Missing Moon

Day 1 with Moon

The day my heart stopped beating

Either literally nor figuratively speaking. Nobody could have predict it, not even a crystal ball.

Before my heart stopped beating, I want to be with my mother and father, teasing them how they met, playing their emotions lighting the past of their love story. To be with my brother, blowing his love songs, love stories, to unveil the greatest love story he hides that has yet to be told. I sold each little scrap of memory with my friends I have, spread every bit of evidence of the existence of us.

When my eyes grow dim, my soul will be filled with love, my mind full of memories. The driveway I leave has my footprints from when I first step until last. I will move eventually, just not as quickly. When my youth has been reduced to shredded ribbons of fill-in-the-blank memories, everyone still loves me. When my cheeks have lost their fire, like a paintbrush dipped in water, everyone still treasure me. When I have seen all that I came to see and each step feels like I might falter, I know everyone guide me. When desire of love will leave us dry, no food will want to pass in my lips, even my eyes frown dim, I will trace each line, I will try my best to fill in the gaps of memories past because they are mine to hold as I grow old.

The first day my heart beat stopped, I want sunflower not rose, I want everyone be happy because they set me free, I set my life free into pain, struggles, mental illness, beyond this place of wrath and tears.

Because this will happen. Someday, just not today

Day 2 with Moon

A picture that speaks a thousand words

"Little girls are the nicest things that happen to people. They are born with a little bit of angel-shine, even when they are sitting in the mud, or crying temperamental tears, or parading up the street in mother's best clothes. She can muss up your home, your hair, and your dignity. She can spend your money, your time and your temper -- when it seems you are pretty much of a fool after all -- she can make you the best Mom and Dad when she climbs on your knee and whispers, "I love you best of all".

A picture that speaks a thousand of words is my picture when I'm a baby. I'm in my mother's loving palm which shielded love's embers. My mother and father's hand were the hands that led me to Him, that eternally bind me to Him. My first word, the first step, my first smile and laugh and cry, and I am rich who learned from her. Nine months in my mother's womb, and time for me to come out and see the earth, my head is bloody, but unbowed. God gave me the life, therefore I am the master of my fate; I am the captain of my soul. My picture when I'm a baby speaks through my journey: I would be true; I would be pure; I would be strong; I would be brave; I would be friend at all; I would be giving and forget the gift; I would be humble; I would look up -- and laugh -- and love -- and lift.

When I'm looking at my picture when I'm a baby, it reminds me the thought as I qouted from Salvador G. Miraflores "The best things in life are free -- Welcome breath in your nose, Fragrant flowers at your feet, Healthful light of the sun, Duties near at your hand." 

Day 3 with Moon

It is too much to ask for the Moon, but someday, I'll meet the moon.

 

And say

You have me