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Purva Shree

Drama Inspirational Others


3  

Purva Shree

Drama Inspirational Others


Cancer vs Social Taboo

Cancer vs Social Taboo

4 mins 22 4 mins 22

Imagine you are a parent and your son brings home a girl who had cancer. What would be your primary reaction to it? You know what, leave it.  While many of us will argue on whether we will be accepting or not, I can bet that most of us won’t be. Once, I had a short conversation with one of my relatives. She happened to be my well-wisher and always vouched for me. I asked if she would ever consider a cancer patient as a spouse for her son or daughter. After a short while, her answer was NO! And, I was not surprised at all. She was not wrong.


As parents, we always want the best for our children. We would not want them to end up with someone, which might have serious repercussions in their lives as well. Because, why? When out of a billion people, one can choose the best? Just a fact check: any disease can happen to anyone and at any time. It is not gender-specific. But, uncertainty of bearing children in the case of women triggers the society even more.


When it comes to matrimony, people are so obsessed with their bloodline heritage to continue that they never see what a person (read, a cancer survivor) has to offer besides kids.  Ugh. Our society seldom turns blind to this fact that our existence as women is not limited to marriage and the ability to build a family. Nowadays, I feel good as some positive shifts in mindsets are gradually taking place in this regard. 15 years back, I had to face the heat while battling for life.


Even then, most of the people never stopped expressing their concerns regarding my marriage. People hardly bothered about what my parents would feel answering their N no of queries.  Dodging unnecessary questions regarding your future from the well-wishers at any point of life is an art. I became an expert since I had excelled in it at the rock bottom of my life. The ‘funny’ part lies in the fact that they all told me that they cared. Although, there were some “serious” issues which bothered them so much that they soon changed their tracks from caring to worrying. Issues like: what if, she cannot lead a regular life? Will she able to complete studies? Will companies accept her medical condition? How will she get married? What if she cannot become a mother?


Now, all those questions ( and many more) always ended up on the same note: "We are genuinely concerned for her". They said they were helping me. Or at least, they thought so. Amidst a financial crisis and other important matters to take care of, this was the last thing my parents needed to hear. The well-being of their daughter was the first and foremost thing to be concerned with if not anything else. The majority of well-wishers hardly bothered to lend an ear to what my parents went through.


Now, I know they were just a part of the social sympathy group. The problem with raising voices against such people is that they are extremely polite. With a kind caution of ‘just a concern’, they drop the bombs here and there.  The same used to happen in my case which often led my parents to an emotional breakdown.  Most people strongly consider a person inferior to other regular people of the same age just because of a disease. They will tell you about how strong you have been and how unfortunate your life is at the same time. Now people like me had the filter to absorb only positive vibes but then not all can do the same.  You know, what is interesting? They will post captions idolizing Sonali Bendre and Yuvraj Singh battling with cancer in their Facebook wall.


Yet, they are the ones who will never be confident about whether you can make a comeback or not. All they do is discouraging the victims in the scene, with their negative opinions of imaginary 'What If' situations.  My point is if we cannot help to uplift someone in tough times, then choosing silence over injecting negativity sounds way better. Most of us hardly put faith in our circle of kith and kin going through a tough phase. And the biggest irony is that our dearest ones are the people shutting the doors of co-operation. In reality, everyone loves being eye-candy to their dear ones.


But, most of the times, they only show up for attendance without actually caring about anything going on with the patient. This “pseudo care” attitude to avoid being left out from any social parties or trends has been doing the rounds for a long time.  Please consider checking up on people you care about genuinely. Achieving new levels in life (being totally fit and fine) is not any race to follow among the loved ones. Stop doubting the abilities of people to rise and shine. Instead, have faith that we all can make a comeback if we want to no matter the background. If we can’t trust in the comebacks of our circle, then who will?



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