you? It’s my sister’s burial. Doesn’t a brother have a right to come to his sister’s burial? Doesn’t a brother have a right to participate in his sister’s burial? Answer me Dadu.”

“You have the right but…”

“But?”

“It is against the Hindu rule. You can’t break it.”

“I don’t know anything. If you aren’t taking me to Guddu’s burial ceremony, you will see what I can do?” I shouted at them. My eyes were as red as a bull seeing the colour red.

“But…”

“I don’t want to hear anything. No buts and ands. I want to go and will go with you. It is my sister’s burial. You never took care of me. I took care of her for almost 3 and ½ years. I understood that if you lose somebody very much close to somebody’s heart, it will pain the first person. I will go.” They did not say anything. They knew that I was in such a mood that if somebody will try to cross answer me, I can beat him like a beast.

During the journey to the burial ground, I sat near the body of Guddu, kept her head in my lap and started put my hand on her forehead. I was both angry and sad that time. As I was seeing her for the last time, I was sad. As they were still telling me get down, I was angry. I did not want anybody to touch her body. I had decided that I will not let anybody to put her body on the place where she will be buried.

When they reached the burial ground; Papa, Dadu, Chachu and Mamma (mother’s brother) came to bring the body down. I didn’t let them touch her body. I got down, took her dead body in my hand and took to the place where she was to be buried.

“What are you doing?” the priest said.

“I am taking the body to the burial place. Is there any problem?”

Dadu took the priest aside and told something in his ears. His face was looking as if he is scared of.

“Who will perform the rites?” the priest asked.

“I will do.” Papa said

When all the rites where over, they took the body and kept the body little deep in the ground. I was watching from a far of place. When they were throwing sand upon the body, they gave me a little sand and told me put it over the body.

All those who came to see the burial rites went away. When Papa, Chachu, Dadu and Mamma where leaving they came near me.

“Let’s go home.”

“I don’t want to go home. I will remain here. I will call you when I want to come home.”

“But, it’s too late now. It’s almost 11:30 pm. We will again come tomorrow.”

“Papa, can’t you hear me. I don’t want to go home now. I want to spend some time here. Alone. I don’t want anybody to be with me. When I want to come home, I will inform you. For now, you can leave me alone.”

“But….”

“You can proceed Papa.”

I was sad and wanted some time alone in burial ground. I went near my sister’s burial place and lied there. As soon as I lied, I was fallen deep asleep.

At night, I got a dream.

 

                                                              *******

 

I was walking in a lonely road with trees around. It was around 12 midnight. Suddenly,

“Bhaiyya!” somebody shouted.

I looked around. There was no one around. I started walking again. After sometime,

“Bhaiyya.”

I looked. There was no one.

“Who’s there? Who is calling me?”

“How can you forget me, Bhaiyya? Recognize my voice?”

“Guddu?”

“How can you forget my voice, Bhaiyya?”

“Where are you? I want to see you. Please come forward. Please.”

Suddenly a light appeared from the sky. It directly fell upon the ground, somewhere about 50 meters ahead from me. And I could see an angel coming down. When it came down, the light went away. I could see the angel. Small height (say, 4 feet, 6 inches), small eyes and had a tattoo ‘Adi’ written on it. It was just looking like Guddu. I started crying.

“Guddu, why did you leave me alone? Why?” I asked shouting and crying.

“Don’t cry, Bhaiyya. You know that I can’t see you cry. Please don’t cry.”

“But, why did you leave me alone? You had promised me that you will never leave me alone. But you are not there with me now. Why did you have to leave me alone? Did God think that without you how will I be? I am suffering here like hell. Please come back Guddu. Please.”

“Bhaiyya, if I am not present physically with you, I am always present mentally with you. If you think of me, I will always come to you. You can share your thoughts with me mentally.”

“But there is a great difference between mental presence and physical presence, Guddu. You know that I am going to appear my 10^th board exams after 2 years. I won't be able to think about you a lot.”

“Bhaiyya, I will tell you one thing. During class 10 and further studies, you will find that you will get 5 different sisters. 2 are now with you 1 will come when you are in Class 9 and another 2 you will get during your class 10 sessions. Ok Bhaiyya?”

“Did I ever say no to your 'yes or no' questions? But you have to promise me one thing.”

“Sure Bhaiyya.”

“The 3 should never leave me physically like you did. Ok?”

“It’s ok Bhaiyya. Now go home. It's already 2 at night. ”

“First you go. I will not go until you leave. Love you dear. Missing you a lot.”

“Ok Bhaiyya. Love you too. Missing you a lot.”

The light came back again and Guddu’s angel went back. I was both happy and sad. Sad because Guddu was not with me now and happy because at least her soul came to meet me.

 

                                                          *******

 

I got up. I saw that I was still in the graveyard. I called Papa to come and take me home. I was happy. When Papa reached the graveyard, he was shocked.

I was kneeling down and was praying for Guddu’s soul for peace. When I got up, I saw Papa crying, kneeling down. I went to him.

“What happened, papa? Why are you crying?”

“I saw what you were doing now. I realized what Guddu meant to you. I am sorry, my son. I didn’t realize that you played the greatest role in our family. Here your sister died and there your mother is out from coma. She is waiting for you.”

“What? Is she really out of coma? Did she know about the news of Guddu’s death? Did she know about my health?” I asked Papa, almost crying.

“She doesn’t know anything about this. She only knows that Guddu is dead and you are at the graveyard. She doesn’t know about your bad health. I know that when she sees you she will know about the torture we have done to you, but I don’t want her to know that you have been tortured by us. Please don’t tell her about this. Else you know what will be the action done by your mother. She does what she thinks and if she knows what has happened to you, she will either leave home or commit suicide. So don’t tell her anything.”

“Ok Papa. I will. Anything for my family. But for one condition. I need a sister. I can’t live without a sister. You also know that I cannot live without a sister. I need somebody to share my feelings.”

“Ok. We will think of that. But now, let us go home. Tumarhi Maa teri raah dekh rahi hogi.”

“You will adopt a sister for me. Please Papa.”

“Ok. Can we go now??”

“Ok. Let’s go.”

When I reached home, Maa hugged me tightly. When she saw me, her first words were just like heaven for me.

“Bitu.”

“Maa.”

“Kaisa hai mera bacchha?”

“I am alright, Maa.”

“You have become so thin and dull. You have so many wounds on your body. How did all this happen?”

“Actually, Maa, leave all this. How are you feeling now?”

“I am alright. But feeling like hell when I heard that Guddu died last night. How did all this happen?

“Lung's Disorder, Maa. She was suffering from Lung's Disorder. She died due to that.” Upon saying this, I started crying.

“What did you do all this years?”

“Took care of you, took care of Guddu, took care of house, took care of Papa and took care of everything. I slept 3 hours a day but did all the works of the house, your works, and Guddu’s works and did my studies. That’s why I have become so thin and dull.”

“Was there no one to take care of other works of the house?”

“Yes, one maid was there but she left work 2 and ½ years back. She told that she had many other works and cannot work throughout the day here. So I had to work all the time.”

“Why? Was there no other person to take care of the house?”

“No, Maa. I used to cook, clean the house and many more chores.”

“Arey Waah. When did you become so mature?”

“After you went into coma.”

“Help me sometimes when I would be tired.”

“Ok mom.”

 

Guddu’s death brought a change in me. I had become duller. I had more sleepless nights. I did not do well in exams. It affected my health. But this was not enough. Worse things were to come in my life. Love had gone from my life. Only pain and struggle were left in my life.