I Am What I Am

“HI CHILDREN, GOOD MORNING. How are you doing today?” the miss Raghavi said.

“Good morning miss,” the whole class roared like the bunch of lions.

“Great, today I am not going to take science class,” she looked at the boys’ side to know their reaction and continued, “because I know you are bored of reading this subject. So, let’s do something interesting,” her eyes twinkled in the corners. Her face looked as beautiful as the fresh morning sun, glowing soft orange color. Her eyes were dark brown, kajal was applied neatly and it elevated her glamor multifold. What more impressive was the light purple sari she wore, it made her look quite like Cinderella. She smelled of flowers.

“Heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy,” the small boys beeped in enthusiasm. On the other side, the girls didn’t make noise but looked at each other surprisingly as if their parents told them to go for a theme park.

“Be quiet. Be quiet,” the miss said. Her long hand came down and slapped on the desk lightly. A plume of white dust rose high and made her almost choked. But she didn’t cough. She batted it away.

There was a sudden hum reverberated in the class now. The children became polite and thickened their concentration level as if they were going to listen to a fairy tale.

“Boys and girls, answer my question. Who wants to become an engineer?” she said as her eyes lingered on the boys for few seconds and moved towards the girls’ side. “Raise your hands now.”

There were low murmuring voices echoed in the classroom. You could also hear the slow whirring sound come from the window as the air sneaked in. This is a big private school, but the air conditioner was turned off because it was chilling December month. When the boys travelled in the yellow buses today morning, they almost shivered due to biting cold in the air.

There were twenty-five hands raised in the classroom, fifteen of them boys and remaining were girls. The total strength of the classroom was sixty, as boys were slightly exceeded by five members.

The miss gave a soft nod and said, “Wow, that’s pretty high response. Now tell me who are wanted to become doctors?”

But to her surprise, fifteen girls raised their hands along with ten boys.

“Okay, girls scores in this, eh?” the miss said and shook her head delicately.

The small boy Ravinder who sat in the middle, turned his head slowly to know if his close friend Bhavya had raised her hand. But she didn’t. Ravinder had raised his hand earlier to become an engineer. It wasn’t his decision actually; in fact, it was implanted in his brain by his parents who kept telling him to become a software engineer. Even though he still didn’t know what a software engineer does, he thought it was a flashy job in our country. His parents already told him he should start preparing for JEE-main classes from the fifth standard which means the next year. Could you believe it? They had even found a coaching center to let him train from now on. These days parents were over-anxious about their children and pushing them beyond their limits and suffering them intensively in the name of their career. Don’t you think so?

“What about remaining students?” the miss glanced at the second row of the girls’ side. She knew Bhavya was a bright student and she always came as a topper in the class. “Bhavya you didn’t raise your hand, why?”

She slowly rose from her seat and said, “I wanted to become a politician.”

“What?” the miss almost collapsed on the floor.

There was a pin drop silence in the classroom. The children reacted as if she had told them an unpronounceable disease name.

“Yes miss, I really want to serve for this nation. If every good student wants to become an engineer and doctor, then who will serve our country? Only the students who failed and corrupted people?” she said stubbornly. There was a bright light shone on her small eyes. Her young and smooth face conveyed storming emotions.

A moment, the miss felt her mouth was tied and couldn’t open at all. Not a single nerve thrived with energy in her, and she was abandoned by the little girl’s swooping answer.

“Yeah, that’s right,” the miss said, her words came out slowly like she was talking to her beau for the first time. “I haven’t expected you would tell this. I really admire your answer. I value your opinion highly. If everyone starts to think like you then our country can remove poverty just like that. Yes, we need the right people in the right places, if we can get this thing done, half of our burden will be reduced. I don’t know how you got such guts in this early age. Your parents asked you to become a politician?”

The miss knew she was talking big words with the children, she even doubted if they could understand her. But Bhavya’s enthusiastic response made her to pour her thoughts on them. She wanted to see the children interact with her boldly. When she was studying fifth standard a miss asked the same question to her, but when she said she wanted to become a great painter like Ravi Varma, the miss laughed and mocked at her for choosing an unrealistic goal. Even her parents dissuaded her, finally, she had given up her passion and become a teacher.

“No miss, this is my response. I am entirely responsible for what decision I make,” Bhavya said.

“Boys and girls give a big applause for this woman,” the miss said in a brisk tone.

The claps boomed in the classroom as Ravinder kept seeing his friend. He felt like shaking hands with her. He was so happy that the miss was appreciating her.

Kailash who was sitting next to Ravinder, rose from his seat and said, “Why should we clap for this girl? She is telling this answer just to impress you.” He had a stubby face and rotund arms and legs. His tucked blue shirt at right side hung loose and part of his hair was messy and spread wider.

He never liked her. He thinks she was the reason why the class teachers beat him hard for scoring low marks, pointing out how Bhavya always scored higher than the others.

“Because you didn’t deserve it,” the miss said. Her cheeks were flaring red, and she clutched the bamboo stick in her hand as if she was going to beat him now.

“Miss, my mother said I would become a government employee, you know?” Kailash said. His face was exploded with a proud gait. His right leg was lightly shaking.

“How?” the miss almost screamed now. She didn’t like to talk with this boy at all, but she can’t avoid him either. It was like a bug caught her neck and making her snivel now.

“Last Friday, my mother pulled me to a fortune teller who had a pair of parrots in a small cage. He asked the parrot to take a lucky card from the pack of cards. The parrot grabbed a card for me and the fortune teller told that I would marry twice and live like a king because I will get a government job,” Kailash said.

