THE MONKEY WHO LOVED CHOCOLATE

Theo, the star of our popular story The Monkey Who Loved Chocolate, returns for a new escapade in which the animals at the zoo face a major threat to the comfy lifestyle in the form of Mr Shingles, the new chief zoo keeper.

Mr Shingles does not believe in modern zoology. He thinks that pampering to animals’ every wish just encourages them to lounge and loaf around. His new regime is far from the animals liking. The animals want to “bite back” – but only Theo is ingenious enough to find a way.

Life in the zoo was not as exciting as on the outside, but it had its attractions. The daily menus catered for everyone’s tastes. Some liked berries, others liked bananas. Some hungered for steak, others for fresh termites. The food just turned up every day, and nobody had to hunt or gather. The animals didn’t even have to tidy up their own cages or make their beds with fresh straw. The keepers did all that for them.

The keeper of the monkeys’ cage was called Mr Hartley. He was a sweet man, and if the truth be told, a bit of a softy. Anything the monkeys screeched for, he provided – almost always. The chief monkey, whose name was Bozo, wanted a television so that he could watch Animal Planet. At first Mr Hartley could not understand what he was squawking on about, but he saw that Bozo was pointing to the video screenthat displayed important information for the visitors. He tried turning it off, but that agitated Bozo even more. Then he twigged what was in the monkeys’ mind, and he went out and bought the latest flat panel TV and put it in the window of his office where Bozo and his followers could watch it.

But such a life of luxury could not go on forever, and it didn’t.

 

After Theo’s famous escape and his chocolate-crazed escapade, the zoo was noticed in high places. The local newspaper ran a headline that read:

 

“Slack Security at the Zoo.”

And a local politician ran for election under the slogan:

 

“Time to get tough on the animals.”

 

Pressure mounted for change. The head zookeeper lost his job. The new zoo boss was a man of a very different ilk. His name was Mr Shingles, and he held old-fashioned views about how animals should be kept. He didn’t believe in trendy modern zoology. He thought that pandering to animals’ every demand just encouraged them to laze and loaf around. He knew that hisviews were out of step with modern thinking, and he felt bitter because he had risen slowly through the ranks of the zoo service. But now the town’s Mayor had recognised his talents. His day had come.

On his first morning at work, he toured the zoo. When he came to the monkeys, he could hardly believe his eyes.

 

“Who is the keeper of this cage?” 

 

“I am Sir,” admitted Mr Hartley.

 

“Well it’s a disgrace!” shouted Mr Shingles. “Monkeys lounging around watching television in the middle of the morning. They’ll turn into TV zombies. Take their 

Googl-box immediately!”

And Mr Hartley had no choice, but to do as he was told. It didn’t matter how much Bozo screeched now – Mr Hartley did not dare to cater to his demands. 

Next Mr Shingles visited the part of the zoo called “The Kingdom of the Great Apes.” He was furious that the zoo’s prize gorilla was too shy to come out and greet him. “What’s the point of a hairy king who hides away?” he demanded to know. “Tell his majesty that the visitors have paid good money to see his ugly face, and in future he had better show it.”

And as he continued on his tour, he had plenty more to note about the animals – and none of it was good. The lion was asleep, the koalas were hanging around in one big daze, the stick insects were all but invisible, the bears were hiding in their lairs, the penguins were pushing and shoving at feeding time, the hippos were letting off great gusts of wind, and the baboons were showing their bottoms to the visitors

He gathered the keepers round and delivered this message:

 

“There are far too many scroungers, layabouts, and freeloaders in this zoo. I want every primate – and yes that includes the keepers – I want every quadruped, every bird, fish, reptile and every last tiny insect to understand this: From now on, if they want to eat, they must provide value for money!”

He gave special instructions to Mr Hartley. He must make the monkeys do some scientific tests and prove their worth.

 

“Idle hands do the devil’s work,” he said. “Keep those monkey minds occupied and they will stay out of trouble.”

 

Mr Hartley tried to explain that it was all very well to teach chimps to do clever tricks, but monkeys had smaller brains.

But Mr Shingles boomed back: “Those monkeys aren’t stupid, they’re just lazy.”

 

And so poor Mr Hartley spent his days trying to teach the monkeys to count to three and to read the newspaper. None of them showed an inclination to learn their lessons, except for one, and that was Theo. “Well well, well,” said Mr Hartley. “So it turns out that the naughtiest monkey of them all is the brainiest.”

Life changed dramatically for all the other animals too. The keepers kept the lion awake by mixing coffee into his cat food, they cut back the Koalas’ eucalyptus leaves, they sealed up the bears’ lairs, they painted the stick insects bright blue, and they did not feed the penguins until they stood in an orderly line. The hippos were put on diets. As for the baboons, they weren’t allowed out of their rooms until they learned to show some respect to the visitors.