BEGGAR'S COACH

Swaminathan was a diminutive character and had the looks of the famous clown and actor Charlie Chaplin. Gradually, he went on to adopt all the features of the iconic figure of the silent film era when people around him started to call him ‘Charlie’ and made his life hell. He soon came up with unusual ideas matching to perfection, the pantomime and quirky movements of the great actor. He soon added a toothbrush mustache that gave him a comical appearance and to his surprise the ‘mocking numbers’ had come down. Soon Swaminathan, began to be known as the man of weird ideas as he was called by everyone whom he knew and particularly by his colleagues at the DMRC (Delhi Metro Rail Corporation) headquarters. By temperament, Swaminathan was scarcely pugnacious but when it came to transport his ideas at any crucial point of discussion, he would do with a ruthless calm. He would hold on to his calmness with a strange firmness when he faced stiff criticism or even when his ideas were met with derisive comments or mocked about with disdain. However, he cared less for such rigidness in understanding and stuck on with his logic without any visible confrontation. He had an unusual depth for being creative and made every moment laughable.

When a senior official while climbing down the stairs, saw Swami and asked him sarcastically, “Swami, you’re dressed up like a clown.”

Swami replied amusingly twitching his toothbrush mustache and hand gestures, “Sir, others wanted me to be a clown. I became one to make them happy. Everyone needs a survival instinct. I devised this for myself. I feel more comfortable now.”

The official looked at him with surprise for a few seconds and left. He had never before taken Swaminathan seriously. He thought Swami was short of brains but he was struck by his intelligence.

The situation often became very amusing or comical for Swaminathan when his rejected ideas would suddenly be put to work that produced baffling results. Though Swaminathan worked in the financial department of the DMRC but for most of the days he was sent away to observe the ongoing work at the Phase IV corridors. He often found himself donning a yellow helmet and watching the workers. The senior officials believed that his keen observations of the site will impress his shrewd mind, which was purposeful for them, but it was very punishing on him; since he never produced any technical ideas. Nevertheless, he remained a well- sought-after man and the reason behind this was his penchant for producing ideas out of thin air. Many unusual ideas had raked in substantial revenue for the DMRC and he had become very important for the organization. However, Swaminathan never received the credit even if his ideas proved meaningful and were put to use; and he also cared less for any. He felt satisfied that at least the society was getting benefited from his ideas. However, the success of his ideas getting into public domain didn’t bring any respite to him, as the behavior of people remained rigid; their ego was defeated. The insensitivity of people irritated him, but he remained unfazed, unmindful and cheerful that often silenced his unscrupulous critics.

Most of Swaminathan’s life had been occupied with a series of small struggles. The vast experience that he drew from the odd occurrences gave him a reasonable amount of prudence to avert many by putting his ideas to work and at the right time. Personally, he never faced any problems while experimenting his own ideas and examine its efficacy. It was his own idea that landed him in the DMRC. He always wanted to be in a place where there was abundant scope for generating ideas.

Swaminathan was a man of conscience who remained composed even when faced with tough situations. He considered them as disguised opportunities; it opened up more possibilities for self-development. On most occasions, he was gheraoed by the office staff including females who found him at leisure. Some wanted a solution to control their wayward husbands, some implored him to run his brain to control their reckless adolescent children. Many men would seek ideas to curb the shopping habits of their extravagant wives who burned their pockets.

One day during the lunch break, Swami was loitering in the corridor when Rameshwar, one of the male staff held Swami’s hand and said, “I wish to run a side business at my own place to give a raise to my income. I can invest one lakh rupees to the maximum. Can you give me a potential idea that could earn me regular income without investing any further?”

Swaminathan looked at him for a few seconds as if studying his intentions and said, “Let me think.” He suddenly started to pace down the corridor up and down vigorously moving his arms and legs in an awkward manner. Rameshwar followed him from behind, but Swami shoved him aside and continued with his activity. Those who saw him performing the weird act knew that something was up in his brain and he must be working up another unusual idea for someone. When they saw Rameshwar with his hands locked into each other standing with his back to the wall, they understood that Swaminathan had a client in position.

After a few minutes, Swaminathan looked at his watch and stopped abruptly. He looked up at Rameshwar and summoned him. Rameshwar appeared perplexed. He thought if he had approached the right man to take the advice.

