In That Wakeful Daze

If I stand on my tiptoes I can see a good night’s sleep,

I can’t quite reach it but I’m sure I might before the morning creeps.

It hides from me as if I’m counting from behind a tree,

I can’t get it to understand I want it to find me.

It’s like I’m skating constantly between awake and dreaming,

Exhaustion takes its toll on me my sanity is screaming.

It blows its fuse and finds its calm and bliss finds me instead,

My brain shuts down and hears no sound but thoughts in my own head.

But still no rest I try to dream but constantly I’m thinking,

And that just makes it hard to close off without heavy drinking.

Which I don’t like so I can’t do my options limit me,

This overthinking pit I’m in is causing sleepless misery.

I need to shut the world out temporarily to mend,

I need this sleep to find me and to love me, be my friend.

I wish it wouldn’t run away I’m longing for its care,

I’m hoping one day it just stays still so I can meet it there.

I’m sure they say that hurt or loss is something you should sleep through,

Supposedly it benefits to do the things that heal you.

So I’ll keep chasing and keep hoping, I won’t give up trying,

Until I’m sleeping through this pain and dreaming that I’m flying.