How I was & I am
How I was & I am2 mins 45 2 mins 45
Remembering you has become part & parcel now,
Don't know really when & how to finish this vow.
It has been ruining me from within, I am lost totally,
Can't express such grief that you engraved brutally.
Oh my dear, that one-sided pain in my chest exists
As if to remind me everyday what were your actual gifts.
Love delivers joy, it enthralls the inseparable souls,
But in my case, only torments without positive hopes.
I suffered and suffered but didn't utter a lone word,
Still was unable to receive affection but pathetic sword.
You know I tried not to leave behind my responsibilities,
But you crossed every single limit & all possibilities.
I was once princess for my dad, dreamt of being queen,
Unaware of the harsh realities that life often brings in.
Maybe, you couldn't give me crown, it's quite normal,
But at least, could put effort to make me wife as formal.
Believe me, I'll bear even that formality & stay forever,
But, I was not that worthless to tackle insults as beggar.
I was forced & my heart was compelled to be parted,
Physically & mentally I was smashed, totally exhausted.
Yes, even now you appeared in dreams, not as debonair
But as a person made me teared and just as my fear.
You poured me into darkness, showed me negativity
But for you only I found inner power & huge positivity.
I learned to combat, gained strength, teach even others
How life streams and we can never know all the turns.
We must protest, never lose hope and compromise
All should possess self-respect, be failure otherwise.
Life eventually taught me a meaningful lesson by you
Now I distrust reveries & only follows practical view.
From one end, you're the symbol of my every misery
Other helped to live on own terms & that's a treasury..