Midnight Memories

3.00 a.m.

Finally,the time came where I would not be surrounded by judgemental people, a time where no one can judge me on the basis of broken heart I carry. The time when I will be alone with my feelings surrounding me,with the memories I had in the past, and the love that still haunts me. The moment night comes, I wait for this time, as this is the only time I can be myself and I do not have to fake a smile and show happiness that isn't from my heart,those incidences still reminds me and make me weak, I no longer can control them on my own, and it's been 3 years since I'm hiding my tears, my pain from everyone and every night these feelings cover up my mind, and never let me sleep.

After saying goodbye to my mom and dad, my door waits for me to shut it, my pillow waits for me to pour my heart out on it and make it wet, he hugs me tight in return and that's the reason it comes to its original form in morning and hides all my pain and keeps them to himself, after which my diary waits for me to write my heart out and tell the story of the whole day, and my soft toys who are the best cuddlers, and that's how they are the only ones who helps me get through the nights peacefully. 

The moments in the past, the memories from the past and the experiences from the past still haunts me at night, I do hold them tight and want to relive those moments, I wish I could rewind and live those beautiful moments of my life again, but as soon as I try to be happy and smile like I did, my present pinches from behind and makes me realize about the situation I am in at the moment, and that's what I deserve to love someone truly, it do pinches like a cactus which when spread over the body hurts, and that's when I realize the bitter truth of my life of being betrayed. I cry to myself realizing I don't have that special person to cheer me up, and that's the moment when my smile turn into tears within some seconds and I want to cry, I want to scream hard and let the world know that I'm suffering, I'm dying from inside, but then something strikes my mind and tell me to lower them down and cover them inside my pillow and that's how my night ends with tears, sorrows, heavy heart, memories, past and mixed emotions, and morning starts again with a fake smile. And that's how these are the memories to be cherished for lifetime.