Fear & guilt-the vicious cycle

There is so much being said about mental health for the past few days that I am sure we all have done some retrospection and introspection. As the world has been shattered by the covid pandemic, we have come eye to eye, with not just the inadequacy of our physical health but more importantly the lacunae in the domain of mental health as well. As we all will agree that we have faced many turnmoils and dilemna at some point of our life in past one year. 

Almost all of us have suffered with some loss; either loss of someone or something; in the recent times.

I would not give advise as to what is the best way to cope up with our anxiety. But what I have somehow understood from my life experiences is that whatever be the issues in our lives be, but the root cause behind all our worries and anxiety is - Fear and Guilt.

Whether it's the fear of future or society or of people around us, it's the biggest shackle enslaving us all alike. As a women and that too in our culture, we have been taught to be gracious enough to always sacrifice for everyone around us and then for better or worse, we are in a profession where we are again taught to look after our patients' interest first. 

So this habit of putting others before us, of sacrificing our small moments of happiness for somebody else's joy, it becomes deeply ingrained to our Psych. And I won't deny, these are good virtues that as a human being we should try to practice. But the problem is that gradually we become so accustomed to it, that we just forget to draw a line. 

A line that separates empathy from downright self infliction of pain, a line that separates the tons of efforts we put for others from the millions of times that we sacrifice ourselves for it. 

The guilt of finding joy in the forbidden things and the fear for being ridiculed for the same, the guilt of indulging in self love and the fear of being labelled selfish, the guilt of taking break from our duties and the fear of being named as careless and most importantly the guilt of carving an independent path to our own happy niche and the fear of getting socially outcast for the same ; this cycle of guilt and fear has gripped us for far too long now. 

I have somehow come to believe that if, only if, we could somehow break ourselves free of these chains of fear and guilt, may be then we could awaken our sleeping spirits and get the courage to fly freely towards the horizon in the sky of our dreams.