The entire class plunged into smiles, and even the miss smiled cupping her mouth with her long fingers. She looked so beautiful and her long hair shook lightly.

“Tell me what kind of government job it is?” she asked, still smiling.

Kailash mused with fused eyes and didn’t know what type of answer he had to give now. He raked his brain without any convincing replies.

“I think I will sit behind a high table,” he raised his right hand above his head and continued, “and writing my signs on the papers. If I ring a bell, a peon would come and bring tea for me, you know,” he said convincingly.

There were big chuckles now. Ravinder nodded and laughed sportively. Kailas kicked on his ankle with his shoe cladded foot. Ravinder screeched in pain. But miss didn’t notice it.

“Hey, our country will not become an economic powerhouse even after two hundred years if people like you become government employees,” the miss said. “This is the problem. Everyone wanted government jobs, thinking it is the easiest thing to do in the world. If people fail to work hard in the office, then good things won’t reach to the society. Unless until everyone does their job well, we can’t bring fortune to our country,” she heaved a big sigh. She knew it wasn’t the response she had intended to give for this crooked boy. But her thoughts were gushing out of her mind as water gushes out of the brimming river.

“Shall I sit down now?” Kailash asked her.

“Huh?” the miss blinked. She felt like pulling him down through the aisle and give a whack on his buttocks. She threw an enervated face instead. “Yeah, but don’t try become a government employee, okay?” she folded her both hands in front of him.

There was a dull headache formed on her forehead, she knew the reason behind it. She felt like she would have taken science class instead of talking such life lessons with them. But her worry was ephemeral.

She immediately glanced at Bhavya and said, “I wanted everyone to think like you. Boys and girls, if you are good at something you should keep doing what you love despite other’s dirty comments. There is always going to be a challenge in your life for sure. But you shouldn’t lower your self-confidence. You should keep working toward your goals. Your hard work never goes vain, it will be with you all the time. You may lose money, but not your talent. Ask not what this country people did for you, but ask what you did to them. That’s the right way to approach our life. That’s the right way to live a steady life.

If Abdul Kalam had thought himself a poor child like him can’t aim to become a scientist, we would have still struggled to send a rocket to the sky. If Ambedkar had thought it was impossible to bring justice to the lower caste, the Dalits would have still struggled to find a space in our country. They believed themselves, and they had a strong faith in whatever they had conceived in their hearts, they knew that they can fight against the odds and did it vociferously. If every person in our country would have started thinking like such noble-hearted souls, I am damn sure we would make our country a developed country within five years. It is possible. But we need to believe first,” the miss wondered if the children were grasping what she was talking. But she didn’t mind it, she wanted to pour her overwhelming thoughts unto the children, who are the future of our nation, “see, my kids. It is simple. Whoever has self-belief and steady focus on their goals can achieve anything they wanted. You should have such an unfaltering concentration and dedication on whatever you do. If you can do this, I think I consider you are the richest person in the world. Money alone can’t bring happiness. Happiness revolves around the people who have good thoughts, healthy body and mind, and showing generosity towards others.”

“You mean I can become a big person like Dr. Abdul Kalam?” Ravinder said as rose from his seat.

“Of course you do. Only thing is that it will take time to grow up,” the miss said, a smile leaked out of her cherry lips.

“Now tell me what you wanted to become?” the miss asked him.

“Miss….miss don’t tell this to my parents. If you tell this, they will beat me like anything, you know,” Ravinder said. His voice was choking and gasping intermittently.

“Tell me, I don’t share with them,” the miss said.

He swallowed a lump down his throat and said, “I wanted to become a police officer. I wanted to arrest people whoever does wrong. Miss, you know one thing, I can tell all the police rankings now. I am so much interested in it. Even last week, I had gone to meet DGP in his house, but he wasn’t there. I wanted to ask him if he can come to our school for the flag hoisting ceremony in the coming August 15th Independence Day.”

The miss almost cried now. You could see her white pupils were scurrying hither and thither in her eye sockets. She was touched by his gingerly talk, the more she heard him the more she felt like weeping. It was like her kid was sharing a deep concern with her.

“Oh, what an inspiring kid you are. I love you Ravinder,” the miss said and wiped the corner of her left eye with her thumb finger. “I think I have succeeded today by interacting with everyone closely. I had never taken such an energizing class in my life. I feel great about all of you. But tell me, why you have earlier told me to become an engineer, eh?”

He didn’t respond. A few seconds everyone nodded.

“Just because my parents miss,” he said, lowered his head.

The miss was ready to respond immediately, “I know my boy. I know how you would have felt whenever your parents thrust their opinion on your brain. I would say, this is the biggest evil force in our society hampering us that aspiring people can’t become what they loved to become. If a person can’t happy with what he does, what is the point of earning much, eh? You always remember one thing. Your top priority is to be happy and at the same time working hard to fulfil your duties at best. Money should never be your main goal. It is just a byproduct, you know. If you do your work, you will get the reward for what you did certainly. That’s what God proclaims in Puranas. Never estimate one’s status based on money alone, but the way the person lives. I mean, the person who knows how to live happily even in difficult situations, he should be worshipped. You should learn from him,” she said.

“Ok miss,” Ravinder said and followed by everyone in the classroom.

The bell rang in the distance.

“Fine my children. I am leaving now. Will meet you again tomorrow,” the miss said and stood up. Her heart was signing melody now as if she had gained so much in a quick second. She had never felt such happiness before, but for the first time.

Bavya came close to Ravinder and clasped his hands and rushed to play in the ground. It was PT hour.