Always Together, Forever Apart

I needed that so badly. I needed to find it so badly. It was the only thing that would put me at an ease, it was the only thing that would pull me through this night filled with nothing but darkness..

It still clung to my body loosely, it still has its buttons secured tightly to it, and most importantly it still had the fragrance I needed to inhale at the moment, it still had your fragrance. It still reeked of the memories we had made together. And it still reminded me how we were always together yet forever apart.

Holding your shirt close, inhaling your smell and our memories, I mouthed a silent thanks to you. Perhaps you might hear it, perhaps the universe would convey it to you. Or perhaps, you might feel the sound of my thanks somewhere deep in your heart beat. Even if you don't hear or feel it, I would still say it because you deserved every bit of that thanks.

You were my day and I was your night. You are still my day, and what would I have done if it weren't for you. You were that first streak of sunlight that would put an end to the night. You were that burning dazzle that would break through my night, lighting up every nook and corner, diminishing the darkness. Your eyes were the rays of the rising sun, radiating the warmth that would always erase the traces of coldness from my night. Your laughter was like the first cackle of a hen that would always mean the commence of the dawn. And your fragrance was the definition of a fresh day, filled with skies as clear as crystal, with white fluffy clouds, with rainbows painting the skies, with the inexplicable melodies of the birds, with air free from any toxicity, and with sheer happiness and delight..

Whereas I was the night, the one that brought coldness and darkness along with it. The night that would put the day to the end. I was the night that would bring silence with it, a silence that would be at times peaceful, and at times deafening. It was the night that was unpredictable and uncertain. Without your light, I would have gotten lost in my own darkness and uncertainty. Without your warmth, my coldness would have frozen me to death. Without your laughter, my night would have never ended. Without you, I wouldn't have ever experienced what a fresh day was like.

And perhaps without you, I would have never accepted the night that dwells in me. Even though you're gone, the day hasn't left me, the day is still with me, putting a stop to my night and keeping me alive to witness the mornings that resembles you. But when nights like these, too cold, too dark frighten me, I look for your fragrance - your shirt, the one that you had forgotten to take with you just like my fresh days.

Once again holding the shirt close and inhaling your smell, I looked out of my window, witnessing the first streak of light already penetrating my darkness. The day was approaching, indicating again a fresh start without you, but always with your fragrance reminding me that this was what day and night felt like, always together but forever apart.