Advice To A Son

Never trust a white man,

Never kill a Jew,

Never sign a contract,

Never rent a pew.

Don't enlist in armies;

Nor marry many wives;

Never write for magazines;

Never scratch your hives.

Always put the paper on the seat,

Don't believe in wars,

Keep yourself both clean and neat,

Never marry whores.

Never pay a blackmailer,

Never go to law,

Never trust a publisher,

Or you'll sleep on a straw.

All your friends will leave you

All your friends will die

So lead a clean and wholesome life

And join them in the sky.