Finding Love

Jaipur, 2016

That day there were few people sitting in the café shop and outside was full of haziness and lightning thunderstorm with heavy rainfalls was glittering the hole town. At that time a man entered the café shop. I just pull the café shop door my three-inch heels slipped and fall into the floor, I quickly stand up and gather my wallets and mobile the man approached me and picked up the mobile before I had a chance to. Can I help you? The man asked. He had a long face, his tie was knotted loosely and the top two buttons of his shirt was undone. I was recalling that somewhere I also met that person but I can’t recollect him. And I am confused with what I do now. That guy who says his name at the book shop. Thank you I said with a mix of hesitation, he moved his hand I am Tushar do you remember?

Oh, yes, he smiled and said I think you are a little bit injured can sit inside in the café..I agreed because my leg already started paining.. He said I am photographer he replies. I asked Professionally or… Yes am working at times news photographer. Nice. And what about you? Nothing as such I am a chartered accountant. Oh that’s great,. I saw my wristwatch. Ok now I am leaving I said, barely controlling my shaking voice.

Why? He sneered. Actually I have a class ’at 4.30 so …then I could feel everybody’s eyes on me. My ears were becoming warm. No problem, If you don’t mind can I drop you. No Thanks, I take a bus. I nodded rushed away of the café. Then I met many times in many different places now we are turning a friend to good friends. Tushar was a nice photographer. He asked me many times why are you not take a photoshoot? I said I didn’t like. I don’t know why One night my mobile was buzzed a text message showing my mobile screen. Tushar txt me ‘Met at CCD (Café Coffee Day) tomorrow. After my college join at CCD Tushar already wait there..so, how was your day going? Umm good yours?

Today my week off. Oh, Ema, I need help from you. ‘Ya sure what kind of help you want? Listen I am writing a story. Oh that great I was getting excited so what was the name? Umm not decided yet. Okeh tell me the fact of your story? Tushar took a deep breath this story is about love. Wait you writing about love..ha-ha I laugh a little bit loudly the hole café people watching on me. Sorry’ I said to Tushar, It's ok. Ok did you know that many big authors already write about your topic? I knew. Then why should are trying to write this. I am writing not about love I am writing who finding love in life. I can’t understand.

See, every human being wants his/her love whatever the relation is father, mother, sister, lover or friends but somehow he/she can’t find or get the love which was really need to his/him maybe breakup, cheating or blackmail. I am right or wrong. A few minutes I get silence I can’t understand what I say? This is my main message to give my readers Tushar to stop his conversation. Well, at least we have to start to write. Yes but I can’t found a story to write can help me to find it yes why not, give me a few days I hope I will find a story for you.

The next day she shares the topic with her friends everyone appreciates this. I arranged a contest at an office that everybody writes their story and gives to me, and one winner story was based on the story and published. I can’t expect that a huge response and stories were submitted. I call Tushar that I get huge of stories to help to write. we met at CCD in evening and they are sitting in the same table .. I said very happily you know my all college students are submitted their stories and last night I read some stories that got out of my tears in my eyes here some few stories I was chosen now your choices I speared few bunches of stories papers on the table. Tushar smiled and pick one of the bunch. Ah, this is nice after a few minutes later Tushar said after reading this story. Who writes this? Tushar asked she said See on the last page. Yes, I get it. It's Kriti Sen. Maybe she said. Well let me read the stories then I decided

WE MET (TWO YEARS LATER)

Juhu, 2013 (Mumbai)

The sound of the sea, sound of the people, sound of the vehicles was hurt of the Mumbai. Mumbai, the air is saltier, the sea is Collier, the traffic is snarlier the pinks are pinker the ostentation is crazier but I had not time to appreciate the scene. Today my first interview day at ICICI Bank. I recheck my folder all documents were in order. I wear a formal white shirt with a black blazer and trousers with high heels ..after three year I survive and trying to update myself. I open my mail and check the interview time at 11.30 I can’t nervous but not happy not for a job somehow somewhere I miss very much.

The doorbell was ringing I open the doorAbhipsha was waiting outside..you are ready? she asked excitedly. Yes..let’s go. when I cross the breach candy road talking with mobile and right a man cross the road opposite side slipped out of my hand and fell to the hard road. I’m so sorry! I totally didn’t see you there, he apologized. Another few minutes of the public passed and watching the incidence. I pick up my mobile; the screen had a little bit shattered and it refused to turn on. Idiot, I muttered under my breath. I looked my wristwatch its twenty minutes already waist for this we need to rush out here.

