Durga Puja at 41, Deblane :

COME AGAIN, MA DURGA, forgiving us all our ignorance and sins:

"364 days for the next Puja," My elder daughter, Akanksha remarked. I couldn't help laughing, in spite of myself. There was a time when I was working at Ura Pilot School, BHUTAN that I used to count the days left for The Pujas to commence in a similar manner….

The chandimandap looks empty, bereft of any charm and beauty today. With Ma Durga gone, there is an air of hurtful separation hovering over 41, Deblane.

For the last couple of years, I have witnessed a change in me. I have found myself keeping away from the altar room as far as practicable. I don't know if my Ma's demise on 11th August 2006 has anything to do with it.

I still remember the previous night of fierce storms and lightning. My wife and I came back home quite late from the hospital. While I was waiting at the entrance of a ward on the second or third floor for Ma to be shifted back to the ICU from the General Ward, a middle-aged lady, who had seen Ma being rushed to the lift, remarked :

"Ebar onake chhere din. Uni apnader jonyo jete parchhen na…"

(Let her go now. She can't because of the connection with you people.)

Any other time, I would have given her a piece of my mind by asking her to mind her own business. But somehow my conscience kept me from yelling at her.

I tossed and turned in bed for most of the night. But deep down, even in sleep, I could sense a cord being cut off..

Ma Durga this time around, was an embodiment of peace, purity, and serenity. Anyone who came to 41 during the Pujas must have felt like that. Just by looking at her sublime face, the heart of the spectator must have been filled up with inner peace and happiness.

"Mar mukhoshree ebar khub sundor hoyecche.." The beauty and charm of Her face this time around, is breathtaking, to say the least. Even looking at the image, one could sense the divine energy emanating from Her being!

The past four days, since She came on the 19th, have been filled with fun, frolic, laughter, and sunshine. There was some anxiety on the afternoon of the 22nd when the skies darkened and rains looked imminent. But we should have had complete faith in Ma Durga's grace and divine power. Visitors to our ancestral home didn't have to return on an empty stomach. Such was the Divine Power and Grace of Goddess Durga!

I understand my late Ma's words better now: "Dekhbi, Baba. Mayer pujor byabostha Ma nijei kore neben…." ( Ma Durga will arrange Her own Puja at 41.) Recollecting those prophetic words of my late Ma, I get frightened. There is a Supreme Power watching over us, keeping an eye on every move that we make and every step that we take. She is watching over me when I am expressing, and sharing with others my innermost beliefs and feelings. If I am pretentious, vain, boisterous - She can make it out and punish me accordingly.

I called Samir Babu in the morning and this straightforward man shared my view: The world gives back to you with interest. If you do good, good will happen to you but your bad karma will accrue bad merits and it's best not to talk about the consequences.

This Puja, Ma Durga has been at Her benevolent best. She has granted us our wishes and desires without asking, without us even realising it! One can sense this general feeling of wish fulfillment, well-being, peace, and prosperity just by looking around. Mother India has seldom, in recent memory, looked greener or such a nourisher of the highest quality.

As we reached the Metro, my younger daughter pointed to the orange in the sky. Orange, they say is the colour of brightness, fire, and knowledge. The brightness and fire of the Indians are for the rest of the world to see and appreciate. For the first time, India has secured the 4th place in the medal tally at the recently concluded Asian Games, having won a record 107 medals! Halfway through the ongoing World Cup Cricket, India remains the only undefeated country.

Like she was meant to be. Come again, Ma Durga forgiving all our ignorance, negligence, and wrong-doings. For we are mere nothings, insignificant entities without You, Ma Durga.

So long as we, Indians, remain god-fearing, faithful, and fair, Ma Durga will continue to shower all Her blessings on us, and another mother of ours, Mother India, will keep shining as well.

Let me conclude by sharing something intimate, and personal. As I started writing the concluding part of Durga Puja at 41, Deblane, I was full of apprehension. What was I going to write? Whether the way I wanted to do the summing up, will be appreciated by the readers or not. The writer's appreciation, you know. At the end, I put my mobile down and went out on the chandimandap. The massive, rectangular thakurghar (altar room) is back to being under lock and key again. I put my head against the gigantic wooden central door of the room, praying to Goddess Durga. And then just for a brief moment, I had this feeling that this kind of reinforcement writing with the 9 colors of Navaratri, will win critical appreciation and acclaim, thanks to Her blessings.

Happy Bijaya Dasomi.