Mere Three Seconds

One. Two. Three - those were the few insignificant seconds that seemed to lapse by while she laid static on the cold concrete pavement with a certain horror reigning every inch of her body. Three mere seconds, that seemed to pass by before she felt the flesh of her face being set ablaze. Three seconds, only three bare seconds were enough to render her scarred for the rest of her life while she laid absolutely immobilized on the cold concrete pavement with a certain hollowness that shattered the very core of her being.

Clasping her cold and callous fingers around the velvety comforter, her eyes fluttered open. She stared at the whitewashed ceiling that rested above her as those eyes of hers ceaselessly stung from playing through those scenarios of the past that she loathed with every fiber of her being. Her heart continued to bang against those frail ribs of hers as the void filled with dread kept expanding to every chamber of that very heart. She clenched her chest with the back of her clammy palms while the unkempt heaving of her lungs never seemed to cease. Her mind kept numbing with every image of the past that unbridled from its forbidden depths, causing those lungs of hers to become constricted while she kept gasping for the share of the air that her airways now failed to provide. She saw those several bits of the past slowly scrapping out one by one and laying patent across those eyes of hers only to haunt her once again, snatching any placidity of slumber that she was destined to get. She felt those familiar quivers erupting along the spine of her back as she trailed the trembling tips of her fingers along the side of the face that was now jagged and brutally scarred with the splashes of a nasty bottle of acid.

Getting off the bed, she walked towards the mirror that stood in front of her. Clenching her fists tightly until her knuckles kept turning white, she lifted her gaze to glance at that face of hers- only to stumble back upon seeing those burnt remnants of the past shrouding the girl that she once used to be. She stared hard at those scars that were etched boldly across the side of her face - only to catch the slight wincing that still wrecked through her body upon seeing those mere three seconds recurring yet again that had passed by after the nasty drops of acid were mercilessly thrown at her a year ago on this very day.

She kept walking backward, tottering hither and thither in her steps until she hit the edge of her bed. Sitting on the brink of her bed, she braced herself once again as that day kept enlivening across her bare eyes- the day when she had become yet another victim of an acid attack in broad daylight. She could see that day as lucid as ever - the day when she had come across the immense mastery of survival that had been always there right embedded in every one of her existence.

The darkness of the night kept seeping into every corner of her room, while she looked out of the closed window and sucking in a sharp breath as she saw the past vividly flicking across the sleepless lids of her eyes. And there she could see that one fateful day roaringly replaying throughout her vision. She remembered waking up to the streaks of the early risen sun while grabbing the cackling alarm clock from the bedside table and shutting it off with a loud thud. She remembered those giggles that echoed through her whole room as she had bent over to place a soft peck on the cheeks of her little sister before rushing to be engulfed in one of those warm bear hugs of her mother. She remembered the tiny goosebumps flickering upon her forearms when she had stepped out of the threshold of her small and dandy haven and into the mad rush of the morning that awaited her presence. She remembered the way she was fiddling with the straps of her bag as she waited to walk across the street while tapping her feet on a small pebble that seemed to be her only companion amid the hustle and bustle of the vast world.

She remembered the beauteous view that her eyes had captured as she kept gazing at the faraway horizon that gleamed with the fierce hues of orange and yellow along with a tinge of vibrant blue sneaking behind those towering and daunting skyscrapers. She remembered the frivolous curve that tugged at the corners of her lips when she couldn't help but think about rushing back to the warmth and safety of her duvets, and away from all the commotion that kept buzzing around her. She remembered flinching slightly as the sudden screeching of tires broke her trance of thoughts while she saw the signal finally turning red. She remembered those steady steps that her feet had walked all the way from crossing the street to picking a quicker pace to tread along the pavement. She remembered, looking behind those shoulders of hers twice only to see anything but unusual or unsettling. And there, she remembered what she had failed to see that day - the faint silhouette of someone who trailed closely behind her.

She remembered, that one gentle tap that she had felt on her shoulder and also those frowns that had consequently bloomed all over her once smooth forehead. She remembered halting in her steps and debating whether to turn around or not only to realize it was too late to avert her face away now. She remembered, that clammy palm wrapping itself around her face and gaining a firm hold on the yelps that awaited to break out of her mouth. She remembered, that very clammy palm digging its brittle nails on her skin before mightily shoving her on the pavement. And there she remembered once again - those droplets of rancor that had leaped out of the bottle only to be splashed over the side of her face. She remembered the faintly visible features of the person who had his hands draped around the bottle of venom and the numbness that had taken over her mind the instant she had deciphered that face of his. And how could she not remember the way her own palms were fixated on that blazing side of her face? How could she not remember the way those eyes of hers remained adamantly closed as the world came to an abrupt halt and enveloping her with a dense blanket of stillness? How could she not remember that very stillness that annihilated every ray of light that had been visible to her all this while? And there, she could live those three mere seconds of that day that had seemed to pass by cruelly before the horrendous aftermath of those lethal drops occurred only to devour the very core of her being along with her flesh. And there, she lived those three mere seconds once again that ended up with her identity being taken away by just a single acidulous splash.

