Abuse

It started as silence, 

Walking around violence. 

I do not know what to say.

It has happened every day, 

Since February.

Love me, love me not?

I cannot fight or fake sympathy.

They do not believe me.

He is too nice after all.

Right or did I fall?

Did I make it all up? 

A victim mindset, for nobody.

I do not know anymore. 

Maybe, it’s all in my head. 

“Yeah,” I just gaslight myself. 

Surely, I am

Advertisement

not fine anymore. 

He draws lines, too thin. 

To walk or stay in.

He drew them with chalk. 

My tears erase them, but I walk.

“Turn around.”

Was it my gut telling me,

Or the abuse of his anger? 

My heart, body, and mind

Cannot feel the difference.

“I don’t know, how it got there?”

Making terrible excuses,

To convince me he loves me.

I walk at a steady pace.

Too abused and afraid

To remember why.