I Dwell In The Past

I dwell in the past.

As I stare into nothingness

From beneath my shut eyelids

The ugly forms mock me.

The much-abhorred forms,

Creatures of the night.

They creep from the dark cave.

They are silent in the day,

Almost nonexistent.

But beneath the black blanket

They creep out of the cave

Slithering and sticking to each other.

I know where they come from:

Unrestrained thoughts peep into them

And unknowingly beckon 

These unwelcome monsters of the dark night.

My open-closed eyes see them 

In colors blue, grey and red.

They steal my breath

Until it turns into short heated puffs.

They build another cave

They recreate themselves

Now in colors green, purple and black.

They are uglier than ever:

Same in essence, varying in size.

I have seen them for years twenty

And I shall see them for more.

They screech and dig their nails deep.

I push them and I pull them.

I lick them and I spit them.

I turn to look into them,

Their hollow eyes like deep wells.

I look deeper and their forms grow formless.

I see the dark cave, the hollow eyes:

In me.