Haunted Memories

It was a cool and breezy summer afternoon and I was driving along the foothills of the green paradise otherwise known as Waynad, a district located in Kerala, India. I was travelling with my hubby from Kozhikode in a car and enjoying the full forged works of nature along the way. This 100-kilometre journey takes roughly four hours to reach. After the car passes the town, the pace of the ride will be slowed down eventually because of the twisted hairpin bend roads. Dozens of these hairpin bends are built one after the other vertically structuring the road. The fog became denser and denser as the journey towards Waynad continues.

As we reached the final few hairpin bends, my hubby and I got into a quarrel. My eyes were fixed on the road but my focus was on the fight. I hit a bump on the road which made the car to skid. The rain which sprinkled a few hours ago made the road slippery. I lost control of the car and was going straight towards the end of the road towards the safety wall. This wall was constructed decades back and does not have the capacity to resist an uncontrollable Scorpio heading towards it. My hubby realizing this; turned the steering wheel towards the right side. The car turned immediately and I tried to regain the control but I did not see a motorist coming from the side. The car hit the motorist eventually stopping near the lamp post.

The motorist fell a few meters apart in the middle of the road. After I regained my conscious I found out that my hubby was lying unconscious next to me with a few bruises on his head. I freaked out seeing this and reached out to help him. Unfortunately, my seat belt would not let me loose. “The belt is stuck,” I said to myself in a calm manner although I was freaking out from the inside. I tried hard to reach him and wake him up but he would not wake up. Gradually I remembered that I also hit a motorist during the accident. My hands became numb, yet I could see it shake. I did not know what to do since we were in the middle of nowhere. There was none in the proximity of the accident. I also don’t know the location of the nearest hospital. I instantly became feverish and I could not think straight anymore. I could hear my breathing gradually stop and my consciousness started to fade.

My eyes were about to close when I realised that my baby was kicking inside my stomach. I have three lives depending on me and that thought allowed me to refocus. I began to breathe properly and fought against my numbness and began to think. Since we were almost near Waynad I decided to drive towards Waynad after switching on my GPS. I got out of the car to check the motorist. I decided to take him to the hospital too. He was lying in the middle of the ground near his red and white colour Yamaha R-15 bike with a quote sticker at the rear end of the bike which read “I see you”. I checked his pulse, he was alive. I removed his helmet. He regained his consciousness and started to murmur. “Help,” He said the word “help” repeatedly. He was a young-looking lad, a bit on the chubby side with brown eyes, thick eyebrows, curly hair and a square chin with a dimple.

When I tried to lift him I realised that there was a huge deep cut in his head and he was lying under a huge pool of blood. I got mortified looking at that sight. I tried to lift but I did not have the strength. My body felt weak. I started dragging his body near my car when I felt something. My water just broke. I did not know what to do. I would not be able to carry the guy to the car in this instance. My water just broke, my baby is ready to come out and my hubby is inside the car dying. I could not prioritise life over another life. Over-analysing the scenario made me sick. I could not come to a conclusion and lied down in the road holding my stomach and crying.

“I did what I had to do,” I said to myself and took a selfish decision which I regretted instantly. I drove past the motorist. The stare of his brown eyes and his cry for help killed me from the inside. I reached the hospital after fifteen minutes of driving only to realise that the intuition of my delivery was just a false alarm. “I could have helped the guy”, I thought and cursed myself. My hubby was admitted and it was later found out that his head hit hard on the car dashboard causing multiple concussions which later lead to him being in a state of coma.

After a few days in the hospital, the doctor discharged my hubby and recommended another doctor who can accelerate the process and bring him to a conscious state. I kept speaking to him in this state as per doctors recommendation. I started talking to him about my everyday chores. It was like talking to a human diary. On the day of discharge, I was very nervous about taking the same road back to Kozhikode. Unfortunately, there was no bus or car available on that day due to an industrial strike in that area. My hubby was seated next to me and I slowly came down the hairpin bend and was driving on that road. My hands were shivering and it became difficult for me to breathe. The unfortunate road lies ahead of me as I cautiously drive when suddenly out of nowhere a thick fog started to accumulate on the road. I could not see the road ahead.

After going on five km per hour for a few distances, I saw a bike lying on the left side of the road. My heart began to race. I avoided the bike and went through the right side of the road. As I was passing the bike, something caught my attention. I saw there was a sticker near the number plate which read “I see you”. I heard a noise from the back seat of my car. I was too frightened to turn back. I adjusted my rearview mirror and saw a guy seated on the back of the car wearing a helmet. I was in a shock and accelerated my car at full speed. My legs became numb and I could not take the leg off from the accelerator lever. The car kept on accelerating, bashed the safety bar and fell off the cliff. Fortunately, as the hairpin bent roads are one above other, the car crashed 200m into the road below.

The car was crashed upside down. I crawled out of the car but my left leg was badly injured and I could not walk. I started to cry thinking about my hubby. I could not help him in this state. I started calling for help. There was no one on the road but I wanted to save my unborn kid and my unfortunate hubby. I cried out for help for hours together and finally lost consciousness. I woke up after a day in a hospital. I was glad to know that my husband and my kid is safe. After getting discharged I was curious who admitted me and asked at the reception. They informed me that the guy who admitted me ran off before giving any information.

I settled back in with my hubby in our apartment. My mother started to live with me in order to support me and my hubby. She started to take him to the therapist to get him healed while I cried weeks together thinking about the motorist, whom I could have saved. I believed that it was my sin which caused my hubby to fall in a coma. I was praying to God every second of my life that my baby should be healthy when I give birth. Sleepless nights and nightmares were making it even worse and I started to fall sick soon.

I finally woke up from my thoughts when my doctor told me that my child might also get affected due to my mental and physical illness. I wanted to atone my sins. I decided to take care of the motorist’s family. I found out that he had a son. Every day I would decide to go to their house and confess everything. However, after stopping the car I would have second thoughts. I would not be able to face their emotions. They might want me dead. They might want my unborn child dead they might curse my child. I could not hear such things and live the rest of my life peacefully. I decided to take care of them anonymously. Since the wife works as a teacher in a school and also works part-time I figured they might be in need of money. I bribed the right people and found out their bank details. I started the deposit of money in their accounts every month. I knew that this will never be the same as her husband being there for her. However, that family is now my responsibility.

Decades passed and I continued to sponsor the family. The wife of the motorist got married to another person and her son is going to college now. My husband is out of the coma and is doing well these days. I gave birth to a baby girl who is celebrating her eighteenth birthday today. She looks so beautiful because of her unique physical traits. Her face was skinny yet it had a majestic look because of her naturally-sharp eyebrows. Her curly hair complimented her cute dimple chin and her brown eyes could tell tales beyond the universe. She is very fond of her motorbikes and is saving pocket money to buy one for herself in the future. It was not until she started to put on weight, she started to look like someone whom I chose to forget.