You Can Count On Me

Friendships are relationships that involve two very critical dimensions - the interdependence and voluntary participation, explains Northern Illinois University psychologist and friendship expert Dr. Suzanne Deggas White in an email interview.

I agree with her statement. I think true friendships are hallmarked by each member's desire to engage with the other- it's about a mutual interest in one another's thoughts as well as a sense of belongingness and connection.

It was in 1976 when I had joined anoknoened college after completing my schooling in New Delhi. It was my first day at college. I was a bit nervous as I was told that the senior students will welcome us by ragging. There were many freshers along with me. We were together as all of us of different streams but united to avoid our fear of ragging. During this funny ragging, one of the senior boys was continuously staring at me. By nature, I was very bold and never liked anyone to stare at me. I hate such people. Our classes had already begun and we paid attention to our studies. Time passed. I noticed that the same boy named R was still the same and never missed a moment of staring at me. My friends used to tease me that I must make him a common friend. He was handsome, polite with girls, well behaved, of average height but somehow I didn't feel like doing that.

After a year our college had organised three days camp for trekking at Padampuri near Nainital. In the deep jungle, our camp was based. We were 45 students. At the camp dance, music, cuddle dance, bonfire were memorable things. It's the time of the year when the temperature drops down and those extra wood and papers are valued the most.

The anklet's sounds made by the crickets and howls of wild dogs were making the place scary. There no mode of communication was available.

At night, I along with my few friends wanted to explore the nearby area. Though it was risky we decided to move on the rocky area amongst the oak trees. We took a torch and a wooden stick for safety's sake. We were climbing up from where ever we were finding the path for maintaining our balance. The trek was a bit difficult and dark. I was behind the girls but due to the darkness, I could not see a small bolder on my way and tried to hold that for my support.

The next moment I slipped from there and out of fear shouted for help. No one could hear my voice as I was taking the short but difficult track. While I was falling down I was caught between two branches of a tree and at the same time felt that someone was holding me. I could not turn to see who was there as I was struggling to save myself. When I balanced myself I turned around to find out the saver. It was none other than R whom I never liked.

He smiled and said, " You can count on me. Don't panic. Now you are in safe hands." These words had a great impact on my heart and mind. That changed my thought process and my attitude towards him. I thanked him for his help and asked him how did he come there. He told me that he followed me as he was concerned about me. We became true friends.

After completing our studies we were in touch. I started working. One evening on my return I found a few guests at my place and my mother told me that they had brought a proposal for my marriage. I told my mother that I was not interested in them. She gave me a picture of the boy to see at least. But I was reluctant but when she insisted I looked at the photo. I was shocked as it was of R. I immediately nodded. Now it was my mother's turn of getting shocked. She looked at me and understood. Both of us got married and became friends forever first and then, husband and wife. We are still together enjoying our family life.