Boy

They say wounds heal but scars never. They fade away but not entirely forgotten. And some scars and bigger than others, they don't even fade away. Wish they could. Wish they would

Its a hardwired reaction of humans to not believe the words that they haven't heard before or seen unless backed with proof. Worst cases they ridicule you, call you names, question what happened to you, and outright separate you from the rest but just because it is rarely seen doesn't mean it hasn't happened.

As a sex abuse victim it's hard to do the usual things a normal human can do. I can't walk in the sun without feeling someone is following me. I end up with panic attacks if I stay long enough alone. I haven't had a good night's sleep in a long time. The nightmares are too vivid and always repeating .... The settings or even the beginning might change but it always happens. And every time I wake up breaking up in a cold sweat and high heart rate, the scars open up, the wounds fresh to bleed. Sometimes I am even terrified to sleep, fearing the monsters that terrorize my nights, I stay awake all night and exhausted sleep through the day, dreamless. I am sick of myself and the very image that the mirror reflects gets me nauseous. I am sick of blaming myself for what happened to me.

And this all gets harder to cope with because I am a boy.