Now fourteen minutes were there to reached there ..Abhipsha get her folder and bag and both we are running after five minutes late we are reached there..few candidates are still waiting beside the glass door. Thank god the interview is still running I taking a deep breath. Ms. Estella is the HR and admin of this company. I was the sixth number candidate to give interview. I was a little nervous I fell that my check was warmed and the heartbeat was a little bit fast After five minutes I take a call. Please sit. Mrs. Estella was noticed to sit.

Okay so, After my interview she was call the second round which was written exam. Now we have free time ,Abhipsha going to wash room and I go to visit the office Many employees are gathering there..Excuse me hello Ma’am, somebody calling me too far away but where the calling came I cant recognize then I saw a that man coming within the gathering ..he came in front of me I am so sorry for the accident ..I will pay for your mobile if u don’t mind, I apologies No No. its ok, it’s a minor damage my temper glass broken I will repair..he asked with smile so.. are doing job here? No I will come to give a interview and now I am waiting for the second round. Oh that nice..so which post you apply? CA I said. Ok ah, my name is Varun I also job here and good to see you. All the best..he could escape .. finally, I get the job, At night I sat of my bed, my hands draped over my knees as my mind raced thought to another thought.

My phone vibrated I was strolling down and looked at the sender, I didn’t know the number. Curious, I read text message congratulation Ma’am, who is this? I texted back. The Reply came in a few seconds I also senior CA Mr. Varun in your office…today we met at the café shop you remember, so tomorrow your reporting time ten o clock. I was surprised by the fact that it was Varun. I smiled again and type. yes sir, Tuesday morning I turned on the shower and dried myself.

I wear a red formal shirt with a black blazer, after all, today my first day. After I reached my office Varun already waiting for the café shop which was on the ground floor in the office building. I already reached thirty minutes earlier. Please sit, Varun said. So, do you want some coffee or anything, No thanks, I gave my brilliant smile, I crossed my legs and leaned back in my chair. Varun touches his lips in hot cream coffee, so, ms. Ema, how is your experience in yesterday's interview?? I looked up and blinked twice..Nice, I said softly..he again smiles..okay let go to in..Already time done.. I enter in a hall room which was in the south face in my left side nice decorated soundproof glass. I will see the whole Juhu beach and the buildings of Juhu ..there many new employees are there on the first day of the introduction.

Varun takes an introduction class..Share business stats etc etc..after office, I am waiting at vile Parle bus stop for the bus the sky was turning dark the wind blows very faster in a few second rains were falling down and I am getting wet but there my bus not still coming. I turn out my mobile from my bag and try book a cab..on that time Varun was calling me, I picked up, say hello. Where are you? Varun asked me very loudly..Excuse me? I said, then I feel I getting angry ..his voice coming cracking and I disconnect the line.. Already my bus came and I get on the bus and take sit at window side the was closed ..

Today the bus was not hugely crowded..but the rain was still falling. The signal was on and the bus already starts running I looking at outside then I saw Varun was came running the bus stop, but my bus already rushes there. Am I thinking what type of happening done? My mobile vibrated, but I was so tired, I nearly ignored it. I put my hand in my bag and then drew out the mobile and tapped a few buttons. It was from Varun, ‘are you crazy? A least you should inform me that you leaving ..I tapped buttons furiously..’ I already inform manager but I can’t found you there..’ Moments later, I was on my way to the home.

Winter fog was fully wrapping this town, the whole sea was sleeping decided to avoid Varun, for a few days; Varun was fully changed, Not a single day had passed without his thinking about me.I observed he care me too much but I can’t say anything anymore..’ yes, he has been in love’ when Abhipsha has given the news, What? Who say you? Are you sure? I couldn’t stop myself questioning her..Abhipsha take her lotion cream and mixing the cream in her chicks and said ‘Varun told me. He cried very much yesterday evening in the café shop I asked him what happened. He said that he getting hurt when you refused his ring..

Did he give that ring? I remember I was found a fully wrapped little box in my office drawer but I can’t take this. Yes, I refused. why I take his gift. I don’t love him, after all, I didn’t have any feeling from that way. He is good friends that all.. I apologized. I think you should have to talk to Varun.’ Abhipsha said in such a sad voice. I said how I faced him? Lets met him tomorrow Abhipsha said. I was not sure how to respond and what I say? Many questions were shattering in my mind..what is thinking? Abhipsha smiled at least you have to know more about him. Maybe your mind was changed.. let's see. I said. It was midnight when I picked up my phone and sent a message to Varun..’ Lets ‘ meet tomorrow. I slept.

