#Hazel Sheratz11 mins 1.2K 11 mins 1.2K
The little streaks of winter sunshine perfectly escaped the dense heavy trees of Malleshwaram to reach Hazel. The sun today was smiling at her, increasing the charm on her face and was witnessing a 'love @ first sight' moment. They both were in equal awe looking at each other. They held the same feeling; the one they could never express in words! A quick pause in both of their routine lives just to make them realize that they had found each other.
Hazel hesitated because she knew that breaking this one rule will lead to breaking almost all of them. But because, destiny never took a backseat when love was the case; their first ever conversation happened. It was just an introduction though but the feel they shared made magnetic fields conflict. The Supreme wanted to gift her something more than she would expect; the magical feel of first love.
She was enjoying the lake side breeze when she received a call saying that someone special wanted to wish her birthday too. The "Hello" from Sheratz she heard after that was more than just a greeting.
They met, they spoke, they felt, spent 3 hours of their lives together. She cherished them, he treasured them. She got her first ever bullet ride. He got a forever girl for the backseat. Neither of them wanted to part not for now but for never. She had always been hasty in making decisions and here another important one was made.
They met almost daily, the bond increased, memories were built; first chocolate, first ice cream, first hug, first movie, first kiss...and many such other firsts where given chances but none ready to make "the" first move. The guy wouldn't because he had promises to be kept which the girl didn’t know and the girl wouldn't because she wasn't sure yet not about the guy but about love. She for sure knew that he wasn’t just a passing cloud but....and then many such buts entered the frame.
Days passed by, months passed by, love only increased but it wasn't somehow enough to keep them together. She still found him special but wanted to get over him. And all this while, he was trying to keep his broken pieces to himself. They kept meeting but because their relationship didn’t have a name as such, their meetings turned awkward. They wouldn't share what they felt, may be hurting each other was the last thing they wanted to do, because of which they could never know each other.
The feel flourished in them, they never let it go.
Then came a day; when Sheratz confessed. Hazel broke, equally did Sheratz. Not because they didn’t want to wait anymore but because they had to stop waiting. All these months, 7 months to be precise; Sheratz was bound by a promise to keep and the promise was being loyal to a girl who loved him to the moon and back. The girl wasn't Hazel. It was Luvlie. Sheratz always said,
"I wish I had met you before I met Luvlie, things would have been way too different."
Somehow, time played it's role. The girl named Luvlie exists in Sheratz's life and thus the pause button to #Hazel_Sheratz. But, feels flourish day in day out!!!
"I am done with it, yaa" said Hazel. She wasn't amongst those who believed in unrequited love. Only if the love she gave was coming back to her, she would continue else it was a "waste of time", just as she would phrase it! She was practical enough to not believe in the actual concept of love which stated selflessness. Hardly, did she know what life had in store for her.
In the meanwhile, Sheratz was still battling with his fate. He did want to write his story but wasn't sure enough to challenge life itself. I can assure you that it wasn't 'confusion', because both girls namely Hazel and Luvlie were out of comparison. Where Hazel was everything a person could be straight out of extra ordinary imagination, Luvlie had looks to die for (as quoted by $heratz) and a girl that every guy would wish for. Both were equally outgoing and extroverts. Time decided to play its role and Hazel had to back out.
Let's give justice to Luvlie as well by considering her point of view. So, she loved $heratz and $heratz loved her too. Its supposed to end there, right!? Happy together, more importantly love each other, like no issues at all but nah... that's not what it is!! Human Relationships "seem" to be heaven on earth but that's not the reality. Love, Trust, Forgiveness, Quality time, Understanding are all vital aspects of being in a relationship. Love does matter, but the absence of even one of these vital aspects will not only ruin the relationship but also break the people associated with it.
The actual concept of love states selflessness which isn't a piece of cake. And Mr. Sheratz and Ms. Luvlie didn't exactly know this part of it. This brings us to whether Hazel knew this part of the relationship and if yes was she ready for it. Was she actually wanting a commitment!? What did she want!?
The day had started off with extreme bliss. Hazel's instincts' told her that it was going to be a perfect day. After the breakfast which she skips on other days, she dressed up, had a happy go lucky conversation with her parents and left for the college.
She attended her classes, did the same masti, enjoyed with friends just like any other day! The day @ college ends there being just perfect. Hazel and Yanshika(@Hazel's soul sissie) walk out of the college discussing a real serious topic. The topic was but naturally "themselves".
"Hellllo..." and in a jiffy both knew, it was Sheratz and turned towards him. A group of six people now stood around Sheratz discussing life. While Hazel was still trying to digest that Sheratz had come over even without being given a call. "So, how's Luvlie doing?" asked one of them and the words struck Hazel like a stone.
"I am out of here guys, see ya later." said Hazel.
Sheratz held her hand and said, "Wait!". There started the background music (kyunki tum hi ho.....), the cold breeze, the slo mo feature had been chosen! Because.......this had never happened before!
Coming back, "She's doing fine but she's past" said Sheratz referring to Luvlie. "!!!???¿¿"...all the possible question marks on Hazel's face were clearly visible now. "Here are the psychology textbooks that you asked for...sorry for the delay. The bullet keys and me, myself at your service to teach how your Royal Enfield works ." said Sheratz as he handed over himself to his girl.
No 1. "S-O-R-R-Y" ...this word coming from Sheratz is like not happening. The word doesn't exist in his dictionary.
No 2. "The bullet keys".......The Royal Enfield is his forever love and handing those over to Hazel is like "OMG"!!!!
No 3. Let's not even discuss the third one.....Hazel already feels out of the world. All the self love stuff going out of her head page by page.
But is this all happening in real...
