Happiness

I was there,

Right at the midsection the road,

And a thought struck hard inside my skull.

Why there's a need to carry this load?

When I can make all my problems null.

I tried my best to smile again,

And to make all the amends.

But everything just got into vain,

And I don't think that smiling mends.

I wanna ask everyone out there,

Didn't you see the sufferings and my fears?

Was my pain so mere?

Or you just didn't care to notice my single drop of tear.

Why didn't you listen to my dad when I came to you on that day?

You said you were busy so I left you with your work.

Now I'll just keep all these filthy people at bay,

And won't even let one single person lurk.

I was silent but you thought I'm being myself, 

I wasn't eating but you didn't care to see.

I wasn't screaming but I needed help,

You were my parent and you didn't hear my plea.

The hot shower seemed cold under my feet, 

And the nights haunted to stop my heartbeat.

My intestines refused to eat, 

And I guess even God can't accept his defeat.

I called my so-called friends up to come and meet,

All had plans so they canceled and partied instead.

I could see the stars calling me and wanting me to take a seat,

And I knew then how things would have led.

I just wanted one damn reason to hold on,

And the world gave me none.

Maybe no one will even care when I'll be gone,

I just wish you all enjoy your lives and have a lot of fun.

So I left you all to just fake a mourn, 

And I fell silently asleep, too tired to run.

Bidding my goodbyes to the world where I never belonged,

Finding a place of my own where I can be a giggling soul.

For happiness, I forever longed,

And put all my shattered pieces and making them whole.