Swaminathan said to him calmly, “I’ve a brilliant idea that I extracted from a marvelous short story ‘Funeral Coat’ that I read in the ‘Eternal Voice’ magazine.”

“How is this story going to help my business?” Rameshwar said with his mouth wide open.

“To a great measure only if you take me seriously and act upon it.” Swaminathan said with an imploring voice rolling his eyes.

“I take you seriously, but I’m not sure about the idea that already sounds very strange to me.”

“Do you want me to explain this brilliant idea to you or shall I end this conversation here.” Swaminathan had his hands on the waist with a mystifying smile.

“Okay, I’m ready to listen, but I’m not sure whether I would be able to act upon it.”

“No issues about it. You know that there occurs a death every day and you also know how people have erected their business over death. Life is business – death is business. Some sell garlands and some shrouds while some sell only bamboo biers. There are others who sell items such as camphor, sandalwood, coconuts and mango leaves. I also want you to do a business related to death, but something entirely different.” Swaminathan’s eyes carried an unusual glint of excitement as he narrated part of another unusual idea.

“Oh! You shock me with such a terrible idea. I can’t sell any such items. I’m not interested in this at all. I’m leaving you with your wild idea.” Rameshwar was scared out of his wits.

“I wish you listened to the whole idea before you leave. You know people come to take ideas from me, but they don’t have the courage to act upon it. Initially, they reject my ideas as rubbish, but later implement it and reap benefits and I never get any credit. You think I’m playing a prank on you. I never do that.” Swaminathan thought for a while and then waved his hand at Rameshwar, “If you wish you can leave.”

“I didn’t intend to offend you Swami but I was really scared when you discussed death. I wish you narrate the real essence of the idea. Look, I’m serious.” Rameshwar said pleadingly.

“Okay then.....as I said before, you don’t have to sell anything but you’ll run a hiring business.”

“What I would be hiring?”

“Black funeral coats.”

“I don’t understand the purpose as yet.” Rameshwar wiped his face with his handkerchief. He looked stunned.

“It is simple business – just give and take. You do nothing else. All you’ve to do is, invest your money to get quality coats of all sizes for all age groups, for males and females stitched by specialist tailors. You can hire a coat at a price of rupees 500 with a security amount of 3000, which will be refundable. You’ll earn rupees 400 on each coat. Think of the people who go to attend funerals in a shabby and undignified manner. Death must be dealt with dignity and elegance by the living ones. You’ll run a respectful business that will worship every death and hold it in high esteem. There will be no dearth of clients that would come from the corporate sector and foreign embassies in the city. You can run this business with the title “Funeral Coat” from your own home space. The business will grow more rapidly than you can imagine. If you wish, I can act as your sleeping partner.”

Rameshwar was awestruck by Swaminathan’s unusual idea. Though still unsure to act upon it, he caught up with the latter’s offer to become a sleeping partner.

“I’m ready to team up with you. I want you to be my active partner rather than a sleeping partner. We can have a 50-50 share in the business.”

“I’ve a permanent job here and I can’t leave it.” Swaminathan said.

“Then you don’t qualify for any profit.”

“If you use my idea and earn profits….you’ll pay me rupees 100 on every coat. I’ve given you a lucrative idea for free. Think of it seriously man, you’ll be a millionaire! You don’t wish to die a selfish man.” Swaminathan performed a Charlie pantomime with a quirky gesture of his body and limbs.

They both shared a hearty laugh before Rameshwar left the scene with a promise to act upon Swaminathan’s weird idea. Then,

Rameshwar wasn’t seen for several months and suddenly one day Swaminathan heard someone in the office mention something about funeral coats. He immediately knew that Rameshwar must be doing a roaring business now. He soon gathered more information about his business and found that Rameshwar had rented a huge space inside a prestigious mall in Noida. One day when he was strolling as usual in the corridor, Rameshwar accosted him and hugged him. He handed over a leather bag to Swaminathan containing money.

“Swami, you’re a genius. Just open the bag and see how much you earned for your gem of an idea that made me a rich man. I would soon be doling out franchises. I’ve created a novel trend with the supply of funeral coats and few newspapers have published my interview and next week I’ll be on Aaj Tak. I’m really excited.” Rameshwar jumped up in the air in excitement.