"We start today...?" asked Sheratz Hazel was speechless, but she had to make a few things clear.
"Explain Sheratz!" pleaded Hazel.
"I will sweetie... Let's leave for now!" replied Sheratz.
Each one of them was awestruck because #Hazel_Sheratz wasn't new for anyone.
"I am taking her away from you guys for an hour or so, see ya later" said Sheratz "But..." the least her senses could speak.
And they walked away, Hazel still looking for answers. Sheratz held her hand as if he were to say, they are never going to apart.
He smiled, looked into her eyes and said "Trust me!".
This was turning out to be heavens on earth for Hazy. Cloud nine feeling had taken over her. Sheratz had made his mind on never letting her go.
"What's going on Sheratz...?", pleaded Hazel.
Hazel wanted it clear so that things didn't get out of hand in the later stage. The past taught her to take risks but "calculative risks" only *even if it was just her dream*.
After a long pause "I love you. Will you be mine for the rest of your life?" proposed Sheratz.
This feeling was now not anymore cloud nine or butterfly for Hazel. It was questions everywhere which Sheratz conveniently chose not to answer. They had "a cup of coffee", which wasn't able to bring out it's magic in soothing Hazel today! It was late evening and they had to part. He planted a soft kiss on her lips still not answering the questions.
With no doubts, any person who was asked would say that her instincts came true and it was indeed a perfect day for her! After all, 18 months passed by before she got Sheratz confess his love meaning that, the time she waited was all worth. But no, her happiness had gone for a toss! No amount of analysing or chocolates could help solve the queries. Bringing her to answering the prior question, being " What did she really want?" To which she answered in a letter to herself –
Before I as the author write this letter, let me bring to your notice that; we humans have got answers to everything.. It's just that we are afraid to accept those answers thus deny their existence!
Now coming to Hazel's answer....
She wrote as follows,
Letter to self:
Friendship had never felt like my cup of coffee. I always thought that friendship is over rated. Yanshika entered, changed my perspective on friendship and we became #SOUL SISSIES. Similarly, when it comes to dear LOVE; I knew it was attainable and I also attained it. I love myself not anyone else.
But when someone like Sheratz enters my life, imbalance happens! I had never thought that there would be a guy on planet Earth who could move me sooooooooo much. Just imagine, I ended up choosing him over self love. And the imbalance continues when I get to see him daily. It worsens when all my friends are pairing us up and are calling it a match made in heavens. Adding to that imbalance is Sheratz chooses or was forced to choose someone else over me( hazel's ego kicks in there_ how can it be someone else and not me ). To an extent, you could call all this drive to be the attraction, infatuation, XY chromosomes effect or simply because of teenage but for sure not love coz it's not in my books to give this selfless love!
So, coming to the conclusion that I never wanted to have a relationship with Sheratz (I am highly commitment phobic); I just wanted him to feel what I felt for him i.e., infatuation which is supposed to be quite common! Infatuation is quite a simple feeling but when complex people (like me who are always up for over thinking) are associated, then even infatuation can turn out to be complicated!!
Go and convey this to Sheratz right away before he comes up to you and refers to Ms. Luvlie as past!
Thus, a dream became the drive for Hazel to figure out what she exactly wanted from Sheratz! Because now life would be easier with an answer that is accepted.
It was high time that the fantasies took a back seat, and reality took some real decisions. All the queries in Hazel's head were getting answered with just one dream. Felt like, the tangled ear plugs were now taken care of in the best way possible: Acceptance!!
It was about two days after Hazel had lived that dream of "#Sheratz agreed"!
At the movie theatre, watching Geeta Govindam (romantic genre) along with Yanshika and other friends;
Its almost interval and Hazel finds Sheratz online. She quickly drafts a message and is about to type send, she re-reads it, rephrases a few statements, hits the send button with shivering hands. All that she wanted was perfection because drawing a conclusion to what she felt for Sheratz wasn't an easy journey. She wanted to do justice to the journey. It was going to be an end to "the love story" that Hazel had built in her head. It was embracing her way of life all over again without Sheratz in it.
The message she typed read as follows:
Sheratz, (this was because HRM classes taught her to refer to people with their name; if you want to grab their attention) I am at PVR watching Geeta Govindam, believe me it's the best movie of romantic genre that I have seen in my life. It's worth a watch for all couples and I seriously suggest you to take Luvlie along for this one.
I know it's weird that 'I' am asking you to take her along with you but isn't it supposed to be that way? You both are made for each other. And are sorting the way of life with each other's significant presence.
I always felt that "I loved you" and "You are meant to be mine" but that isn't completely true. I felt something deep for you but who says that every deep feel is love, it's not. I dreamt of spending my time with you but never dreamt of being a mother to your kids.
Two nights back, when I dreamt of we being together as a couple; it scared the hell out of me. I realised I never wanted a commitment from you. All that I craved for was your attention and your acceptance of me. You didn’t make me feel special and it increased my urge to fight for attention. And when you introduced Luvlie as your girl, she instantly became the villain in my love story which I now realised was not a love story. But then, I repeat "I only crave for your friendship and acceptance; only those first few days that we spent, back in my life forever! I don't seek selfless love because I am not capable of loving you back."
Sheratz, pleading isn't my way, I am used to conquering; but in your case, I plead so that I can get friendship back. Coming to a conclusion, all that I can say is I never wished any bad for you and I apologize to Luvlie if I have ever hurt her.
As expected, the grey ticks turned blue but no reply was received. Unlike before, it didn't bother Hazel anymore! She made her choice, put forth a proposal of friendship but didn't expect a positive.
She offered a wide smile to the ceiling above her and a thanks to beyond the ceiling!!
Thank you all for living my dream patiently.