My Child's School

Chicago 1st May 2010

A baby will not be a baby forever. As he grows, what he needs from us changes and what we provide him changes.

My baby turned two and we started planning his school.

His class in the first school was having kids of ages 18 months to 30 months old.

On the first day after some time, the teacher was finally ready to try the separation and she told me to tell the boy that I was leaving and then I'd come back. I tried to be quick about it, but it was tough, because he started crying.

At that age, he didn’t speak much. But,

“Don’t go Mumma”, he said with his wet eyes, no need to say it otherwise.

Oh, it was heartbreaking. After reaching home, I sobbed, stared at the clock, but the hands on the clock seemed frozen, the time was not passing. It was the first hour of our life, when we were not together. I was missing him, appeared like I was million-billion-trillion miles away from him. I wanted the school day to end soon.

After some days, the teacher told me that he got himself adjusted to the school and started taking part in activities.

One day I was hanging around the school, peeked him and found that he was enjoying teacher’s storytelling and was making gestures as she was doing. Outside, he played a lot. There was no sign of separation anxiety!

I had a sigh of relief and felt proud.

Soon after that, we relocated to different city. But the planning, preparation and arrangements of relocation, then settling down and searching a new school took a lot of time, which in turn meant a huge break for him.

He turned two and a half and his second school started. Even though it was his second school, the long break proved to be a stumbling block. He started shedding his tears while I was trying to leave him, held my hand with a firm grip, so firm that I had to just peel it off. Oh, again it all started.

Soon, the school proved to be a daunting prospect for me as they told me the day he joined school that they wouldn’t be taking kids for outside play as there was some construction going on the road which would go for 3-4 months. I realized, oh, the spring season would end by then, and that the school was really small getting affected by any outer activity. Moreover, they did not let children run here and there inside the classroom, I could see the kids sitting all the time. They were not providing me the feedback of my child, no matter how hard I inquired. I could not see the office staff in any of my visits, the faculty handled the office work too (leaving the kids unattended).

There is a saying “you can’t load heavy cargo in a small boat.” my boat overturned the next day when I found his faculty did not arrive, kids were transferred to another class of senior students (that was in turn full) under supervision of a single faculty. I could not even think of non availability of any backup plan in school. Eeeeeeeeeeeeh, I left my child in such an unhealthy environment. It was awful.

I chose the school as it was near to me. Was this the only criteria that I set or was I misinformed, I don’t know.

I realized that I was the squanderer of my child’s tears. I was remorseful. It still replays in my mind like an annoying tune.

I gave a fresh start to my search and before he reached three, he reached third school.

Today also, his eyes go wet when I drop him off at school, but the beauty of this present moment is the overwhelming amount of possibilities, as I know I gave him the best that I could.