The ticking of the clock beside her bed broke her gaze from the closed window that held the view of nothing but prevailing darkness. She let out the held back puffs of air as beads of sweat were sprawled across her forehead. And yet again, she couldn't help but succumb to the flashbacks that kept whirling in the numbed nooks of her mind. She couldn't help but tumble back to the day that held those three seconds - the very three seconds that were all to make her lose her faith in humanity. She couldn't help but recall those seconds within which shrieks and shrills broke out of her mouth, leaving her throat narrowed and parched while people from all walks of life continued to rush past her and not towards her at all. She couldn't help but recall the way she kept writhing and wrenching right on that pavement with a pain that kept entrenching in every bone that her body had while a herd of countless foreign faces began to circle her yet none lending her a hand. She couldn't help but recall the embers that blared upon the flesh of her face while the eyes of innumerous beings stared at her and none attempting to salvage her from those venomous flames that kept eating her away.

She couldn't help but recall the salient murmurs and whispers of the crowd that had fenced her and the audible clicks of cameras that were all focused on the twists and turns that wrecked through her while she kept bellowing out loud as the acid kept clawing and nibbling on her flesh, brutally ravaging every inch of her soul. She couldn't help but recall the ache that never for once forsaken her rather kept paving its way to every inch of her body while the faith and compassion that she had always harbored for humanity kept withering away bit by bit just like her skin that kept melting away from the side of her face while none of those umpteen masses filled with several races of human came forth to rescue her.

A bitter cry escaped from the cage of her sealed lips as she stared down at those scars of burns that now were embellished to her arms and wrists too. Her eyes darted to every wall that surrounded her as if mocking and laughing at the way she had lost that small world of hers to the hands of the cruel reality that laid undeniably translucent in front of her every time those fragments of the past replayed through her head. Closing those eyes of hers, her mind ran back to the bits of the past that had crumbled her world into pieces that she never managed to find anymore. 

She was reminded of those horribly white painted walls and the stench of bleach to which her eyes had cracked open while laying on that white bed with wires digging into her body and machines persistently beeping around her. She was reminded of the numbness that soaked up her insides in the entirety while a pit of dread and apprehension swallowed her whole as bucket after bucket of cold water continually plunged upon those remnants of acid that still burned ferociously on her flesh. She was reminded of the way her mother had barged through the tinted doors of the hospital with her father trailing behind her - and with that one glimpse of theirs, she had seen the world that she once created with years of love and happiness devastating to nothingness. She was reminded of how she never once blinked while her world kept falling apart every time her parents failed to look past those scars of hers. She was reminded of the mirror that had caught her eyes and causing her to yearn for that reflection of hers despite the numerous discreet attempts of her mother to make her look away perhaps only to shield her from the reality that clung to her like a leech. And there, she was once again reminded of the moment when she saw everything fading away and dissolving far away from her when she had seen the bruised and battered side of her face - despite the perpetual efforts of others to conceal it from those longing and meandering eyes of hers. And how could she never be reminded of those accursed three seconds that made her lose every tad of the being that she once used to be before becoming the hollow nutshell of the girl she once was?

Rubbing her palms across the aching temples of her head, she rested her shoulders against the cold headboard of the bed while her mind relentlessly swirled from every snippet of the past that kept unfolding behind those lids of her eyes. Her head kept banging against the skull as those three seconds and every moment that they held iterated yet again to make her ruminate how she no longer believed in what people cleped as love. And there, she could see it again - that face of the man who had held the bottle of acid in his hands only to deem it as a way of vengeance. She could once again see that face of the man who had his fingers curled around that bottle triumphantly before throwing its contents right at her face only because he lacked the strength to endure rejection. She could see once again - the curve of wickedness that had erupted on that man's mouth upon leaving her scarred for the rest of her life only because she couldn't reciprocate the love that he once had claimed to hold dearly for her.