“That’s good to hear. I mean, this is a huge money for a sleeping partner. It is five lakhs……this means you’ve hired some 50,000 coats if I’m right. I really appreciate you for working up my idea. I knew from the very beginning that it will click and make history.”

“Yes. I reached this figure only yesterday from the day I started. I saved your profit separately collected over the preceding months. I wished you got a fair share for your brilliant idea. I don’t wish to die a selfish man.” Rameshwar guffawed and left. “I’ve to attend a friend’s funeral today.”

******

After the Rameshwar episode, Swaminathan had suddenly become a celebrity of sorts within the organization. He would be chased down everywhere for ideas and people loved listening to his interesting anecdotes constructed around his own unusual ideas. He would often narrate to the bemused people how he had scared Rameshwar with his idea on funeral coats that turned him into a millionaire.

One day when Swaminathan entered the office canteen, he found the place quiet with few people eating or drinking. He also ordered a coffee and sat down at a table close to the window. No sooner he had taken his seat when more and more people came in and every inch of the canteen space was filled up fast. His coffee hadn’t arrived and he wanted to leave the crowded place, but suddenly decided against it.

Swami’s ears picked up a faint trail of argument from one of the administrative staff who uttered something about beggars. Then there were more discerning voices discussing beggars on the streets. It was difficult to capture a clear voice in the huge commotion inside the canteen.

“You know I’ve to dole out ten rupees to a beggar every day who sits at the end of the street. I made a huge mistake at the first instant when I gave him ten rupees thinking he would get himself something to eat. Now he waits for me every day at the same place. If I miss him in the morning he will catch me in the evening or the next morning. I’m fed up now. Can anybody tell me how to get rid of him?” His frustrated dictate had brought an abrupt silence in the canteen space.

Suddenly, everyone in the canteen started to look at every direction. Their eager eyes were trying to spot ‘Charlie’, the man of weird ideas who had an idea for every human problem. They spotted him at last sipping his coffee quietly at the far end of the hall. Swaminathan had just taken the last sip from his cup of coffee when he heard a voice very close to his ears.

“Swami, your head is full of weird ideas. Do you have any idea to check the beggar’s menace on the streets of Delhi?” This time it was Shekhar Jha, a senior metro official who had tried to mock him publicly. Scores of others had joined him in a rapturous laughter. The entire canteen had gathered up to laugh.

Swaminathan didn’t even care to look at the direction from where the question was thrown at him. He kept sipping his coffee calmly and when he had finished it, he prepared to leave the table.

“Has your brain dried up of ideas? I know how one of your crazy ideas changed the life of Rameshwar who was a pauper.”

“Sir, you’re filled with envy for him, but I’m happy that he has set a precedent and created a trend. One day he will be recognized as the pioneer for opening up a funeral industry. Ideas need to be converted into reality and Rameshwar did that fluently.”

The metro official appeared uncomfortable, but he carefully repeated his question, “Any ideas, to contain the beggar’s menace in the streets of Delhi.”

“Of course. The DMRC can play a unique role and also make a great contribution by adding a ‘Beggar’s Coach’ if it is seriously bent upon checking the beggar’s menace in the streets of Delhi.”

“Are you playing a joke on me Swami? I don’t think this idea holds any worth.”

“Not at all. Shall I ask you, sir, why do you beg for ideas when you’ve no guts to put them to work?” Swaminathan had changed his stance a little bit on this occasion.

Shekhar Jha had no answer this time. He quietly stood up from his chair and left the canteen casting a curious look at Swaminathan. He wondered about Swaminathan’s brain capacity to build new connections all the time.

******

The very next day Swaminathan was summoned by the Managing Director, Dr. Raghav Rao to his cabin. Swaminathan wondered if yesterday’s argument with Shekhar Jha have anything to do with it. He felt nervous when he entered the Managing Director’s cabin. The MD was reading some important papers and turned them over again and again before signing and putting them in a file.

The MD looked up at him and asked him to be seated. “I’ve heard about you often from the staff, but never had the opportunity to meet a famous person such as you. So you are the person whose ideas we’ve used quite often to reap commercial benefits. But no one ever told me the truth. I was made to believe that it was the officials who came up with such mind blowing ideas. I never had any inkling that the ideas were originally yours. We have issued certificates of appreciation to the wrong persons. I genuinely regret for the misdoing on our part and I assure you that you’ll be duly rewarded for all the good work you’ve done for the DMRC. I’ll personally see that justice is done to you Mr. Swaminathan. We feel proud to have you in our organization.” The MD made a genuine clarification.