Next day we meet at Juhu beach..Varun gives me a bunch of roses. ‘Happy rose day’..Thank you’ I give my smile. He trying to say something but he can’t say. The sun was going to sleep the water of see was rolling and rolling..a wind blowing my face my long hair, again and again, cover my face..let go to the café Varun said..Taking a deep breath, I slid into the chair in front of him. So, are you angry with me? Varun question with his smile. Why? Curious I asked. Actually that day I give you a ring that’s why you angry I think..Which ring? When? I try to show that I don’t know anything.

He was shocked ‘are you kidding me’ Varun said with a low voice. So tell me more about you Ruhi.’ There is nothing to say about me’ I declared. Tell me about you I asked without any hesitation because I need to know more about him..Abhipsha told me. Well, Varun took a deep breath I was born and brought up in Kolkata, Varun started.’ I came a very lower-middle-class family..my father is a big businessman when I was a child..I lost my father in childhood..my family didn’t love me I can’t find the reason. After my father died my mom doing a job of tailoring..She is the hardest woman in my life I ever seen..That time anyone of my family member can't come to help me to survive.

Oh’ I said quietly I watched the pain flash in his eyes..when he spoke of his story..Before three year my mom had a brain stroke and she was bedridden my college education stopped and search for a job because my little savings went into her treatment. It was pretty hard to me for managing medical and other expenses, after one year I lost my mom, ‘I am so deeply sorry for the loss of your mother’, I said I found my eyes were started to fill with tears. but I still not survive Varun said very sad in his voice.. ’what survive’? Curiously I asked. Varun keeps silence for a few seconds. ‘ I lost my wife’ I was surprised by his tone.’ who Is she? How? I was confused.

‘Her name is Kasturi, she used to came to my first office.'

‘What happened?’ I mean how is she lost? I asked. Varun was silent his face was turning red and his eyes were full in tears but a miracle that one drop of tears can’t put in the table. Varun drinks a glass of water and continues I found a job before this bank. They need a fresher person on their company. I was interviewed and luckily I get the job, he smiled. ‘ I became a supervisor in two years, I never guessed he held such sorrow in his life. ‘ I never knew you went through such tough times. You never shared this with me or Abhipsha. I pointed out. Varun shrugged his shoulders, ‘you never asked me, ema, he said.

What happened with Kasturi? Varun cleans her eyes with his hanky, he rounds his yes around the café shop.. Varun started again..the day of Christmas I never forgive in my life..that day the whole town was full in light but my life was in dark. I remember that day I was taken early leave from my office. You know why? That day I will marry Kasturi. I smiled. We are both happy you know..after married we are visiting to oriental bowl restaurant which was Ramada Plaza Palm Grove, Juhu Beach. We are planning for the next program at that time a man came running towards Kasturi and in a few second there was a pathetic incidence happened there. A man threw a liquid packet to Kasturi's face and the bust of the packets her face was totally started burning..

Oh my god. Acid! I said and stop my mouth with my arms. Yes, Sulfuric acid Varun said in a very sad voice. Then, I asked curiosly. Many people running and shouted with panic. I can’t catch the man because already I am also injured by the acid attack. My half of left hand was totally burned. Kasturi was still lying on the floor and shouted everybody will be busy for running, again a packet was bust on Kasturi heads..but who did they doing I can’t recognize, because of too much crowd. I keep Kasturi to my arm and try to leave this place. Immediately the police and ambulance came.

Kasturi was senseless. A medical team kept Kasturi for an ambulance..I never think this was my last see to kasturi. They admit her at sun ridges Specialty hospital after four-hour fight they can’t save Kasturi. her face and ninety percent of body was burned. I can’t save her. Varun stops his conversation his eyes were full of tears. I fell The hole café shop was full of silence and all the air was listening to the stories. ‘Your bill mam,’ the waiter gives a bill book into the table. Varun took a deep breath. I put my arm into Varun shoulder ‘I am sorry’ I apologize.

So, you met? Abhipsha asked without turn her face from the laptop. ’yes’ we met. I said. What did he say? ‘such a sorrow past’ I said softly.’ I know’ Abhipsha said and took a bite and chewed. ‘what you know?’ I asked curiously, She cut the flesh with a spoon before continuing her interrogation.’ Ruhi’ I know the past. Do you know? why did you not tell me? And how did you know? I asked her with little of arrogant. ‘tel you later now I am too tired ‘ she go to her room and shut her door. I fell confused that what can I do? If I accept Varun then what was my future? and second, scare from my dad. Like my dad, he was an orthodox man in both appearance and action. If dad gets the news that I was in a relationship with Varun he will not accept it. I was never imagining more I threw my mobile into my bed and slept.

