Plastic

I'm tired of hiding from my own body

I'm tired of concealing my impurities

I'm tired of covering up my faults.

Printing an illusion in the minds of the innocent

Starlit nights gone

Lurking in the want of stars,

But all I had

Was plastic.

How could I present

That which was never my own?

I could cut my veins

And let me free.

But I can't

'Cause I don't wanna be

Weak for the second time.

Always the geek

Always the ugly guy.

Always rejected

A fire raging in my stomach

Desire,

The desire which led to my downfall

Now looks at me and laughs!

It mocks my stupidity

My vulnerability,

Of letting go

Of what was inside.

Of what could've been

Out couldn't be.

Of what shape those inner demons

Could take if I just let them free.

But I did not.

I trapped them in a cage

Laughed as they pounded against the walls

Screeching and screaming -

''Don't kill me, Master!"

I watched as the flames engulfed my heart

And reflecting on my crooked thoughts.

They burned and vanished

Away from my soul.

My tarnished body

Which was then so beautiful

Now crushed my bones, nerves and sinews.

I can't watch-

My vision's blurred with tear-streaked agonies

That's silently killing my thoughts

Of what could've been,

But could not

Because of my sins.