The Insightful Lawyer

Make crime pay, become a lawyer,

You cannot live without the lawyers,

And certainly you cannot die without them,

A jury consists of twelve persons,

Chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.

A lawyer is a person who writes a 10,000-word document and calls it a brief,

I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck,

But my lawyer thinks he can get me five,

Law students are trained in the case method,

And to the lawyer, everything in life looks like a case.

A Lawyer will do anything to win a case,

Sometimes he will even tell the truth,

The good lawyer is not the man who has an eye to every side and angle of contingency,

And qualifies all his qualifications,

But who throws himself on your part so heartily,

That he can get you out of a scrape.

Whether you want to go into music,

Whether you want to be a lawyer,

Whether you want to be president of the United States,

The bottom line for all of you is that you have got to get your education.

Lawyers are the only persons in whom ignorance of the law is not punished,

To me, a lawyer is basically the person that knows the rules of the country,

We’re all throwing the dice,

Playing the game,

Moving our pieces around the board,

But if there is a problem the lawyer is, the only person who has read the inside of the top of the box.

It is the lawyers who run our civilization for us — our governments, our business, our private lives,

Most legislators are lawyers,

They make our laws.

Most presidents, governors, commissioners, along with their

Advisers and brain-trusters are lawyers, they administer our laws,

All the judges are lawyers,

They interpret and enforce our laws.

There is no separation of powers,

Where the lawyers are concerned,

There is only a concentration of all government power— in the lawyers,

Don’t misinform your doctor or your lawyer.

A lawyer without history or literature is a mechanic,

A mere working mason,

If he possesses some knowledge of these,

He may venture to call himself an architect,

The lawyer’s truth is not the truth,

But consistency or a consistent expediency.

A lawyer without books would be like a workman without tools,

How fortunate I was to be alive and a lawyer when,

For the first time in United States history,

It became possible to urge,

Successfully, before legislatures and courts,

The equal-citizenship stature of women and men is a fundamental constitutional principle.

Going to trial with a lawyer,

Who considers your whole lifestyle,

A Crime in Progress is not a happy prospect,

Compromise is the best and cheapest lawyer,

As the lawyer, I found most of it was a matter of research,

Which I was great at — that’s what I did to death — and then basically, persuading people that you’re right, and they’re wrong,

I found that the easiest of all the professions to impersonate.

Lawyers are men who will swear black is white — if they are paid for it,

A lawyer’s dream of heaven,

Every man reclaimed his property at the resurrection,

And each tried to recover it from all his forefathers,

He is no lawyer who cannot take two sides.

Running for office is similar to being a trial lawyer in a very long trial,

It requires adrenaline and stamina,

It requires being in shape mentally and emotionally,

It’s a marathon.

Finding a good barber is like finding a good lawyer — you gotta go to the same guy,

A good lawyer knows how to shut up when he’s won his case,

I’m a soulless lawyer,

Give me any opinion and I can argue it.

Credentials are critical if you want to do something professionally,

If you want to become a doctor or lawyer or teacher or professor,

There is a credentialing process,

But there are a lot of other things where it’s not clear they’re that important,

The power of the lawyer is in the uncertainty of the law,

There is no better way of exercising the imagination than the study of law,

No poet ever interpreted nature as freely as a lawyer interprets the truth.