Being Judgmental – An Impediment To Freedom

“Hi, I am Sitara Sood, the third edition of my parents and sibling to two. My sister, Simoni the eldest one got hitched in haste at the age of 25 to the person, we were not confident as it was getting late. And now she is living with us. My immediate elder brother, Sedant craved to pursue a fashion designing course but took a wrong turn and now doing engineering. Huh! While I…I am a prolific person love to explore new areas and want to …”

“Situ, what are you doing? I am calling you for so long..join for the dinner” Sitara’s mom called her half peeping from her door. Sitara panicked and shut her diary.

“Coming, mother” she replied and sighed a relief as her mother left. She glanced at her secret diary where she pens down her sentiments to unburden herself.

Sitara went to have her dinner with her family. Her mother was bound to raise the issue and she raised when she got a chance, “Manya, come straightaway home after your coaching classes. What will people say? It’s not only your aunt yesterday, today morning Mrs. Sharma from next flat was interrogating about your late-night party yesterday. I know you like to wear those clothes and I trust you, but we have to think about the society we are living in.”

I agreed to her concern and promised to obey.

1 day ago

“What are you wearing, Sitara? It’s so revealing and quite unfit for a decent girl” Sitara’s aunt said to her as she stepped in her home from her friend’s birthday party. She wore an off-shoulder bodycon dress paired up with pencil heels. “Don’t wear it from next time.”

“Sorry, Aunt.. actually I wanted to wear this, I loved this dress and each of my friends insisted so..”

“Don’t be on the influence of such friends, I saw your friend, she looked so vulgar.” Her Aunt added. Sitara did not like it but kept silent. But seems, her aunt was not willing to quit and said after five minutes of silence.

“Neeta, children are so disrespectful these days, they do not even listen. See, I am talking to her and she is not even listening.”

Sitara, a bit perplexed at her remark replied half-heartedly “Sorry aunt, I promise will not wear it again.”

After one week 

Sitara just woke up from her bed. She saw her sister packing things, her mother aiding her to pack up. “What’s happening?” She asked.

“We are going to drop your sister back, we spoke to her in-laws and they are fine with it” her mother hesitated.

Sitara shocked after learning and said, “what are you saying, how can you even think of that. She is not even safe there, didn’t you see what they did to her last time. I am not letting that happen again”

“You do not about elderly things, so do not say. People have started questioning why she is here or if she has some problems. They are making up stories, she can’t stay here forever….” Her mother said.

This enraged Sitara. The breaking point of her silence. “Enough mother, enough. For how long other people are going to take a decision for us. For how long. Who will lose if something happens to her, not Mrs. Sharma, not our aunt no one else? We will. They are making stories, that what they do. Judging. It's quite a habit of everyone.” Sitara said emphasizing her last sentence. Everyone is judging people everywhere.

You got Simoni married to the wrong person because you were worried that people will judge. Sedant is not pursuing her passion for fashion designing because someone made fun of him that its girl’s profession. I can’t party, I can’t wear clothes of my choice because my aunt, my neighbors don’t like it. And if I wear, they will judge my character. You tell me how it is fair to judge someone by their clothes. It is there wish, how they want to get dressed, its nothing to do with their character. Do all those who put on such “unfit” dresses are indecent? When I kept silent, she judged me and all the youth that we are disrespectful. Why is everyone judging everywhere? When I sit in my class silently, they say I am arrogant. Cant I be tired or upset at something. They don’t what I am going through?” She said after a pause. “Because of this judgment, people fear to follow their passion, divert from their dreams, and are unable to live freely. Can’t we be just free of this judgment?

Forget about everything mother, let’s start from you. You quit your one week job because your closest ones started pointing out at you that how careless you are towards your one-year-old daughter. You knew you could manage both. The job that you craved for so long. The dream that you crushed because of this fear of judgment. How are we independent when we can’t even take our decisions independently.”

Tears rolled down her mother’s cheeks. She couldn’t agree more. Had it been upon her, she could take it but not on her children. She withdrew her decision of sending her daughter back to hell. It’s not only about her family, she knew from that point she will spread the word and will not support the constant “judgment” by society. It's easy to judge others than empathize.