if you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything

A few months ago, my phone buzzed with notifications; a stranger had commented on one of my pictures. ‘Your makeup scares me’ and ‘You look unnatural.’ It was during lockdown– I’d begun experimenting with makeup. I had finally accepted myself after years of being trolled for who I was. ⠀

When I was in school, a teacher asked me to drop my pants in front of the class to prove what my gender was. I’ve been questioned about my sexuality all my life– people have asked, ‘If you’re a boy who has feminine traits, why don’t you join a girl’s school?’ I’ve been called every name in the book and I thought I’d become immune to the ridicule. ⠀

But that troll’s comments hurt me; he didn’t know me and was judging. My instinct was to delete the comments. ‘But if I delete them, maybe he’ll comment again,’ I thought. I wanted to block him too, but how would that help? My troller obviously didn’t understand that people could have different sexualities.⠀

So I composed myself and sent him a message–‘Thank you for your feedback, I thought I was getting better at using makeup! It wasn’t my intention to scare you.’ And soon, I got a reply from him– it said, ‘I didn’t expect such a warm response. You have my respect. I thought you’d insult me. I hope I didn’t hurt you?’ Unexpectedly, we began chatting!⠀

He apologized. Instead of belittling him, I said, ‘I’d love to improve on myself; I’m trying.’ He was taken aback and said that he didn’t mean to offend me; I forgave him. I realized he made a mistake and if replied negatively, we both would’ve hurt each other more. ⠀

And my biggest win was having my troller start following me! Today, we call each other friends. We talk regularly and like each other’s pictures. He even comments things like, ‘You look amazing!’ and ‘I love your style!’ Through this, my friend has grown so much; he’s open minded and understanding!⠀

I can’t emphasize how important it is for us to be kind to each other on social media. Online abuse is not cool and I’d love to see it stop. Look around you, isn’t there enough suffering as is? Why make someone on the internet who you don’t even know feel bad? It’s simple, if you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything.