People often ask me, why after "6!" years?!
I just smile at them, crying inside deeply, and say, nothing yaar, we just weren't serious with each other anymore.
I actually wanted to answer them that,
Excuse me dude! Firstly it wasn't just 6 years! It started with the most innocent, transparent & purest phase of our lives. Where on one side, we both dreamt of holding our babies in our hands in future years, trying to act & behave maturely with each other, while on the other side sharing those weak moments with each other when indulged in a silly talk fight with a close classmate which almost forced us to gulp our tears. Where on one side being extremely insecure for each other & on the other holding each other's hand secretly during ongoing lectures in a crowded classroom.
It was that part of our lives where we couldn't have been much cleaner and beautiful.
It wasn't just those 6 years that kept us strong throughout, it was this purity that always helped us to get this much along!
It wasn't just those "6!" years because....
the moments we'd spent, places we'd explored, sacrifices we've made, numerous lies we've spoken to our families, efforts we've made to bring smiles on each other's face, simply cannot be summed up into a number!!
it happened perhaps because we could see that coming. It happened because we weren't pure anymore. We couldn't live one life in two different individuals. We weren't ready to make sacrifices anymore. We grew up. We didn't want to know what's happening in each other's life. We chose to be apart. We chose everything else over us and still expected to get it along.
But then obviously, this shit had to END somewhere.
Now, We've occupied our minds so much that we don't want any memory to trigger in and make us vulnerable. We've learnt to curb the 'I NEED SOMEONE' moments.
We don't hate each other. It's just we are not ready to accept each other's bad. We prefer being vulnerable at times. We think we've changed a lot, we've become more tougher, more matured, more responsible. We want to become someone in life. We target to achieve many things in life. Set goals. Make plans.
BUT, We are not only fighting with that competitive world but also sometimes with ourselves. With our inner voice.. Asking it to shut up. ...sshhhhh!
Deep inside we are still the same. Even today, a game of bat-guddi gives us the joy that nothing else can. A hug from parents washes away all the troubles. Cadbur Eclairs still gives more pleasure to us than Bourneville. Holding hands tightly makes us feel better than sleeping next to each other with bare bodies. We still fear the tickling near stomach more than the roller coaster ride at essel world...
But instead of these million words I could have said to them, I offered them my first line of defence-an apologetic smile. I look at them, hold their hands and say "Everything's fine!" :)