 She could see that man once again, and the way he had walked away from her rejoicing in the victory that his sickening and conscienceless soul gave him while setting her flesh on fire by the hands of the love that she once had rebuffed- a fire that kept burning until it left her incapacitated to believe in love anymore. And there, she could see the countless times her heart had been stabbed and smashed, hopelessly exploding into zillion of shards that made the hollow chambers of her heart to bleed and crack upon seeing the dear ones who once claimed to love her now evading her while rending themselves apart from her, and from the scars that were irrefutably inscribed in her flesh. And there, she could see those dreams that she once had woven along with her dear ones only to be left unrealized as every person whom she had loved from the depth of her being failed to stand by her rather discarded her from their lives only because they held the valor to embrace her beauty but not the past that left her scarred. And there, she could see the several eves when her soul never stopped fragmenting until an unknown and everlasting emptiness seeped into its pits that remained entirely barren every time she cognized the hidden fright and dread that laid underneath the shallow condolences and laments of the dear ones who once claimed pull her through every storm and explore. And there, she could see those quotas of hope that she did her best to raise and never let go only to be crushed by the incessant stares from the society that had been too coward to accept her unlike formerly and too hapless to hear those bewails of hers for the equity that she deserved. And there she could see, how three seconds were all it had taken for every fantasy and fallacy to wilt away - only to leave behind a coldness of the reality that she couldn't abandon anymore rather witness every time she felt the broken heart, the shattered soul and the scarred flesh of hers.

Letting out a sigh, she tried to calm the uncontrollable pace that her heart never ceased to quit all this time while the walls seemed to closed in on her. She traced the ragged surface of her face, letting the coldness of her fingertips to soothe away the sting that still pierced through them. A tentative yet biting bolt of pain searingly spread across the burnt side of her face when she remembered those incurable three seconds that led to god knew how many days, nights and hours that she had spent in the bottomless pit of misery and pity formed by the horridness of the man-made societal norms. She remembered the days she had spent confined to this very room of hers only to be away from the people who threw half-hearted pathos every time her scars and wounds caught the eyes of theirs. She remembered the afternoons that she had pulled herself through with several pieces of fabrics keeping her veiled from the people who used to repugnantly look away from her for they never had the courage to sew the scar that still caused her to bleed with anguish. She remembered the multiple nights where awful convulsions raged through her body as her mind was too tired of burying the past that kept coming to light every time people around her kept eluding the very presence of hers. She remembered those hours of miserable wails that kept breaking out of her and dragging her to the abyss that held the least will of living a life with an identity that was imperishably marked by the blotches of an acid.

Streaks of yellow and red peeped through the half-drawn curtains, casting a shimmer across the window that still remained closed. She felt it - the luster of warmth that beckoned to her, that longed her presence to come and let it overshadow the darkness of the past. She padded towards the window, curling her soft yet bruised fingers around the latch as she snapped it open. And once again, the memories of those three seconds resuscitated right amid the vibrant sky of the dawn. But this time, her mind didn't throb violently as the scraps of that horrifying past commenced playing apparently across the vision of her eyes. But this time, her body didn't tear apart as the scars of that horrifying past scratched and scathed the side of her face. But this time, her soul didn't seep out of her and scattered bit by bit underneath her wobbling feet as the numbness from that horrifying past once again threatened to smother her. For this time, she recalled those three mere seconds as the seconds that made her come across the self of hers that she never knew could have existed before.

She reminisced the times when after years of becoming a prisoner of her own mind, she had yanked the piles of veils away from that side of her face - the face upon which the tale of her valor and fortitude was written boldly. She reminisced the months that impelled her to step out of the cage of her own mind and compelled the masses of beings to break their silence and ignorance. She reminisced the weeks that went by with her gaining the reins of her life back and no longer living in that abyss of self-pity and shackles of the shallow mankind. She reminisced the mornings and nights filled with the sheer incandescence of survival that nudged her to weave her way through every odd that was stacked up against the combative spirit of hers. She reminisced the hours when she continued to walk with her head held high and never once bringing her gaze down rather looking ahead with the sole determination of nurturing those shreds of dreams and concluding them with fulfillment - the very dreams that were once shredded by that splash of acid. She reminisced the minutes that she had gone through while staring at those scars that now adorned her flesh and never once looking away from them for these were the ones that rekindled the flame of certain confidence in the core of her being that was once eradicated by that one bottle of acid. She reminisced the seconds through which she had pulled herself together with a newfound curve resting victoriously on those lips of hers that vanquished every cry of agony and despair that had been unheard. She reminisced those three seconds that pushed her to the verge of utter hopelessness only to bring out the strength that she retained by embracing every vulnerability of hers, along with the past that once destroyed not only the beloved identity of hers but also her will to live.

Laying flat on her back, she basked in the warmth of the rays of the sun that had finally risen from its slumber. These weren't just simple rays of light, rather were the anchor to her sinking soul- everlastingly urging her to get up and brace the new day that awaited her presence and incomparable courage. These weren't just simple rays filled with the similar hues of orange that were now painted across the sky, rather were the companions of her solitude - everlastingly beckoning her to stand on her feet and show the world the power that it still lacked when it came to acceptance of one's strengths and vulnerabilities.

She ran the tips of her fingers stoically along the side of her face, but this time not once quivering - for now, she knew that once again a battle held its abeyance, and awaiting her only to let her emerge not as a victim but as a survivor.