Swaminathan became quite uneasy when the MD praised him. He replied with caution, “I’m just like anybody, sir and an ordinary person. I’ve done nothing extraordinary. It is my duty to serve the organization that has recruited me for a purpose. My seniors would often approach me to suggest some idea that could be put to work. I never had any intention to earn benefits in exchange for my crazy ideas that creep up in my head. I scarcely imagined they would be useful at all.”

“Mr. Swaminathan, you’re a modest man. I respect your sentiments, but there are things, which cannot be simply ignored. I summoned you here for an important reason. Shekhar Jha told me everything about you and he is very fond of you. Yesterday you were talking something like adding a ‘Beggar’s Coach’. It sounds very interesting and I wished to know what exactly you mean by it.”

“Actually, I made a mere suggestion of adding a coach for the beggar’s when I was asked if I’d any idea to control the menace of the beggars on the streets. I just threw up a random idea. Don’t take it seriously sir. I didn’t mean to tarnish the reputation of DMRC.” Swaminathan felt uncomfortable and he immediately gulped down the water from the glass kept on the table.

“It seems to be another weird idea from you but it seems to be very interesting. I take everything seriously. I wish to hear more about it. So please explain the whole idea.” The MD seemed to be really excited.

“I’ll explain the idea to you, sir.” Swaminathan stopped to clear his throat and chipped in again with uncanny seriousness. “The beggar’s will be invited to travel in the Beggar’s Coach during the peak hours. They’ll be asked to wear a kind of uniform to look decent and disciplined. The beggars in groups of five will be allowed to beg inside the coaches assigned to them. The beggars don’t have to sit or roam in the streets and beg for alms. They’ll be right in the middle of the crowd. They can beg with dignity and people will also not look upon this exercise as a public nuisance. They’ll rather support this unique initiative that would be a social revolution. The first of its kind in the entire world if it is properly executed.”

The MD was impressed by the vivid description given by Swaminathan but he was very skeptical and lacked confidence to give a serious rundown to such a weird initiative. He thought it could be a disastrous move, which could compromise his position. He would end up as a laughing stock in the entire corporate sector. He feared to risk his reputation as a great railway man, which could go to the dumps if his decision proved a failure.

The chairman looked at Swaminathan and asked, “What are the chances of failure? Though I’d taken the courage to implement many weird ideas in the past based on your suggestions, but this occasion I’m unable to reach a logical conclusion. I’m nearing retirement and I wish to end my railway career on a high note. I wish to create history. Come up with something big. I appreciate your idea of ‘train wraps’ the advertisement campaign on the body of the metro train. That also is a brilliant idea.” The MD sounded desperate.

“You’ll have more than that sir. This idea will not fail as it has a social value and will be in the best interests of the society and nation and will have a universal appeal. I’m pretty sure that it will get a tremendous following. You’ll be enjoying the dramatic development. I’m sure, sir, that you’ll earn another extension over this.”

“Don’t you think that it will be a burden on the revenue of the DMRC?”

“Not at all. There is a different perspective here, the selected group of beggars who will be allowed to beg inside the train will generate revenue for DMRC.”

“How?” The MD was now sitting on the edge of his big swivel chair. He was very excited.

“I’ll explain the whole concept sir. The uniformed beggars will move in groups of five in each coach and the Beggar’s coach will accommodate 40 beggars every day. However, every day the beggars’ team will be different. One coach will be assigned to each group of five beggars. They will be given ten-rupee-tickets with a tear-off provision in the middle. The passengers will be given a receipt when they give the money to the beggars. This procedure will ensure that they don’t end up paying again or get embroiled in any ugly dispute.” Swaminathan made an impressive speech defined by a professional approach.

“I’m asking about the idea of revenue generation. You know we need more funds to finance many running projects.” Raghav Rao was getting restless now.

