You Decide How You Live

Today I feel happy after a long time. Though am little nervous, I know how big my day is going to be tomorrow. All of a sudden memories started flashing through. I was eight when I acquired something very important. A house party was arranged by my parents on my birthday. I was rejoiced about everything. I had cut my favourite Mickey Mouse cake. I was showered with lots of gifts. My excitement had ended only when I noticed that all the Mickey Mouse toys were given away to the kids who attended the party. That’s it, tears started rolling down. I wouldn’t stop even after my dad promised me to get a new one.

It was then a hand approached slowly holding my favourite toy. I was delighted at the very sight of it. As I raised my head, it was Ishaan with a magical smile. When I looked at my dad hesitatingly, he asked Ishaan if he didn’t like the toy as he was willing to give it to me readily. Then he told that he would be glad if he gave it to me rather than keeping it for himself. He did not want me to be upset on my birthday. That was the moment our friendship has bloomed. It was very surprising that a kid just two years older than me could be much thoughtful. It’s really important to be content with what we have rather than being dejected for what we do not. Making others happy is where the true contentment lies in.

As we grew older, our friendship has become stronger. He was that same Ishaan with caring, understanding and giving nature. He knows me more than anyone. He knows how to calm me down, make me think right. It was his 20th birthday, when we went to trekking with our friends. It was wonderful with snowy roads, cold breezes and those beautiful mountains kissing blue skies.

That was the first time I went for a trip with friends and that too trekking, it was such a thrilling experience. In the evening we stayed in the tents watching beautiful sunset. Everyone had slept early as it was a tiring day. When I was about to sleep, Ishaan approached our tent and asked me to step out. As I went out, he asked me to close my eyes and he covered my eyes with his hands to make sure I wasn’t peeping. Lol, he knows me well. As we walked a little, he asked to open my eyes. I really couldn’t

believe my eyes. Candles were beautifully arranged to form “I Love You”. I did not know how to react. I was surprised, happy and nervous at the same time. Though I liked him, I never expected it would happen so soon. As I looked at his anxious face, I couldn’t stop laughing. I just hugged him and said “Love you too”. After all, how could I let go off such an amazing person.

As I was absorbed in thoughts,my mom’s voice startled me saying that my friends came to see me. I could see tears welling up their eyes. It was obvious because we share such a strong bond. It’s true that life is incomplete without friends. We recollected all those nostalgic moments. My friends are one of the reasons I have evolved as a person. They had shown me a

different perspective, taught me to come out of my comfort zone and much more. I always felt that I would have missed a lot if I haven’t met them. Flashes of our Goa trip crossed my mind. Initially, we were just lazing around on the beach and then decided to try this sky gliding, where you will be attached to a canopy, which in turn is pulled by a speed boat. I was quite enlivened for my turn and finally that moment arrived. As I flew, it was astonishing to look down and the scenery around was marvellous with those blue waters and sky, distant trees and towers. I felt like a bird flying with no limits. That joy did not last for much time.

Wind speeds were doubled and my chute lost its balance. When the towline broke, I was dragged into water and was completely wrapped up in shroud lines and canopy. Though I know how to swim, it was not of much help as my body was trapped in those ropes. I still kept trying to get rid of them and I could hardly breathe with that huge canopy almost collapsing on top of me. It was then, a man arrived out of nowhere and pulled me out of that canopy and released me out of those ropes and took me to

the shore. I could see my friend’s horrified faces and imagine how scared they were.

To be frank, I did not know the chances of my survival on that day. My mom, dad and Ishaan were flashing through my mind. That was the day when I realised the importance of one’s life. Not only to them but to everyone related to them. Above all, it takes a great heart to come forward and help someone. I would be grateful to him forever.

Though I used to volunteer for orphanages, old age homes and donate blood regularly, it never occurred to me about registering for organ donation. Then I have decided to do that. I motivated my parents, friends and Ishaan too. It gave me different contentment. I am a blissful soul with caring and understanding parents, loving Ishaan , amazing friends and the job I’m fond of.

Someone said “God gives us what we can handle”. May be, he thought this happiness is too much for me to handle. Unending Musings got interrupted when Ishaan got some legal documents to complete the formalities. As he took my finger prints, I recalled everything that happened over the past few months. It was our ninth love anniversary, when I was vivacious to meet Ishaan after three long years. He was coming from Germany. We were in the plans to get married soon and settle down here. All that was flashing through my mind was how I wanted to give him a tight hug and tell him how much I missed him. That day has changed my life in an unimaginable way. A sudden blow to my car and everything went blank.

I woke up in the hospital bed after few days only to know that I am completely paralysed. I was unable to speak or move any part of my body. Later,got to know that I remained comatose for almost five months. Daily treatment included speech therapy to communicate through eye movements. Computer graphic control linked to my eye movements which can be turned to words. NMES for analysing neural functioning. Various treatments used to go on. I was dependent for every basic need. Days were going by, I didn’t know if there was even any scope. Though my parents were strong, who can see their child in sick bed

without any hope of recovery. They were hiding all the pain with a smile, however I could see the grief in their tired eyes. I knew Ishaan would be busy with his job but he never let me feel desolate. He used to work from home most of the days so that he could spend more time with me.

After undergoing therapy for almost two years, I was moved home. It was actually my responsibility to take care of my parents. I felt helpless and powerless. I knew how difficult it would be for for my parents and Ishaan. Chances of recovering and hope were decreasing day by day. I did not want Ishaan to suffer because of me. I wanted him to get married, have kids, lead a peaceful life. But he would never agree for that. It’s been four years since everything changed. Though I have the courage to fight, I felt it was pointless. I had resolved to opt for euthanasia. I hated the feeling of being dependent. I was not of much help at that stage. I felt at least after my death, I will be able to save some lives. I wanted to donate my organs to

the needy. I conveyed it to my mom, dad and Ishaan. As soon as they knew, they were shocked. My mom burst into tears. They tried to convince me but I knew that I have fought enough and it’s time for me to let go. Moreover I wanted to do something purposeful. I did not want to lead my life that way. I was being selfish there, I wanted to live even after my death. With great effort, I was able to convince Ishaan. I knew he understands my agony. He was my ray of hope. He made my parents understand. That was the time when we had to proceed legally. I knew it would be an arduous task. It took almost 20 months to get approval. I would say that it happened soon, usually it takes more time.

My struggle of six years is going to end tomorrow. I would rather say that my struggle of six years is going to be meaningful. It is going to be for some good cause and not futile. Ishaan has already taken care that the help will reach the needy on time. My parents, friends, Ishaan everyone seemed poignant. Even I feel so. I won’t be able to see them again. After all, I am a human.

I took a vow from my parents that they would never let their tears out. I knew Ishaan would take care of them pretty well. I asked Ishaan to promise me that he would get married soon. A true fighter never gives up is what we know. But according to me a fighter who knows when to rebel and when to give up makes him/her a better one. People might judge, but my parents never raised a coward. It takes huge courage to make a decision and stick to it all through. All I know is that I am going to make at least eight lives better.

Tomorrow is all about hope.

Tomorrow is all about strength.

Tomorrow is all about belief.

Tomorrow is all about you.

You decide how you live.

PS: Euthanasia is not legal in many countries. Main intention is to convey that there is always a brighter side.