My New Child

My daughter was little different so we had not sent to school for very long hours.

Rather it was an and off and on kindergarten for her.

After her fourth birthday we consciously sat down to select a school after researching on their

infra structure compliance and their gender sensitivity policies and efforts undertaken regarding the same.

After lot of discussions and delving deep with two head of schools we shortlisted one not very far from home.

We were excited and upbeat of Aiyna going to a formal school.

All her new dress, books and bag were fun filled exercise for her and us too. 

All went very well for a couple of months. She was allowed to wear diapers too.

I was requested by the Principal to gradually do away with the diapers as she would have her helped at school.

She was well taken care off with a trusted elderly support staff who very compassionate.

As the luck would have it , this gentle lady went on leave and I wasn't aware of it.

Aiyana, managed a few days and I was also not aware of it.

One fine afternoon, I got a call from the school that my daughter had peed in her trouser. I was upset.

I rushed to school with extra clothing and I asked her, if she was sick. She told me that she could not hold for too long.

But why did you have to hold. Then she said that her nanny was on leave.

 She told me that she was not allowed.

I was visibly angry. Holding my hand tightly, she said, " I'm not allowed in the boys restroom and I don't belong to the girls rest room.

Where would my child go. The world came crashing. 

 Turning to therapy for answers, it was clear that it was not a phase but a reality. 

I was shaken to the core. Yet we sought answers and took her to the therapist. He wanted some initial test only with my daughter. 

We did not want her to face any discrimination, we reluctantly waited outside on the couch anxious and eager. Shortly he came and told us that

you son has something interesting to share, you as parents were not ready. " Your Son", kept ringing in my ears and my heart pounded my cage.

We rechristened him as "Agam" now, one born to lead. Indeed he was leading us through this uncertainty and towards a world of clarity with acceptance.

As I sitched off the lights, and was closing the door of his room, slept in bliss an avid footballer who was fond of playing guitar and had a deep husky voice. It was the new normal for our friends , relatives and for us who mattered the most to him. Yes, my child mattered the most, not his gender neutrality.