Equality Begins at Home

After marriage, every Indian woman's biggest fear is to deal with her mother-in-law. Some women spend so many years of their marriage just fighting with toxic in-laws especially the mother-in-law. While others move into a nuclear family set up, where they are constantly told by everyone else that "Tune toh ghar me aate hi ghar tod diya." Why is a woman the biggest enemy of another woman? If the mother-in-law has been through a difficult time dealing with her own mother-in-law then shouldn't she be more accommodating to her daughter-in-law? 

Everyone may not have the same experience but even women who say they have great in-laws must have had some moments when they felt isolated. The problem is that we look at each other as competition. It's like participating in a race for power and control over the household. Most mother-in-law's blame their bahu for snatching their sons from them.

When I hear such things I think to myself "Are they serious? Is their son a toy that can be snatched away from them? Did they give birth so they could control their son's life?" We need to understand that every generation will have different perspectives. We as women have enough people to fight with outside our homes then why create enemies within the house? When a new girl enters your family, it is your job to welcome her instead of making her feel like she is giving an exam where she has to prove herself every day. Nobody likes to be treated that way.

If you open your heart to her, she will reciprocate. But instead, all you do is make her feel like your approval is all that matters. "Tumhari maa ne tujhe kuch nahi sikhaya. Yeh mera ghar hai aur yaha meri marzi chalti hai." These are common taunts in our society. Instead, if you just told your daughter-in-law that she is equal to you in status and has an equal right at the house then you will bond easily. If every mother-in-law treats her daughter-in-law as a daughter instead of an opponent then most homes will be happy. Your house is not a boxing ring nor is your son a trophy. In these kinds of battles, nobody wins and the person who suffers the most is the son. Imagine the number of time women will save if they didn't fight each other and became each other's support systems.

On women's day this year, let's pledge to help empower each other and create a better world around us. After all, Equality begins at home.