She sips in hot cappuccino and said ‘.ema ’ why didn’t call Varun to join with us I hope he rushed out office. Squeezing my eyes tight, I gave weak smile and I muttered in myself ‘why did she call Varun here?’ I try to avoid my uneasiness. I turn out my mobile and call Varun. ‘His number was unreachable’ I said, Abhipsha’s face turning fade ‘call again’ she asked, I call again but the same voice recording was playing. We decided to visit Varun's apartment which was at Koliwada. Koliwada was an nice place, there temple, market and street were crowded day and night. Today was huge cold was in town, it was ten degrees celsius and the wind blowing very furiously, the fog has covered the road our cab headlight was unable to cut the fog of Koliwada.

I still try to reach Varun in the phone but the same recording was playing. After twenty-five minutes we reach Varun’s apartment but Varun wasn’t there. The watchman said that Varun still not came from the office. We asked many questions to the watchman but he didn’t get any answer. I decided to back to our home, tomorrow we get it. We can’t talk anymore in the car my thought jump to another thought, There after we are on the way to the home. At midnight Abhipsha get a call from the police station, ‘what happened’ I asked, ‘Varun is in hospital’ Abhipsha’s voice was full of scare. ‘what’? how? I…. I can’t finish my words Abhipsha shouted me ‘can you please stop your questioning and let's go to the hospital. Varun was admitted at medical college which was at gulmohar road, the whole street has slept our cab was running, cold wind was flowing my ears.

I was scared my hand fell away, the coldness of my fears weaving my shoulders. ‘well, did you know actually what happen with Varun? Abhipsha asked, her hand motion down the in cab window’s handel. After forty-five minutes we are reached at hospital, many police van and ambulance stay there and the sound of siren of police van was more try scare me. I get my hand to .Abhipsha tightly and move toward the emergency ward. A man looks at us and come towards us ‘Hello’ mam, I am inspector kabir alawat and he moved his hand towards .Abhipsha. Many constables are marching in to the gate. ‘Don’t worry he is out of danger,’ if you don’t mind we can interrogate to both you, ‘But what happen’ I asked curiously, ‘It’s attempt to murder and this is not a time to explain ’, please came with us at police station.’ Can I met him’ I asked my voice was breaking I fell I was scared and worried about Varun. ‘sorry mam’, inspector Tushar said putting his walky-talky, he still was senseless’ my eyes was full of tears. ‘I will go’, ruhi you sit here after my interrogation you will’, .Abhipsha said strongly. My tears fell slower, after .Abhipsha’s interrogation inspector tushar call me in the interrogation room. .Abhipsha hold my hand and said ‘don’t scared’.

I sat beside of inspector tushar, he started,

'So, Ema Sharma, are you warm ? can you take coffee or anything.’

‘No thanks. ‘ I close my eyes and taken a deep breath. The whole room drop of silence, I hear that few days ago you met Varun, could you please tell me about more.

I don’t know about anything more’, we just met few month that’s all I said with sad voice my was shaking and I fell scared.

‘Sir’ Mr. Varun came back his sence, doctor call you immediately, ‘ a constable came and give the news, we are get in to the police car and back to hospital. When we enter male ward, Varun’s head was full bandage, saline was running, Varun lying on his bed, ‘how is he doctor’, inspector kabir asked, ‘ now he out of danger, but his left leg was fractured and the more important thing his get a major injure in his head’, dr joy pointed out his finger toward Varun bandage head. There after we rushed out at hospital with the inspector, ‘actually what happen can tell me’ I asked him with requesting voice, ‘There were in a car accident near breach candy, I think this was attempt to murder we are already start official investigation your are his friends that’s why I first start my enquiry to yours side, see you soon’, There will nobody found to suspect, but investigation still going,

Varun was recovering slowly but he still in the hospital, his anyone relative was cant came to see him in hospital, after office me and Abhipsha was visit there, Varun still unable to talk, yesterday the doctor asked he going in coma. Still there month left Varun cant response.

I and Abhipsha were visiting regularly in hospital. Varun still in a coma.

I was transferred in Varanasi, Varanasi older than history, older than tradition, here religious feeling rings supreme and each ritual in Varanasi is almost a festival. I don’t know why my soul was shattering? I felt I was not happy somehow, but I can’t find the reason, when I am in office my my mind was in Varun,. I decided stop thinking about Varun, not a single day had passed without my thinking about him. Somehow I fell that I was still crushed by Varun's abrupt accident.

I picked my mobile from the table and flip the screen to find Abhipsha’s number, on that time a text message was notified. It was Abhipsha, Varun has left. The news when I listen to I am not myself and I realized that I was I love with Varun and it was too late. I can't find the murderer and my love. One day I will find my love.