Lady Unfinished

"I have a dream", said my grandmother,

She was 8.

"I want to study, I want to be a doctor, I want to learn",

"I want to explore, I never want to stop", she said.

"I want to learn", she said at 13.

She was 18, "I want to become a doctor," said she.

"I want to study, I want to learn",

"I want to explore, I never want to stop", she said.

20.

"Marry, dear. Do your hearth and chow, that's a woman you should want to be, that's an ideal woman, that's our job".

22.

"I want to study further, I want to become a doctor", she said to her in-laws-to-be, 

They gave a look,

"I want to study, I want to learn",

"I want to explore, I never want to stop", she said.

25.

She said to her husband, "I want to study, I want to learn",

"I want to explore, I never want to stop",

"Earning is our job, working too,

Do your cooking and cleaning,

That's what you women should do".

27.

"I want to study, I want to learn",

"I want to explore, I never want to stop", she said, to her kid, as it cuddled in her womb,

"I want to grow, just like you,

I never want to stop".

35.

"Can I go to the library? I want to study, I want to learn", she asked her husband and her kid,

"Mom, you don't know anything, you're just sufficient for being a housewife",

"The kids are right, you are my wife, you are a homemaker, you can't do anything outside, now go and bring me my belt from the bedroom".

"I want to explore, I never want to stop", she said, 

As she sobbed to herself on the mattress.

55.

Her mind said, "the belt is on the bed, the tea is made, uniform ironed".

But her heart?

It said, "I want to study, I want to learn",

"I want to explore, I never want to stop".

And now I, am her grandkid, her child's daughter,

And I know this because of little dried drops of water I see on the books she cleans (because she's definitely still not allowed to read),

And I sit with her every day,

And cheer her up, because she doesn't know I know.

And I am, 26, and my idol is her,

I'm a feminism activist,

Because there is orthodoxy still in modernism,

And women like her are still being knuckled under,

Because people forget when her leg is pulled down,

That she's still saying,

"I want to study, I want to learn",

"I want to explore, I never want to stop", she says...