“I was coming to that aspect sir. On an average, there will be at least 60 passengers or more in one coach in peak hours and that means there will be a collection of six hundred rupees per coach that makes forty-eight hundred from eight coaches. The beggars will be allowed to make five to eight rounds during one-side journey. Besides, at every stop sixty to seventy people board the train and that makes an additional collection of seventeen hundred rupees on an average. So it can be assumed that one trip collection would be around rupees six thousand five hundred. From ten trips – the average per day collection would be anything between 50-60 thousand rupees. It means more than one crore rupees in a month. The DMRC can make a cut of 75% of the total collection and the rest would be distributed to the beggars. The group of forty beggars will share twenty-five lakh rupees between them and each get around sixty thousand rupees! People from the public should be encouraged to participate and promote this public initiative as volunteers.”

“Swami, your idea seems captivating, but don’t you think that DMRC will be accused of promoting begging in public instead of curbing the nuisance.”

“Sir, there is another angle to this revolutionary initiative. The foremost factor will be that the public traveling in the metro trains will not be giving alms to the beggars but donating a fixed amount of money. The beggars will also not get the feel that they are begging. Then, this very public will automatically stop entertaining the beggars on the streets. There will be a huge transformation in the mindset of both the beggars and the public. Besides, these beggars will be gradually trained to behave well in public domain, clean the metro in the depots and also act as volunteers inside the trains. When these beggars from the streets are elevated to a respectable position, they will transform their habits. They can use the substantial share of money to start their own small business. I’m dead sure that the beggars will not like to return to their old dirty habits of begging. They won’t wish to be spotted on the streets again and branded or humiliated as beggars. It is all about keeping a rigid attitude. If your attitude is too firm to cling on to a negative vocation it must be broken. Nobody is born a beggar sir. We make them beggars. You know begging has become the greatest profession of all times. We are also professional beggars in the logical sense.”

The MD suddenly stood up and started clapping as Swaminathan wore a perplexed look and remained fixated to his chair. He didn’t understand what to do. When he tried to get up from the swivel chair, he slipped and fell flat on the floor. He immediately gathered himself and stood up to see the MD laughing loudly shaking his head violently.

“You’re a real entertainer Mr. Swaminathan. I’m impressed by your idea and it sounds perfect as you explained the concept. My aim is not only to generate revenue but also to spearhead a public movement of a huge dimension. Your idea is indeed brilliant.”

“Sir, I’m grateful that you liked my idea. If a man of your caliber thinks that my idea really holds a social value and in national interest, it fills me with utmost pleasure and a sense of pride.” Swaminathan was visibly moved by the kind gesture of the MD.

“Mr. Swaminathan, you’ll be glad to know that I’m going to place this proposal in the next meeting of the Board of Directors. You’ll also be designated as a honorary advisor. I assure you that your idea will be transformed into reality.” The MD stood up from his chair again to shake hands with Swaminathan, who felt honored in the company of the Managing Director of the DMRC.

******

One day as usual, when Swaminathan went to the canteen to drink coffee, he found the place crowded and there was no vacant table anywhere. As he turned to go back, the entire crowd numbering over a hundred stood up to give him a standing ovation. Everyone started clapping and praised him. They all gathered around him and congratulated him. Swaminathan couldn’t understand their strange and changed behavior unless someone came tearing the crowd to bring a newspaper and hand it over to him.

“Please open it, sir!” It was Shekhar Jha again, who stood close to him with his arm wrapped around Swaminathan.

Swaminathan’s hands were shaking as he looked up at Shekhar Jha and simultaneously opened the paper. On the third page, he saw his picture with the headline –“Ordinary Metro staff’s extraordinary idea gets approval”. The sub-heading below it reads – “DMRC to add a “Beggar’s Coach” to its existing fleet on all corridors.” Swaminathan didn’t take much time to understand that this sudden development within a week of his discussion with the MD had changed the behavioral pattern of the people around him – known and unknown. His reputation was raised to a new pedestal.

Swaminathan was later honored by the Managing Director, Dr. Raghav Rao at a function specially organized to facilitate him. He was conferred with the “Metro Man of the Year” award for his brilliant ideas that generated huge revenue for the DMRC. 

******

FOOTNOTE

*This is a work of pure fiction, however, factual names of persons, places or organization has been used to make the content meaningful and powerful. The author does not intend to hurt the sentiments of anybody or any organization in general. The motive is to generate mass awareness against beggar’s menace in social and at national interest.