Revisit

Standing on a crossroad,

On a silent mode,

With a heavy load, 

I try to revisit my chaos. 

Wondering which way I should go,  

Which path I should follow, 

Which truth I should accept and let myself know,

I try to define my chaos. 

My chaos feel like those strings 

Which with themselves are intertwined? 

The more I try, them to solve, 

The more they get troubling. 

Absolutely still, I stand, 

As my mind struggled to wander again,       

Amidst the memories for which forgetting is in need, 

And through the feelings which I no longer feel. 

Two voices I heard, 

Simultaneously within myself. 

Too silent that nobody could listen, 

Too loud that I had to cover my ears.

 

One voice was from the heart, 

The other from the mind. 

Both overlapping and confusing, 

Tearing me apart. 

Thinking and indecisive, 

Waiting for the answer, 

I cross my arms, 

And this time I let my heart to wander. 

Sweating, I was tired of the invisible work, 

That my mind and heart did. 

So, I starting walking through a path, 

Known as well as unknown to where it will lead. 

Reaching my home in the late hour, 

Searching bed for me was in need, 

So that I could crawl back and lose myself, 

In the nothingness of unconscious sleep. 

In the morning I drew back the curtains, 

As the sunlight crept in and filled my eyes with glee, 

I thought of the last night, 

And finally understood, 

That yesterday I had revisited me...