Never Afraid To Raise Voice

My heart trembling with fear, my hands were shivering and I couldn't think of anything. Somewhere deep in my heart, there is a question that why did I do that. I left the door unlocked and went down to the parking lot. I started walking out of the gate and was waiting for the cab. Meanwhile, in my mind, I wasn't sure what I'm going to do. I couldn't judge that whatever I'm doing is right or wrong. Suddenly I heard a horn from the backside. I turned back fearing, but it was the cab that I booked. I got into the cab but I was still not sure about going there. My thoughts went on and on, but then I decided though it is hard for me to face the situation I need to do what is right. While I was lost in my thoughts, I heard a voice calling me mam. It was a cab driver's voice. Then I got down from the cab and paid the money. Soon after the cab left I walked into the police station.

As soon as I entered the police station, one of the policemen asked me "Mam, what do you want."

Me-I came here to file a complaint.

Police-what's your complaint?

Me-My husband was killed brutally.

Police-Where and when was he killed? Do you suspect anyone?

This question shacked me from inside. But somehow I managed to gather all my strength and thought of telling the truth.

Me- he was murdered an hour back. I was the one who killed him.

Everyone in the police station was shocked at the reply I gave.

Police-Have you have gone mad? Do you understand what you are speaking about?

Me- I'm completely in my senses when I killed him and now as well.

They took the details about where his body was and took me into custody.

After a day, they took me to the court. In the courtroom, I saw my parents and my husband's family sitting in the public seating area. I can realize that all of them have the same question that why I killed him and ruined our lives. I couldn't meet their eyes. A few moments later the judge arrives into the courtroom. Then public prosecutor question me "Are you the one responsible for this crime?"

Me- Yes

Prosecutor-"Why did you kill your husband?"

On hearing his question my memories came flooding back. I wasn't sure whether I can explain what had happened. I'm not bothered about the punishment given by the court but I'm thinking about how my parents would react.

Me-It wasn't easy for a girl like me to deal with all this. I'm like most of the other girls in this country. I completed my education back in 2016. I got married to Karthik in 2017. It has been three years since our marriage. Everything is good for the first two years. One day he got an invitation from his office to attend their boss's 30th-anniversary party. We attended the party. At the party, we met his colleagues his manager and some other staff. Everything was going well at the party. Suddenly I heard my husband shouting -"What do you think about yourself?" Then I went to my husband he was yelling at his boss's son Rohan. After that, we immediately went home, and then I asked my husband why did he yell at his boss. He said it's something related to work. So I thought it was not something that I need to worry about. A week later my husband got a promotion as assistant manager. So to celebrate that we went out for dinner. Rohan also joined us at dinner. I was surprised why did he join us at dinner. My husband introduced me to Rohan and said she is my wife Keerthi. After that Rohan used to visit us frequently. I was not happy with that because I felt something is not fine but I don't know what it is. One day suddenly Rohan came to our house when my husband was not at home. He told that Karthik invited him. Then I asked him to get in and called my husband. He told that it will take him half an hour more because he was stuck in traffic. Then I went into the kitchen to get some coffee for Rohan. Then suddenly Rohan came into the kitchen and tried to misbehave with me. Somehow I managed him and locked him inside. I was waiting for my husband to come to tell him what had happened. After an hour he came. I told him how Rohan behaved with me. Instead of supporting me, he yelled at me why was I creating a scene. He immediately unlocked the door. Rohan came out and yelled at my husband. I was in a complete shock about mu husband's reaction. Then my husband came to me and said Rohan offered me a promotion and salary hike. In return, he just asked you. He wanted to have you in his bed. I was shocked by listening to that. I can't understand how my husband can behave like this. How can he treat me like an object? He tried to convince me to agree with this deal. Months went on, he still tried convincing me saying that after this we can have a good life. He thought that I'll get convinced easily. I was puzzled by my husband's behavior. I tried explaining to him that what he was doing is not right. I didn't inform my parents about this thinking that he will realize his mistake and apologize to me for his deeds. On the day of his murder, he received a call. After that call, he apologized to me saying sorry for all his behavior. I accepted his apology and I told him we can be happy with whatever we have. I was happy that he understood his mistake. After some time he asked me to prepare his favorite food. I happily went into the kitchen to prepare food for us. But my happiness didn't last for a long time. I heard him speaking to Rohan. He told Rohan to come after one hour and meanwhile, he will manage me. After hearing that I thought of escaping from there. But my husband hit me so hard that I can't move. He slapped me, hit me with a chair, banged my head against the wall. I pleaded for him to leave me. He still punched me in my stomach for ruining all his dreams to be rich. Then he got a call. It was Rohan. He told he would be there at my house within fifteen minutes. I was terrified of listening to this. After the call, my husband tried to tie me to the chair. I know if he tied me I can't escape from there. So while he was trying to tie me with a rope I pushed him hard. I pushed him to escape from there but I don't know that he would get hurt so badly. He got hit to the glass door and a glass piece pierced into his chest. I was shocked by seeing the blood. Rohan came but he ran away seeing my husband dead. I was crying so hard that why did this happen. I blamed my self and thought of killing myself. But then I realized it was not my fault. It was his greed that led to his death. I was moved with the thought that how many women in this world have been facing such cruelty in their lives. Not only Karthik but I did a mistake without informing my parents. Many Indian women worry about society and keep mum about violence against women. We women don't have this courage to raise our voice against these social evils. I was not telling all this to defend myself but I only wish that at least one woman should not get into such things."

On listening to this everyone in the court was moved. I can see my parents feel bad for me. I saw Karthik's parents feeling ashamed of their son's behavior.

Judge- As self-defense is not a crime when it is proportionate to the loss caused to you. So I declare this as an accident and release Keerthi as innocent.

After coming out of the courtroom I apologized to Karthik's parents. They instead apologized to me for their son's behavior. 

After six months I joined an NGO to help women fight against such violence. Though it's hard for me to move on I thought if I could save one woman from such evil practices I would do this.